Writer Emerson once said, "The best, most reliable, most effective, and most powerful stimulant we know of is social." "Socializing is like a double-edged sword, which can bring us opportunities and cooperation, but also hide unpredictable risks. In this complex social network, it is especially important to maintain seven points of trust and leave three points of suspicion. We must always remember the advice of the ancients: "You must not have the heart to harm others, and you must not have the heart to prevent others." ”
01 Those who behave as "active and humble" are often just superficial gestures. A modest, polite attitude makes people feel comfortable and easy to get along with. However, there may be hypocrites among gentlemen, and we should not take them lightly. Just like Liu Renliang in the Tang Dynasty, he was depressed when he was demoted to the history of Qingzhou. During the journey, he had an argument with an overseer, and in order to maintain harmony, Liu Renliang took the initiative to give in and lived in a poor house. However, the overseer took the opportunity to submit a letter to the imperial court, accusing Liu Renliang of various faults. This story teaches us that in the face of superficial humility, we need to be vigilant against those who may not be good for us. Learn to look high, but at the same time, pull a hand, leaving room for emergencies. Establish a "everyone is equal" mindset to make the future of social networking more robust.
Observing the successful people in the social network, they may not be able to succeed immediately with their talents, but they have been precipitating and accumulating, and we cannot underestimate them. It is recommended to maintain a firm principle in social interactions, and not blindly follow the other party's superficial humility. On the contrary, we need to be humble while being cautious of those who are mediocre on the surface but cunning on the inside.
02 Those who "ask for help for no reason" may have hidden ulterior motives. We often encounter people who seem to be pitiful, and their stories of distress arouse our sympathy, so we help them in time. However, we should not jump to conclusions that some people's requests for help may be just a professional beggar or a deliberate wagging tail for mercy. As one writer put it: "Beat the water dog so that the dog does not shake off the dirty water on you when it comes ashore." "In 684 of the Tang Dynasty, when Lang General Jiang Sizong was on the way to investigate the case, he was received by Liu Renliang and confided a lot. As a result, Jiang Sizong was in the middle of the lurk, and Liu Renliang skillfully used this opportunity to make a request, making Jiang Sizong the object of Wu Zetian's dissatisfaction. This story teaches us that when faced with a plea for help, we need to look carefully at the truth and weigh the pros and cons, rather than simply agreeing. Society is full of examples of kindness being overdrawn and good intentions doing bad things, and we need to find a balance between kindness and prudence.
03 Those who "like hard" often have ulterior motives. There is a saying: "Nothing to be courteous is either a traitor or a thief." "Many people are willing to associate with you because they have a plan, not just a meal and a nice word. For the boss of the unit, being overly flattered may lead to paralysis of the mind, and mistakenly believe that the person who says good things must be capable, which in turn affects the work arrangement. And as the head of the family, after being flattered by a bad boy, he may be convinced, and the result may lead to the loss of the family's property and the family's unrest. In a friendship relationship, if someone is touting you, we should keep a certain distance. Because such people don't really see you as a friend, they don't dare to point out your shortcomings and don't give you sincere advice. When you are in trouble, such a person may leave quickly. For strangers, if someone is overly boasting about your appearance and suddenly knows what you are private about, it's worth being wary of. For example, some unscrupulous merchants may be hypocritical on the surface, but in fact they are for some kind of benefit. In life, or in the circle of friends and WeChat groups, people who pursue likes excessively are often hypocritical, we must keep our eyes open and see the truth clearly.
04 Those who are "arrogant" may eventually be crushed. There is a saying that says, "Don't get too close to an arrogant person, or when he is crushed, it will also affect you." "People who like to show off, once they show off too much, may lift themselves too high and end up falling badly. We are advised to be vigilant and stay away from those who are arrogant and arrogant. Just as Zhiyao of the Jin Kingdom wanted to rebel, his clansmen and some friends saw through his thoughts and left one after another, only to lose to Wu Zetian in the end. This story reminds us that when the people around us start to be arrogant, we should stay away in time. In socializing, always be wary of those who may not be good for us, do not be fooled by the superficial brilliance, and keep a cool head.
05 The French writer Moloya said: "The first conversation is always just a probe. It is necessary to study a map of the spiritual world thoroughly before you can pass through it. In social interactions, walking into the occasion with a "defensive heart" is not to do things that "neighbors suspect the axe", but to judge people with wisdom and test people with time. First of all, it is necessary to observe a person carefully and judge his behavior based on some experience and ancient teachings. Secondly, think about the other side of life, increase the perspective of treating others, and reveal the dark side of life. Finally, maintain sincere communication and separate the false from the true. If you can't, keep silent. In social interactions, learning to say no is a compulsory course, and we need to be vigilant enough while remaining kind.