1 Today I took the baby out to play, and I saw an old grandmother with a child selling vegetables in the market. I said to the baby: You see that grandma is so hard, and she has to take the baby with her while selling vegetables. The baby saidI'm so tired, too. I asked curiously. You're so tired. I'm going to hold my mother's hand and go shopping. Can you not get tired?!
2 and boyfriend's birthday, think about the two of them have been in love for many years, and my boyfriend has always been very responsible. On the occasion of his birthday dinner, I mustered up the courage to say to him: "Hey, you can eat later, today is your birthday, I can meet all the conditions you proposed." The boyfriend's eyes lit up: "Really?".I want to stop talking to you after I get home from dinner tonight.,I want to play a game all night?I took a deep breath, squinted my eyes and puffed out my chest, and said shyly, "It can be more than that." My boyfriend gritted his teeth, looked at me with a yearning look and said, "I want to rush another 500 yuan into it!.""I ......These two goods, wooden heads!
3. Yesterday morning, my wife came back from buying steamed buns on the street and complained to me, "Alas, it takes so much effort to buy a few steamed buns."
I asked, "What's wrong?""The two new girls in the bun shop on the street are not serious goods at first glance, they are so exposed, and a large number of wild bees and butterflies are around to buy buns, which makes the old lady have a good meal.
In fact, my wife is also very hard, I want to share it for her, so I got up early this morning to buy buns, but, **there are scantily dressed** girls?I came back from buying steamed buns, and my wife was still sleeping in bed.
4. My little niece also just started kindergarten and asked me after school in the afternoon, "Auntie, do you know which three animals are the highest together?"”
I thought for a moment, then said, "Elephants, giraffes, and pythons are stacked on top of each other. ”
The niece shook her head and said, "No, no, no." ”
I asked, "What's that?"”
The niece smiled and said, "It's a pig, a she-wolf and a hornet, and it's a pig-she-wolf hornet, Mount Everest!"”
5The old man said to his child, "Clench your fists and tell me how you feel."The child clenched his fists: "A little tired!."Old man: "Try to push harder!."Child: "I'm more tired!."Hold your breath a little!Old man: "Then you just let it go!."The child exclaimed, "It's much easier!."Old man: "When you feel tired, the tighter you clench, the more tired you get, let it go, you can be much relieved!.""What a simple truth.
6 My goal in life is to buy a house in the Third Ring Road of Beijing when I am 30 years old. Now I'm halfway there: I'm thirty years old.
7. I quarreled with my wife and had a cold war. Today, I received a text message from my mother saying that she liked a brand of down jacket and asked me to pay 2,000 yuan.
Thinking about the New Year, it is time to do your filial piety, and not to mention calling the designated card number ......
I will receive my wife's ** in new clothes and her smug smile. What's ?...... situationWhen did my wife change her name to my mother in my **?My heart is bleeding, it's all my private money!
8After working the night shift, I walked back to the rental house with my female colleagues while chatting, keeping an appropriate distance. At this time, a motorcycle roared towards us, and I took my female colleague in my arms and was about to scold, but I saw the driver leave a meaningful smile and leave the dust......The next moment, there was a big slap in the face, and the female colleague also left ......Brother, you did your best, but you were discovered.
9 Just now on the bus, a girl tripped over me, she didn't apologize, and rolled her eyes at me.
But I saw that she was a beautiful woman, so I asked, "Girl, do you have a boyfriend?"”
She was so shy that she said weakly, "People are still single." ”
Without the slightest hesitation, I threw her to the ground: "....How dare you be so crazy without a boyfriend?Apologize to me!”
100,If someone takes a picture and posts it on the Internet, do you think I can say it clearly?
A pregnant woman got on the bus, walked up to a young man, and stood holding him in his seat. The young man looked around, then continued to play with his phone. After a while, the young man said to the pregnant woman, "Why don't you go and sit there?"The pregnant woman replied, "It's okay, I just want to stand." "Can you stay away from me, then?""Why?"If someone takes a picture and posts it on the Internet, do you think I can explain it clearly?”