Zhou Xiaobai is the first woman in Zhong Yuemin's life, and the relationship between them is only at the stage of "kissing". Although Zhou Xiaobai longs for a deeper relationship with Zhong Yuemin, Zhong Yuemin, a person who never stops, has changed his feelings for him.
Not long after Zhong Yuemin first arrived in northern Shaanxi, he met Qinling, which fascinated him. Therefore, Jiang Biyun had a contemptuous attitude towards Zhong Yuemin and reprimanded him for "eating the things in the bowl, but still thinking about the things in the pot".
However, Zhong Yuemin responded with a smile: You have never heard of such a legend?When the wandering wanderers return to their homeland, the first thing that catches their eye is that their lover has become another man's wife.
When Zhong Yuemin evaluated Zhou Xiaobai, he obviously underestimated him, because Zhou Xiaobai is a person with a firm and persistent pursuit of love.
Zhong Yuemin pointed to the yellow earth in front of him and asked Jiang Biyun: Is the slope we are standing on suitable for growing roses?You see, roses grow here!I don't think it's possible, I have to choose to grow sorghum and corn. He said, "You must know that the conditions in this place are very bad!"Such an environment is too harsh, and beautiful flowers not only need the right temperature and moisture, but also a good atmosphere for emotions. I don't think you're too naïve!When others remember past feelings, it's because they've come to their senses, and we can't take them too seriously.
In Zhou Yuemin's perspective, Zhou Xiaobai is like a flower that needs to be cared for, and he can't bear this cold and biting life. He said that he is a dreamer, a person who likes to dream. If these two people are destined to go their separate ways, then it ends in the most moving part of the story, and it ends forever.
In Zhong Yuemin's heart, the most romantic memories between him and Zhou Xiaobai began with their first kiss.
First kiss. In the original work, Zhong Yuemin has strict requirements for women's appearance, and his mother is very beautiful, which explains why his father never remarried after his mother's death. His mother was a beautiful woman and his father was a handsome guy, but neither was a man in the true sense of the word. Zhong Yuemin holds the view that it is difficult for his father to find a suitable partner, and the demeanor of his mother when he was young has improved his father's character. Obviously, Zhou Xiaobai also has outstanding looks, and if it weren't for her beauty, Zhong Yuemin might not have shown enthusiasm for her on the ice rink.
Zhong Yuemin and Zhou Xiaobai were each other's first lovers, Zhong Yuemin was attracted by Zhou Xiaobai's beauty, but Zhou Xiaobai was deeply fascinated by every detail of Zhong Yuemin.
First love always makes people's hearts beat faster, and at the same time, it also makes people full of curiosity and desire to explore each other.
Once, in the process of playing and playing, the two hugged each other tightly, and Zhou Xiaobai gently pressed his face against Zhou Yuemin's chest.
Although Zhou Yuemin often calls himself a "veteran of the love field", he does feel a little helpless when the girl takes the initiative to come to the door. Because in his opinion, girls don't need "love veterans", he just wants to change this title to "love newcomers". The so-called "love veteran" is actually just joking with girls, and there is not much practical intention.
In the original work, Zhong Yuemin seemed to be more avant-garde than others in that ascetic era, and he stroked Zhou Xiaobai's head, as if he wanted to say but stopped. Finally, he plucked up the courage to carefully ask: Xiaobai, what should we do next?
Zhou Xiaobai is a good girl who grew up under the protection of her parents and has excellent academics and morals, but she always behaves very reservedly when facing the relationship between men and women. Recently, however, she seems to have become interested in "raw rice can't be cooked with rice", which has excited her. In the depths of Zhou Xiaobai's heart, he may think that Zhou Yuemin's cynical attitude, combined with his previous skilled "touching the head and killing" skills, his next step may be "raw rice cooked and matured."
Zhou Xiaobai was really too worried this time, because Zhong Yuemin is not an expert in the love field."
Zhong Yuemin brazenly put forward a suggestion: I think. Next. It's kissing time, but it's really not clear how kissing feels, Xiaobai, let's try it?
Zhou Xiaobai always hopes to lengthen every moment spent with Zhou Yuemin, the slower the better, and enjoy every moment wholeheartedly.
When Zhou Yuemin was still thinking about whether he should take the next step, Zhou Xiaobai still chose to bury his face in Zhong Yuemin's chest, immersed in the warmth that belonged to him.
At this critical moment, Zhou Yuemin suddenly mustered up the courage to say: If you don't dare, then forget it, frankly, I also feel a little uneasy in my heart.
