Love has the characteristics of directionality, which can be one-way or two-way.
Compared to marriage, love occurs and lasts for a relatively short period of time. Once it happens, it doesn't go away easily. Two individuals who fall in love will have a certain degree of dimensionality, some are one-way and some are two-way. There is unrequited love, and there is double love. Some people love celebrities and dream lovers, but they can't get it, so they can only have unrequited love, and after both men and women meet, they have a good feeling, and love arises from it, even if it is two-way love.
Human beings' understanding of the world is a subjective understanding, not a comprehensive understanding, nor a true and objective understanding. That is, the world is just an image in the human brain. Human beings know the world through their senses, but they don't know the world as it is. The world that people know is different, and it is ever-changing and colorful. Even if some people want to explain what the world looks like, it is only a one-way view, but not everyone's understanding. When people begin to know the opposite sex, they have a great prejudice, but they think that they know the right thing. It's like people know the world, always thinking that they know the right thing and others know the wrong thing. Even in the process of communication, there will be various misunderstandings, and even mutual persuasion will not be possible.
For love, it is even more impossible to convince each other. Even people can't describe their love and can't get the approval of others. In ancient times, people chased the opposite sex with their biological instincts to mate, and the birth of the next generation was only a product of mating, not a subjective human behavior. When human beings are conscious and thinking, marriage will gradually arise. Love seems to have become a natural occurrence and a prelude to marriage. However, when society develops to a certain extent, people will deny love, and even use morality to restrain love, preventing men and women from falling in love. The "order of the parents, the words of the matchmaker" in the feudal society. It can only be said that men and women have the reality of marriage, but there is no process of love. Love is very precious and only exists on one or both of the loved ones. The love tragedy between Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai is embarrassing, the two love each other, and they want to "live in the same room and die in the same hole." Resisting the obstruction of feudal forces with death, in the end, you can't "live in the same room", you can only "die in the same hole".
If Liang Shanbo loves Zhu Yingtai, and Zhu Yingtai doesn't love him, unrequited love will occur. It's as if Xue Baochai loves Jia Baoyu, but Jia Baoyu doesn't love her. and Cao Zhi's admiration for his sister-in-law Zhen, and he also made up the story of Wushan Yunyu. Unrequited love is painful, and you have to take out your fiery heart to the other party, but the other party doesn't look at it and doesn't say a word, so you can only end up lonely and lonely. Even if two people fall in love, they are only thousands of miles apart, and they have a two-way lovesickness, but the messages are different. Love seems to be blocked by time and space, just writing a letter to express the pain of lovesickness, it seems that it does not relieve the sorrow, but intensifies. Ouyang Xiu wrote about the sorrow of thinking about the return of her husband, "After thousands of sails, the slanting veins are long, and the intestines are broken in the white continent." ”
Lovesickness because of love, without love, there is not too much lovesickness. One-way love can not be reciprocated, it is painful, two-way love can be reciprocated, but as long as two people cannot be together, it is still painful. Jia Baoyu fell in love with Lin Daiyu, but did not try the clouds and rain for the first time like the attacker, but fell in love spiritually, which eventually led to a tragedy. The two sides love each other, but they can't go together, and even meet every day, but they can't hold hands and talk. The northern Shaanxi folk song "Three Ways of Blue for Sheep's Belly Hand Towel" sang: "Three ways of blue for sheep's belly hand towels, it is easy for the two of us to meet each other, but it is difficult to talk." "Love appears, but it can't bring two people together, it's really uncomfortable.
If two people come together because of love and get married, there will be no love. As the saying goes, "Marriage is the grave of love". If after getting married, one party cheats in marriage in order to find love, it is considered a betrayal of the marriage. And love is always there, it depends on how people look for it. It can be said that everyone may be in love, but only when you receive a response can you get the sweetness and beauty of love, if you don't receive a response, just unrequited love, you are really narcissistic, and even self-absorbed.
After people fall in love, they have to analyze it to see if it is emotional, whether it is narcissistic, and the other party does not respond at all. If the other party responds, is it the object of your own pursuit? Some people imagine that the other person is beautiful and really pursues it, but they find that it is not the type they like. It turns out that just knowing each other by their appearance is a relatively shallow behavior in itself, is it the physiological attributes that are at work?Perhaps, the root of love is the driving force of physiological attributes. In Freud's doctrine it is called "libido", and when it works, people become sensual, even lose their minds. Someone falls in love with someone they shouldn't love, but they just think that the other party responded, and even lived together, but it was just unrequited love, and it turned out that the other party was a **. When you are deceived by hundreds of thousands or even millions, the deceived woman or man feels that something is wrong. Love itself does not have much utilitarian color, and any love with a strong utilitarian color is not real love.
Many times, love is one-way, and even if both parties respond to each other, it is not necessarily true love. Of course, after responding, both parties know each other what they think they are, not what they look all about. After all, people's cognitive abilities are limited, and they can only know others within their own limited cognitive limits, and they will not recognize more aspects. Especially human nature, which is unpredictable, makes love full of crises. Whether it is one-way or two-way love, in the final analysis, it is one-way, and it is also people's own understanding, but it is not necessarily an objective fact. It takes identification to see love as it is.