Some people are always struggling with one question after a breakup: does he still love me?
But to be honest, "love or not" doesn't matter to the other person anymore, because he separates from you not out of love, but because of the accumulation of contradictions in getting along.
He wants to get rid of your entanglement and jump out of the relationship, even if he still loves you, he won't say it.
It's like having a conflict when you're in love, you get angry, and the other party doesn't care if he's wrong, he will coax you first, just because he wants to avoid quarrels by coaxing you.
It's the same after a breakup, whether he still loves you or not, he will be ruthless and indifferent to you first, because his purpose is to break up and want to break up with you.
There is no need to dwell on whether the other party still loves or not, solving the problem is the right way to redeem it.
Before you take the next step, you need to know what your ex is thinking.
You must know that the other party's proposal to break up does not mean that he is not uncomfortable, as long as he has been in a relationship with you seriously, he will feel sad after the breakup, and in the face of loss, people's instinctive reaction is pain.
However, you may find that the other person is less upset after a breakup.
This is because he wants to maintain consistency in his words and deeds, he wants to suppress his thoughts, he wants to control himself, and he doesn't take the initiative to contact you, but if he softens his heart, you will definitely start pestering him again.
Falling back into the same misery is more unbearable than losing you.
So he will definitely control himself and resolutely reject you. If you can show him that there are other ways to resolve the conflict, then he may still turn back.
But I've seen too many people who give up halfway through, and before they can do much, their mentality collapses, and many people will set up a self-barrier and push the failure factor to the outside.
For example, if he doesn't reply to me, I've tried hard, he doesn't give me a chance, in short, he can't accept his own failure, so he keeps looking for a reason to convince himself to give up.
Of course, it is much easier to give up than to insist, but the abandonment of these people is often to give up in action, but they are very unwilling in their hearts, so they will torture their predecessors and themselves again and again.
Maintain a calm mind, not too much focus on the results of the compound, but focus on the persistence of action.
I'm telling you, you must be getting closer and closer to getting back together, but you need to have a strong willpower, otherwise you will have to go further and further on the road to recovery.
Then the question is, what do we do that our predecessors want to see?
When you have just experienced a breakup, you will definitely feel lost and sad, you can express your painful emotions, but don't pester the other person, otherwise it will cause him to resent it.
You can vent your reluctance or sadness, but don't take it upon the other person. In this way, when the other person understands your state from other sources, your sincere heart can also win you extra favor.
Next, we need to do spatial separation and leave each other's worlds for a while. Doing so will not only increase the guilt of the other party, but it will also allow you to calm down and analyze the problem.
Spatial extraction
Disappearing for a short time doesn't just mean not being proactive in connecting with others, but also not posting social updates.
The time of disappearance is not for you to do nothing, you need to spend most of your energy on your own shortcomings, and if the two of you are not comfortable getting along, it is definitely not your problem alone.
But at present, you can only get close to the other party by first eliminating what the other person hates about you and keeping the place where you attract him.
Correcting yourself has increased your chances of recovery, but it doesn't mean that you can get back together right away, and you need to attract the attention of the other person again. To attract the other person effectively, we need to take some steps to get the other person to notice us.
If you are always obedient to him, delivering food and transporting him to and from work every day, although these actions are your way of showing concern, he may not particularly care about it, but will feel that you are interfering with his normal life.
But if you focus on yourself, you have a big change and contrast, and occasionally create a little surprise for him, he can also receive your love.
If it is a matter of declining attractiveness between you, or if he has lost his novelty and desire to explore you, you will not meet his criteria for choosing a mate.
Whether you can get back together really depends on your own worth
You have to work hard to restore your value, to make more friends, to expand your knowledge.
When you have improved both soft and hard skills and are enough to match the other person, the other party will regain interest in you, after all, everyone likes the more attractive opposite sex.
It will take a long time to do this, but believe me, you can learn these things for a lifetime, even if that person doesn't look back in the end.
I believe that around you, there may be a better person of the opposite sex than me, and they will bring you more growth. If we can be together, our relationship will bring a win-win outcome.