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Life is often like this, cold and warm self-knowing, joys and sorrows.
You can't ask people to empathize with you because they haven't had the same experience as you, so you can only swallow some of the pain slowly over the years.
Until one day, you compromise with yourself and convince yourself to let go of everything.
In the movie "This Killer Is Not Too Cold", the little girl Martinda asks Leon, is life always so bitter? Or is it only like this when I was a kid?
Leon thought for a moment and replied: Always.
It seems that the older a person gets, the more things he needs to carry, so some people say that middle age is the loneliest age group. In the past, all the people around you were taking care of you and teaching you how to grow, but now, as far as you can see, you are surrounded by people who need to take care of you.
So sometimes, you have to grieve yourself, hide all your edges, even if you feel tired occasionally, all you can do is three glasses or two light wines.
Then comfort yourself and say that you will get better in the future, and everything will be over after a good night's sleep.
In 1154 AD, 30-year-old Lu You entered Beijing to participate in the imperial examination, and the examiner gave him the first place after reading the papers. It was Qin Hui who was in power at that time, because his grandson Qin Xun was in the same scientific examination and was below Lu You, so Qin Hui was furious and instructed the examiner not to admit Lu You.
Soon after, Lu You returned to Shaoxing, and because he was depressed, he borrowed wine in Shen Yuan to kill his sorrows.
Unfortunately, Tang Wan also came to visit the garden with her current husband Zhao Shicheng on this day, and the former lovers looked at each other, and the past was like a flood that burst the embankment, overflowing through the flood of the years.
This year, it has been a full ten years since Lu You wrote a letter of resignation and divorced his ex-wife Tang Wan.
After obtaining her husband's consent, Tang Wan walked into the pavilion, toasted Lu You with a glass of wine, and told him to pay attention to his body.
At this time, Lu You only had a wry smile left in his heart, laughing at the impermanence of the world, laughing at the white clouds and dogs, laughing at the people who really love each other, why can't they be together?
Looking at Tang Wan's distant back, these wry smiles turned into endless grief, so Lu You took up the pen and wrote the famous poem "Hairpin Phoenix" on the wall of Shen Yuan:
Red crisp hands, yellow silk wine, the city is full of spring palace wall willows. The east wind is evil, and the joy is thin. A melancholy, a few years away".
But what Lu You and Tang Wan didn't expect was that this farewell would become a farewell in their lives.
In 1155 AD, Qin Hui died of illness, and Lu You was recalled to the dynasty and officially entered the official career. Compared with the love of his children, he has more ambitions in his heart, and it is his lifelong ideal to recover the lost territory of the Central Plains.
Therefore, Lu You has been practicing swords for 40 years, just to be able to gallop on the battlefield one day, and be ashamed of Jingkang.
In the spring of this year, Tang Wan visited Shen Garden again, and inadvertently saw Lu You's inscription on the wall of Shen Garden, and couldn't help but shed tears on her cheeks, so she also attached a poem "Hairpin Phoenix":
The world is thin, people are evil, and the rain sends dusk flowers to fall. The wind is dry, and the tears are left. If you want to write about your heart, you will be oblique in your monologue".
In the autumn of the same year, Tang Wan died of depression due to illness at the age of 27.
Originally, the "crested hairpin" was a token of love between him and Lu You, but now it has become a lifelong farewell, and he didn't even have time to say "goodbye".
That year, Lu You was 19 years old and Tang Wan was 16 years old, and the two tied the knot.
Tang Wan is famous, the only daughter of Tang Hong in Zhengzhou, her grandfather Tang Yi was an official to Honglu Shaoqing, and Tang Wan has a good face and is quite famous.
Therefore, she and Lu You are a talented and beautiful match.
After marriage, the husband and wife are very affectionate, he dances the sword, she strokes the qin, he recites poetry, she makes tea, and the piano is in the palace, so it is not quiet.
But it was precisely because their relationship was so good that Lu You's mother was worried that Lu You would be addicted to his family and forget his ambitions, so she found someone to divinate a hexagram and forced Lu You to write a letter of resignation on the grounds of "incompatibility".
Mother's life was difficult, but Lu You still secretly set up a separate courtyard and hid Tang Wan in it, until Lu You's mother was finally discovered and forced Lu You to marry Wang, and this relationship came to an end, which lasted only one year.
However, some people meet it, and it is a lifetime thing.
Time is like a flash, more than 40 years have passed.
In 1199 A.D., 75-year-old Lu You revisited Shen Garden, looking at the spring in the garden, the past came to mind again, so he wrote the poem "Shen Garden" that sang through the ages
The slanting sun on the city draws a corner of mourning, and Shen Yuan is not a restored pond.
The spring waves under the sad bridge are green, and they were once shocked.
Half a life of ups and downs, Lu You has ups and downs in officialdom, but he has never given up his ideals, and he is still writing before his death: Wang Shi set the Central Plains Day in the north, and the family sacrifice was not forgotten.
However, only the relationship with Tang Wan made him miss it, and he couldn't face it, maybe he felt guilty, maybe he was reluctant, but it should be more about missing.
Therefore, before Lu You passed away at the age of 85, he still had poems to recall that period of the past, which was the uneasy meaning of his life.
None of us can know what it's like to miss someone for more than 50 years, but when Lu You wrote the sentence "I also believe that beauty will eventually become soil, and I can't bear the dream too quickly", he had already imprinted boundless sadness and sadness in time.
When I look back inadvertently, my heart is full of misery.
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