Just as clutter in your closet builds up, relationships slowly pile up over time.
Assessing the social relationships that consume us, rather than nourish us, is essential to well-being.
Research confirms that strong relationships contribute to health, happiness, and resilience. Just like deciding your wardrobe, cleaning your social circle will create space for your relationships to develop.
There are many reasons why long-lasting friendships are built. The sunk cost fallacy leads us to believe that length of time equates to intimacy.
Nostalgia blinds us to the current incompatibility. We ignore red flags. Social inertia keeps us stagnant.
The advice of Marie Kondo, a master finisher, is to keep only items that "bring happiness", and this also applies to relationships. Even an energy-draining person can have a negative impact on your mindset.
Here are the signs that a friendship needs to be re-evaluated:
You connect out of guilt or out of obligation or boredom, not because you seek it from the heart.
Your needs and priorities are no longer aligned, not in the same channel.
Conversations are always repetitive, and there are no new topics.
You feel insecure or competitive instead of being supported.
Interaction will leave you exhausted, not energized.
Ask yourself – are the two sides investing in each other?Will they celebrate your success?Can you show your vulnerability in front of them?Is the relationship fair or unbalanced?Are you no longer fit for him?
If certain relationships always leave you feeling exhausted, it's time for a radical change:
Gradually let go of relationships that have been exhausting you. Just because you unplug doesn't mean you're the bad guy.
Carve out space for new social circles that align with current interests and priorities. Find like-minded people.
Check in with friends who are still together to check how your relationship is working and brainstorm ways to improve your relationship. What needs are not being met?
Get ready for more authentic, nutritious relationships that will help you bring out your best self.
Surround yourself with people who inspire you to grow.
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