Recently, I can often brush some "bear children" who have been ** on the Internet:
In restaurants, theaters, and shopping malls, some children are yelling and screaming, running around like crazy, and they don't say "sorry" when they bump into people;
In parks and scenic spots, some children litter, climb trees and pick flowers, and defecate ...... anywhere
Some people think that these are just small things.
But actually,Behind the little trivialities, what is hidden is the quality and upbringing of a child.
The English philosopher Locke once said:
In the uneducated, bravery becomes rudeness, learning becomes pedantry, wit becomes amusement, simplicity becomes rudeness, and gentleness becomes flattery. ”
Rather than focusing only on their children's academic performance, far-sighted parents will pay more attention to their children's etiquette and upbringing.
The child has no upbringing
It's hidden in these 3 details
1. Empathy
When the writer Ye Shengtao educates his children, he often admonishes them to think more about others.
He once told a story:
Once, the father asked his son to hand him a pen, and the son handed it over.
Unexpectedly, one end of the nib of the pen happened to fall into my father's hand, and the ink stained my father's hand.
The father said to his son:
When handing something to someone, think about whether it will be inconvenient for the other person to receive it. The tip of the pen is handed over, and others have to turn it around, and there is no cap, and it will dye the ink of one hand. ”
A truly kind child always knows how to empathize and put himself in the shoes of others, which is a kind of tenderness that pushes oneself and others.
Teach children to empathize and put others in their hearts, so that children can gain more kindness and tenderness on the road of life.
2. Be polite
I once heard such a saying: "In this world, nothing is taken for granted, and nothing is supposed to be." ”
The most important thing in life is to be polite, always be grateful, and express sincere gratitude for the help given by others.
The same is true for educating children.
When you receive help from others, teach your child to say "thank you" and reach out when the other person needs help
When you cause trouble to others, remember them and repay their kindness in a timely manner.
Maintaining politeness is the starting point of children's life and work, and it is the "parenting business card" that children carry with them.
3. Learn to listen
I've heard the saying: "If you can speak, you can win an audience;."But only by being good at listening can you win friends. ”
Listening means acceptance and understanding.
When listening, children can learn from the language of others and understand their attitudes and principles.
A person who is good at listening is definitely a patient and respectful person, and such a person is naturally more likely to gain the favor and respect of others.
In the process of children's growth, parents should first learn to listen to their children, subtly influence their children, and let them understand
When you learn to listen, you learn to respect others.
Those who only care about themselves and talk endlessly, but do not give others a chance to speak, it is difficult to get true friends.
How to raise nurturing and kind children?
If you want to raise children with good character, parents must know how to keep learning, reflecting and adjusting, and adopt correct and scientific education methods.
The most important are the following 4 points:
1. Give children full love and companionship, and help children establish a sense of security
Love and security are the prerequisites for children to explore the world.
Children who can feel the unconditional acceptance and love of their parents will feel their own sense of existence and worth, physical and mental health, independence and autonomy.
He will be full of curiosity and yearning for the world, and have the courage to explore various things and take steps to grow.
Parents should spend as much time as possible with their children between the ages of 0-6 and especially between the ages of 0-3, and have intimate interactions with the children to enhance the emotional connection between parents and children.
Do not ignore, do not randomly beat, scold, threaten, and criticize children, such improper education will only make children doubt their parents' love for themselves, fear of being abandoned, and be sensitive and full of anxiety in their hearts.
2. Have rules and principles to help children distinguish between right and wrong and establish correct values
Parents love their children, which does not mean that they unconditionally indulge their children and give them what they want, but they must have clear principles in many things and do not compromise at will.
Otherwise, children are prone to become arrogant, self-centered, and ungrateful and ungrateful children, which is not conducive to children's interpersonal communication and social adaptation.
Specifically, parents should not overdo and protect their children, but should encourage and guide their children to be independent, try and explore more within a safe range, and constantly challenge themselves and exercise their abilities.
This will help your child gain experience and build self-confidence.
Parents should also teach their children the rules of dealing with others and the boundaries of words and deeds, such as:Etiquette and politeness, social norms, and behavior requirements in other people's homes and public places allow children to have others in their hearts, know how to be responsible for their words and deeds, and behave appropriately and proportionately.
3. Encourage and support children to view setbacks and failures correctly
Some parents show dissatisfaction and disgust when their children make mistakes and fail, and like to hit and reprimand their children, destroying their children's self-confidence, causing their children to dare not make mistakes, fear of setbacks, and become cowardly.
Reverse quotient is a very important lesson in children's character development. Parents should teach their children to correctly recognize and cope with setbacks and failures in life, cultivate children's tenacious willpower, and form a growth mindset.
In everyday life, allow your child to make mistakes, and focus on teaching your child the right way to solve problems, rather than venting your emotions to your child
When children encounter setbacks, give them psychological support, guide them to pay attention to the process, see setbacks as an opportunity to learn, make changes from things that can be changed, and constantly improve themselves.
If you don't let setbacks and failures break your psychological defenses, your child's heart will become stronger.
4. From other discipline to self-discipline, teach children to resist and develop internal drive
Many children lack self-control and are easily attracted to things in front of them that can quickly obtain pleasure, such as watching TV, playing games, and playing, but cannot overcome inertia and concentrate on more valuable things such as learning and reading.
Parents should pay attention to the cultivation of self-control from the beginning of their children's childhood.
First of all, it is necessary to create a regular, organized and principled family living environment, have certain requirements for life and rest, item placement, and the use of electronic products, and perform in accordance with the rules with children to form good habits.
At first, use rules and requirements to restrain children's behavior, and gradually, parents should also know how to give children appropriate autonomy, not always control children with their own ideas, and arrange everything for him.
It is only in full freedom that children develop self-control and learn to manage themselves.
Good upbringing is an instinct that is integrated into the bones, which is reflected in the details of life and inadvertently moves people.
As the writer Dean said:
Upbringing, this thing is like blood vessels. It can grow intricately in the deepest part of a person's flesh and blood, and it is indivisible. ”
If it is said that ability determines whether a person can fly high or not, then upbringing determines whether a person can fly far away.
Raising a well-bred child is a lifelong blessing for parents.