How could Zhou Xiaobai lose this heart-pounding feeling?After all, she has a deep love for Zhong Yuemin.
In the original work, the kiss scene between the two is described: when the lips of the two finally touch, Zhou Xiaobai feels a wave of dizziness, and a strong whirlwind suddenly swells in her heart, causing her brain to go blank and her body to suddenly become weak.
Zhong Yuemin felt dizzy, he had never expected that a woman's lips would be so soft and uncontrollable at the slightest touch, this unusual sensation instantly filled his whole body, causing a series of tremors.
Lao She, a writer, once mentioned: First love is like the first blooming flower in youth, we should not give up easily.
However, for Zhong Yuemin, an "uninhibited" person, this is simply a bondage. Since the moment Zhou Xiaobai left the army, Zhong Yuemin has deeply realized that the two people are actually two completely different worlds.
Separate letters.
Soon after Zhong Yuemin set foot in northern Shaanxi, he had a deep affection with Qinling. Both of them are the kind of people who only care about the process and not the outcome, and if you say it nicely, it is "heart-to-heart";If it is not said well, it is "like-minded".
After all, merely immersing yourself in the process without pursuing the end result is the greatest irresponsibility to the feelings.
For Zhou Yuemin, on the one hand, reason told him that "you and Zhou Xiaobai are destined to be people from two different worlds", and on the other hand, he waved to him emotionally and said, "Qin Ling is the same as you, as long as you enjoy the process".
Therefore, Zhou Xiaobai soon received a farewell letter from Zhong Yuemin. That night, she couldn't control her tears, and even packed her luggage, preparing to go to northern Shaanxi to find Zhong Yuemin, hoping that he could explain it face to face.
In the end, Luo Yun succeeded in stopping him.
Zhou Xiaobai's feelings for Zhong Yuemin are deeply loved by people, as described in the sentence "I don't know how to fall in love, go deep", she is really a very persistent woman, doesn't she understand that "in the world of feelings, whoever invests first will fail"?
When Zhou Xiaobai became very serious, Zhong Yuemin began to feel scared instead, the person he liked would eventually like it, and the person he liked would like it, but he never wanted to be bound by any woman.
Therefore, at the junction of Zhou Xiaobai and Qinling, Zhong Yuemin chose a Qinling that only pursues the process but not the result.
This reminds me of the poem written by Cangyang Gyatso: "Spend happy time with your lover, whether it is fate or fate." In his works, he always captures our hearts, his understanding and perception of love always touches people's hearts, and each of his works will give people a shocking feeling. It is very appropriate to use this sentence to describe Zhou Yuemin's views on feelings.
After many years, Zhou Xiaobai finally understood the real reason why Zhong Yuemin broke up with him. It turned out that all this was not directly related to Qin Ling, and Qin Ling's appearance only accelerated the process of the two of them breaking up.
Zhong Yuemin told Zhou Xiaobai: You are too "axis", and it is precisely because of this "axis" method that I decided to break up with you. He's a very assertive and bold person, and I guess that's what makes him so appealing, right?You have scared me, you are dying before I have made any promises to you, and if we keep going, I'm sure you will die sooner or later because of me.
Zhou Xiaobai's emotional persistence may be what many men desire, but his affection for Zhong Yuemin is a deep bond. Zhong Yuemin is not the kind of person who can be satisfied just by relying on family life, and there is always an unruly character in his heart.
Just as Zhong Yuemin experienced during the famine when he was in northern Shaanxi, other educated youths took to the streets to beg, believing it to be an act of humiliation and self-esteem, but Zhong Yuemin thought it was a very good experience and found pleasure in it. In his opinion, it is a new way of life, a new experience. Life should be like this, occasionally experiencing a new experience, even if it is sitting on the high slope of the loess to catch lice, you can allow yourself to live a monotonous and boring life every day.
Zhong Yuemin pursues a "on the road" lifestyle, and this kind of lifestyle, few women can afford.
Even if Zhou Xiaobai loved her deeply, he couldn't do it. Zhou Xiaobai only hopes to live an ordinary life, and he is convinced that the woman who can accompany Zhou Yuemin through such a life has not yet been born.
Even in a place like Qinling, which only pursues the process and not the result, she will not choose to live this kind of "on the road" life with Zhou Yuemin. In the end, she did not choose to live a comfortable and wealthy life with rich people. The "on the road" advertised by Qinling actually refers to the mind on the journey, while the body is always immersed in luxury and **. Her whole life is like a person walking on the road, she always keeps walking on the road, but in the end she just stays in one state - on the road. Compared with Zhong Yuemin's pursuit of "on the road", this obviously seems insincere, which may also be the main reason why Zhong Yuemin finally chose to keep his distance from her.
