Huang Yun dictated: "Mom, don't you live well in the old community?"Why did you come to my house, my mother-in-law has nowhere to go, so I took her to my home to care for the elderly, I hope you don't mind. "That's what my son said to me. It seems reasonable, but it chills me. I am also a mother, why does my son treat me so differently from his mother-in-law?Hello everyone, I'm Huang Yun and I'm 71 years old. Today, I am an elderly person who lives alone, living alone in the old community. In the past, I never felt the loneliness and helplessness of old age. When my wife was still alive, we had a happy life. His pension is nearly 8,000 yuan per month, which makes our lives quite smooth. At least, we don't have to worry about the cost of living. And at that time, my son had just gotten married, and he would come home to visit us almost every week. The family is happy and life is full of joy. However, ten years ago, my wife passed away due to a serious illness. Only two years passed between the discovery of the disease and his death. After my wife passed away, my life changed dramatically. The first is the concern about household expenses. In the past, with my wife's pension**, we not only lived without worry, but also gave our son thousands of yuan a month for living expenses.
But after my wife died, I had to rely on myself. When I was young, I didn't pay much social security, and I didn't start paying a little every year until I was 40 years old. Now the monthly pension is less than 1,000 yuan. So, I have to calculate every expense carefully, and if I am not careful, my life will become difficult. In addition to my financial worries, I also started to feel lonely. In the past, my son would come home to visit us every week. But since the death of his wife, his son's attitude has gradually changed. At first, it was once a week, then it became a month, and then it may only be once every six months. I thought it was because my son had grown up and was facing more family pressure, so he didn't have time to go home. However, when I took a closer look at the other elderly people in the community, I realized that this was not the case. For example, Lao Zhang in the community, his son comes home to visit him every weekend. I once praised Lao Zhang during a group of old people chatting, saying that his son was filial. Lao Zhang told me unabashedly that it was not easy. He said: "I used to have a pension of 6,000 yuan a month, but I never gave him any subsidy or helped him financially. "I was shocked to hear that. It turned out that my son's attitude towards me and his mother-in-law was so different.
Perhaps, I doted on my son too much. In the past, in order to make him self-motivated, I never gave him any financial assistance. And now, I live alone, but I feel the coldness of my son. This made me start to rethink why I should pay so much for my son, and in exchange for such treatment. Perhaps, I need to revisit this issue. I don't want my son to be overly dependent on me or overburdened, but I also don't want to be left out in the cold. I longed for my son's love and companionship, just as I had in the past. Perhaps, I need to be honest with my son and work together to solve the problem. Only in this way will we be able to maintain the intimacy between mother and child and face the difficulties of life together. Although I am now an elderly person living alone, I firmly believe that as long as there is communication and understanding, the relationship between me and my son will become better. I hope that through our efforts, our relationship can improve and our family can be filled with warmth and joy again. This story happened to Lao Zhang. Lao Zhang is a retired old man who has two sons, one who works in the field and the other who runs a small shop nearby. However, Lao Zhang was not very satisfied with the performance of his sons.
Although Lao Zhang's sons sometimes come to see him, more often than not, it is because they want to get subsidies. Lao Zhang didn't think that money could measure family affection at first, but after he turned 70, he gradually began to accept this reality. Until one day, Lao Zhang's son brought his daughter-in-law and grandson to the house for the first time, which moved him very much. However, this emotion did not last long, because Lao Zhang's son borrowed money from him again, this time to buy a house. Lao Zhang only has a little pension and can't help his son at all. Lao Zhang is worried about his old age, but his sons don't understand his worries. When the three-bedroom house in the family is renovated, the extra house becomes an attractive condition. I can't help but be moved by this condition. When I am old, I often feel insecure and lonely. It was an interesting choice for me to go to my son's house to retire and see my children and grandchildren every day. However, the decision was not an easy one. The son started to get a little impatient. He said, "Mom, can you help me, if you don't help me, I won't come back in the future, my mother-in-law has helped me a little." That scared me a little.
Before giving my son any more money, I still asked more: Son, after this new house is renovated, you must take me to your home for the elderly. The son said: "Definitely, I will pick you up as soon as the decoration is completed." However, the money was given to your son, but the original promise was never fulfilled. After my son's house was renovated, I waited for him to pick me up every day, but month after month, I never waited for my son to come. Since my son didn't come, I had to take the initiative to go to his house. I thought to myself, if I come and stay for a few days with my clothes, after a long time, I will live at my son's house by default. However, last month, when I went to my son's house with my clothes, I was saddened. I didn't say anything to my son in advance, so I took my own initiative to go over with my things. When I arrived at my son's house, I knocked on the door, but it was my own mother who opened the door. When my mother-in-law saw me, she immediately said happily: "In-laws, why are you here, hurry up, please come inside." ”。I also said unexpectedly: Why are you also at my in-laws' house, what a coincidence, we all collided on the same day. As a result, my in-laws said: I've been here for a long time, not just here, you sit down quickly, and I'll pour you a cup of tea. Frankly speaking, the enthusiasm of my in-laws made me a little uncomfortable. I always feel that my in-laws are the masters here, and I am the guests.
After a lunch, I completely understood that my in-laws had been living in it for three or four months. The remaining secondary bedroom, she had already lived in it. At that meal, I ate very tastelessly, and I always felt like a big stone was blocked in my heart, and my throat was very stiff. After eating, I found an opportunity to go out alone with my son. As soon as I left the community, I angrily asked my son, what is going on, didn't you say that you took me to your house to care for the elderly, why did you pick up your mother-in-law instead. Instead of apologizing, the son apologized. Instead, he said directly: "Mom, don't you live well in the old community?"When my son said to me, "Why come to my house, my mother-in-law has nowhere to go, so I took her to the house to care for the elderly, I hope you don't mind." I felt a wave of doubt in my heart. What about his mother-in-law's house?The son replied, "My mother-in-law's house was given to my brother-in-law a few months ago, so she is coming to my house now." Me: What should I do about my mother, I just gave you the rest of the pension money when I said that you would provide for me. Son: Mom, this can't be helped, although this house has been renovated, but the monthly mortgage often overwhelms me, and now my mother-in-law promised me that she has a monthly pension of 5,000 yuan and is willing to subsidize us with 3,000 yuan, so I let her live here.
When I heard my son's words, I couldn't say a word for a moment. I didn't say anything more, but just packed my clothes and went home. Although my son later apologized to me, I still did not forgive him. It was only now that I finally understood what the old people in the community were saying. It turns out that when you are old, the level of your pension will sometimes really affect your children's filial piety to you. I wonder what you think?