I've not had a good family since I was a child. My parents are ordinary farmers, and they have several children to support at home, so they have very little money. But I've been working hard since I was in elementary school, and my grades are always good. My parents also encouraged me, saying that I would get out of poverty by studying in the future.
I also want to realize my dream as soon as possible and stop dealing with muddy land every day. Finally, I was admitted to the secondary school and became a primary school teacher. Hey, I thought my life was going to be smooth sailing. Who knows, an unexpected encounter made my emotional path take a detour.
There were a lot of female teachers in my unit at that time, but I was a nerd who knew how to chase girls. I remember one day, my colleague Sister Liu introduced me to a female teacher named Qin Xiaolan. People take the initiative to chase me!She's eight years older than me!Originally, I thought that no, with such a big age difference, there will be a generation gap in the future.
Who knew that later by chance, the two of us happened to be alone together. Somehow we got together!Hey, I was too young and simple-minded, and I didn't think about it that much, so I agreed to be with her.
After I was with Qin Xiaolan, she also helped me beg her father and transferred me to a middle school to teach. We also gave birth to a daughter and lived a small life. It's just that the good times don't last long. After my daughter grew up and went to college, there was a problem between me and Qin Xiaolan.
Qin Xiaolan: After she turned 50, she was no longer interested in the sex life between us. I was only 42 years old at the time, a man in the prime of life, and I still wanted her to accompany me. But every time she brought it up, she called me a "hooligan" and threatened to tell our daughter, how dare I really force her. Every time I feel so miserable!
Later, the number of quarrels also increased. I remember one time when I was talking to a female teacher in my workplace, she was very upset when she saw it, and when she came home, she made a lot of noise. She always felt that I wanted to be with other women, and I left her, as if I didn't want her anymore when she was old. I don't mean that!But she couldn't stop me, which made me lose face in the unit.
One day, I couldn't help it, so I talked to her: "Wife, why are you so suspicious all day long!".I don't even plan to divorce and find a little girl!”
She argued with me: "I see that all of you men are the same, and you don't admit that you have horns on your heads!."Forget it, I'll just enjoy my pension anyway, it doesn't matter who you go to!”
I also lost my temper: "I still want a normal sex life and a family!".You're making such a fuss all day long, can I still stand it!”
Such quarrels are increasing. Now that I'm 55 years old and she's 63, I look at her with gray hair, and I'm really tired and regretful. I want to get a divorce too, but I'll put up with it for the sake of my daughter. Hey, in my life, I have been planted in an inappropriate marriage!
Since then, the relationship between me and Qin Xiaolan has been so cold. She seemed to be living a retired life, singing and dancing with her sisters in the town all day, leaving everything at home to me. I was physically and mentally exhausted, so I had to continue to work and take care of the housework.
Sometimes I wonder if I should divorce her decisively and live the rest of my life quietly by myselfBut I know that with my daughter's character, she will definitely be sad to hear that we are divorced. I really couldn't bear to make my daughter sad, so I had to continue to live with Qin Xiaolan.
Actually, I think an incongruous marriage can really torment people. Especially since the age difference between me and Qin Xiaolan is so big, the relationship is no longer on the same channel now. I always feel that my youth has been taken away by her, and my married life is in name only. Every time I think about it, I regret it.
I often recall the first time I met her. If I had firmly rejected her, would my life have been completely different?Maybe I've found a partner who really loves me and live a loving life now!
Alas, in life, the most terrible thing is regret. I don't know what I'm going to do in the future. Sometimes I really want to start over and choose a better partner for me to marry. But I can't turn back the clock, and I can only continue to endure. Let's wait and see!