The life that Zhong Yuemin pursues, as the famous writer Qi Jinnian said: he hopes to have an unattainable dream, even if it is in cold weather and on a distant road.
The philosophy of life pursued by Zhou Xiaobai is: "When someone asks me about the temperature of my porridge, someone will accompany me through the dusk".
Zhou Xiaobai's life trajectory has deviated, causing his love relationship to fall to a low point. Maybe his relationship will never be so fair, but when Zhou Xiaobai falls into a doomed gamble, he loses a lifetime of emotional support.
Receiving love but not getting it often fills people's hearts with hatred, because the line between love and hate is quite blurred in the first place.
When Zhou Xiaobai and Zhou Yuemin met again, it was already three or four years later when he returned to Beijing to visit relatives. Zhou Xiaobai thought that time would dilute his feelings for Zhou Yuemin, and might even turn all his past love into hatred, but when Zhou Yuemin appeared in her sight again, Zhou Xiaobai was never able to hate him.
It's not hate, it's not hate, but real anger is real.
Zhou Xiaobai angrily reprimanded Zhong Yuemin: Zhong Yuemin, you are such a scoundrel, you have forgotten how we met. You shouldn't have provoked me with a smile on your face, but when I fell in love with you, you easily abandoned me. Do you know how I've spent my years?
In Zhou Xiaobai's opinion, it was you who angered me in the first place, why did you abandon me, this matter is exactly what you Zhong Yuemin owes me.
Zhong Yuemin is a friend, his righteousness is undoubted, but as a partner, he is really not worth it. He is a very assertive man, he doesn't like what others say, he has the final say. After ending his relationship with Zhou Xiaobai, he tried his best to push Zhou Xiaobai and Zhang Haiyang together. However, the relationship between them has not faded with the passage of time. Isn't this a knife stabbing Zhou Xiaobai in the heart?
Zhou Xiaobai's marriage to Zhang Haiyang was largely due to a dispute with Zhou Yuemin, which can also be seen as an act of revenge. Because deep in Zhou Yuemin's heart, he loves Zhou Xiaobai deeply, but he can't provide her with the lifestyle she desires.
Zhou Xiaobai and Zhang Haiyang have been married for a long time, but neither of them fully accepted Zhang Haiyang (did not live with him). Zhang Haiyang knew that the reason why Zhou Xiaobai rejected him was because he still had the shadow of Zhong Yuemin in his heart. Zhou Xiaobai's actions undoubtedly created an obstacle between Zhong Yuemin and Zhang Haiyang. Considering that Zhong Yuemin attaches great importance to friendship and righteousness, this could also be an act of revenge?
With the passage of time, Zhou Xiaobai, under the patient guidance of Zhang Haiyang, finally decided to accept him.
When Zhou Xiaobai contacted Zhang Haiyang with Zhong Yuemin, he told Zhong Yuemin: Yuemin, I plan to fully accept Zhang Haiyang and return home to spend the rest of my life with him, and let the past become a thing of the past. I don't want to divorce him, but if you want to break up with him, then I will have to bear all the responsibilities, including financial compensation after the divorce, mental damages, etc. I tell you that this is a duty to me, to my husband, and to you.
After Zhong Yuemin heard those words, his heart was full of anxiety. On the one hand, he hopes that Zhou Xiaobai and Zhang Haiyang can live a happy life, but on the other hand, he also feels sad that his former "Bai Yueguang" really belongs to his friends completely.
That night, Zhong Yuemin was so drunk that he was unconscious, and he gave Gao Yue a ** with tears in his eyes, saying: I'm not sure who these words can convey to anyone, do you understand what I mean?What kind of person am I now!Xiaobai and Zhang Haiyang have entered the palace of marriage, TM is personally connected by me, what should I do?My heart was shattered. Qinling, Qinling. Hey, don't mention it again.
All of these are the result of Zhong Yuemin's self-inflicted consequences.
As Zhang Haiyang once mentioned: Yuemin, you have feelings for everyone, but your love for yourself is deeper.
Zhong Yuemin has deep feelings for both Zhou Xiaobai and Qin Ling, but his love for himself is deeper and his pursuit of freedom is stronger.
In the end, I would like to end my article with a sentence from Fu Seoul, dedicated to girls like Zhou Xiaobai: Nothing should belong to you, including love, so it's good to feel a little sad when you lose, regret is the norm.