Etiquette has been a unique landscape in Chinese culture since ancient times, and the traditional "exchange of courtesies" makes people closer to each other, but not all forms of etiquette are worth following. In some situations, we should stick to our bottom line and choose wisely not to participate, because these forms of etiquette have no substance.
Sui Gift was originally a way for people to convey their emotions and enhance their feelings. However, on some occasions, the meaning of this tradition seems to have been distorted.
For example, some people hype up a big eventInvite relatives and friends from all walks of life to participate, but when others need them, they choose to turn a blind eye. This kind of behavior is like "meat buns beating dogs", it seems that under the appearance of kindness and care, there is self-interest and indifference.
There's nothing wrong with hosting an event in itself, but the problem is the motivations of the organizers. They may only value what they get and be indifferent to what others give. This kind of one-way giving is actually a kind of hypocritical emotional exchange, like a castle in the air without substance.
What's even more frustrating is that some people seem to be Xi to this kind of behavior. They take this one-way giving for granted, not even realizing that their actions can hurt others.
During celebrations and anniversaries, we often look forward to sharing joy and blessings with family and friends. However, some people see these beautiful occasions as a way to make a personal profit. They make up all sorts of seemingly legitimate reasonsThe so-called celebration is actually just to get some gift money.
This act is not meant to be commemorated or celebrated, but rather to turn affection and affection into a means of business transaction. For example, someone may host a celebration party because of their child's excellent test results, but in reality it is just to take advantage of the opportunity to receive gift money. This kind of hypocritical celebration is nothing more than a disguise for business transactions, using family affection as a tool for profit.
There is a lack of sincerity behind this kind of behavior, and only the pursuit of profit and monetary gain. On these occasions, what should have been a moment of emotional resonance and sincere blessing is distorted by this commercial approach. Such a gift is not a sincere blessing, but is blinded by money and lacks a real emotional connection.
When someone you haven't been in touch for a long time suddenly contacts you and says they want to get married or hold an event, it often triggers inner turmoil. This long-term estrangement has caused the two sides to lose their once sincere feelings. Simply for the sake of spectacle or just nostalgia, participating in such events does not make up for the lost emotional communication of the year.
This long-term estrangement has gradually weakened the relationship between the two parties. After all, a truly solid relationship takes time and regular communication between both parties.
When someone you haven't been in touch with for a long time suddenly contacts you and asks you to participate in a personal celebration, although you are entangled, you know very well in your heart that this kind of participation cannot go back to the sincerity and intimacy of the beginning. After years or even decades, these long-estranged relationships have long since lost their former communication and emotional connections.
In this case,Participating in such a celebration again does not make up for the lost emotional exchange. Because this emotion has faded over time. In order to maintain a stable relationship, it does take time to accumulate and sincere communication between both parties, and long-term estrangement will only make the relationship more indifferent.
Sometimes, it is also a courtesy not to receive an invitation to a banquet. When we find that we are not on the banquet list, we don't have to force it or go on our own. This doesn't mean it's left out, but it may be a deliberate choice made by the other party on the invitation list.
In this case, it does not mean that you have any disagreements or conflicts with the organizersIt's a decision made by the other person after considering the closeness between you. Maybe in their minds, this event isn't the right occasion for you, or maybe they want it to be more private.
Maintaining self-esteem is not about asking for trouble or doubting your friendship, but about accepting and respecting the other person's decision rationally. In some cases, those who have not been invited may have more personal time or a more appropriate way to spend time with friends or family. Not only does this make the event easier, but it also makes everyone feel more comfortable.
In the world of etiquette, sincerity and two-way giving are the cornerstones of building strong relationships. What we need to learn is to maintain our bottom line and not be swayed by hypocrisy. This means that we should not make unnecessary sacrifices to save faceInstead, you should stick to a sincere attitude and only give for the relationships that really matter.
Etiquette is not a response to one ceremony after another, but an expression of sincere feelings. It should not be distorted by utilitarianism, nor should it be a one-sided gift. However, in reality, we are often so bound by the tradition of courtesy and exchange that we lose sight of the original intention.
Returning to the essence of etiquette means putting aside superficial red tape, treat others sincerely, and not be bound by social Xi. This kind of sincerity can truly convey the emotional temperature and make the interpersonal relationship more beautiful and real.
In front of the door of etiquette, there is sometimes a need to choose to refuse. Etiquette that has no substance does not really bring people closer together, but can bring annoyance and unpleasantness. Therefore, insisting on sincerity and maintaining a reasonable attitude of refusal is a necessary means to protect yourself in interpersonal interactions.
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