"I have a classmate who I don't often contact is getting married and has told me to go to the wedding. ”I believe that everyone has encountered this kind of thing in daily life, and people who don't usually have much contactSuddenly, I informed myself that I was going to a wedding or a full moon wine for my child.
However, because I haven't been in touch for a long time, I don't know if this gift should be followedIf you follow it, you will not feel comfortable, and if you don't follow it, you will not be able to lose this face.
But in fact, not all gifts have to be followed.
Gifts were originally a way to express blessings and friendship, and on festive occasions, we will voluntarily send a heart to celebrate birthdays, marriages, children** and other beautiful momentsThis is a beautiful custom.
However, with the development of society, people's pace of life has accelerated, and the time spent with each other has decreased, and some people have taken the opportunity to hold various banquets in order to maintain interpersonal relationships, but this behavior is often out of improper motives.
For example, when the neighbor's eldest son was admitted to university, she immediately contacted relatives and friends and held a celebration banquet with great fanfare.
In fact, it is already very common to go to college, but she wants to take this opportunity to collect money, and even some people do have happy events in their families, and they will deliberately exaggerate and deliberately manipulate themUnder the guise of "sincere sharing", they are actually calculating how much money they can make behind their backs.
In fact, their motive is very simple, they just want everyone's courtesy.
Of course, there are some people who are even more unscrupulous, and they don't even bother to make up excuses, and directly make demands.
There are even more ruthless people, who will deliberately and frequently engage to get married and divorced, and entertain a circle of people to "witness" each timeIn fact, I just want to collect more gift money.
What's even more outrageous is that some people will ask relatives and friends to give gifts for various strange reasons, such as children who can say the first word, second marriage and third marriage, and they must notify relatives to hold a banquetThere are also people who send invitations everywhere for small family gatherings, asking friends to give gifts.
The purpose of these people is obvious, that is, to find ways to make money through various names.
In the face of such behavior, we must learn to distinguish between truth and falsehood.
If it's just to maintain friendship, we don't have to worry too much, but if it's obvious that it's bad intentions to collect moneyWe should resolutely refuse, and it is better to point out the problem in person and stop such behavior.
Because indulging in them will not only hurt us, but also corrupt the social atmosphere.
Attending a friend's wedding reception and birthday party can strengthen the friendship between each other and bring the relationship closer.
However, if you do not receive an invitation, it is more rude to prepare gifts and red envelopes to participateThis kind of behavior can easily make the host of the banquet feel inexplicable and embarrassed.
For example, you hear that an old classmate has got engaged and is holding an engagement banquet in a hotel.
However, you didn't receive the invitation, but you took the initiative to get in and prepared a valuable rice cooker as a gift.
At this time, if you appear at the wedding reception, it will be very embarrassing for both parties.
Of course, there are some people whose purpose is not pureThe reason why they would take the initiative to go to the banquet that they were not invited to was just to be able to eat and drink white food.
Such people usually do not prepare any gifts, they only go purely to fill their stomachs, which is even more offensive and seriously spoils the atmosphere of the banquet.
There are also some friends or classmates who have not been in touch for a long time, and they will suddenly call you when they are in need.
For example, ask you to be his best man when you get married, or ask you to help set up the venue on your birthday.
However, if you think about it normally, the relationship between a friend who has not been in touch for a few years has long been indifferent, and even if he invites you to a wedding banquet or birthday party, you do not necessarily have to go.
Therefore, to participate in a friend's festive banquet, both parties need to consider the problem from the other's point of view.
If you don't get a formal invitation, it is recommended that you don't go up on your own, and it's never too late to have a chance to exchange gifts, and you don't have to force yourself to attend a banquet that you haven't been invited.
Wasting money is just scratching the surface, and what is really scary is being exploited and blinded.
The masses who have not been in touch for a long time are suddenly courteous, it turns out that there is another happy event, I hope you can pay for it-This kind of "meat bun beating dog" kind of casual gift may have become the norm in the circle of friends.
But have we ever thought about whether it is reasonable to blindly follow the courtesy?What is the true meaning of the gift?
For example, the wedding and funeral between colleagues in the company are here today, and tomorrow they will not know where to go.
Think about it, even if you give gifts like water, the other party may not remember youEven if I remember, I'm afraid I won't be able to get that big back.
In fact, the meaning of the gift should not be to maintain a superficial relationship, but to express sincere blessings.
For those who are not familiar with you or may never return, we don't have to force it, and the money saved is better to leave it to the people who really matter, such as old friends who have been with you for many years.
We often say that treating people with sincerity can only be exchanged for true affection, and unilateral dedication often fails to reap the rewards of friendship.
The gift was originally intended to be a blessing and a comfort, but some people made it utilitarian, and we were disappointed.
In the face of those who chase interests, we can choose to politely declineAvoid being the object of their exploitation.
There are some things that money can't measure, and the friends who understand you and help you are far more valuable than perfunctory "friends".
Besides, the true meaning of life should not be false and wronged, what we need is to communicate sincerely, not to use and calculate, and not to let the circle of friends become a place to show off and hide interests.
When people you haven't been in touch with for a long time come back and ask you to pay, you can say no.
Gifts do not measure the quality of a friendship, and we should cherish those confidants who will never leave us.
They spontaneously reach out when we are in trouble, and when we are discouraged,They will encourage us to regain our faith. This is the kind of friendship that we should take care of.
Those who cherish the present, live in the moment, and accompany you are true friends.
In the past, class reunions were always full of enthusiasm and anticipation.
After graduation, everyone goes their separate ways, and it is the norm to gather less and leave more.
However, some students will suddenly contact you when they get married, have children, or encounter difficulties, and send you gifts, hoping that you will come to the party.
In the face of such invitations and gifts, it is indeed embarrassing, on the one hand, the former friendship of classmates is still there, which makes people unbearable to refuse, on the other hand, people who have not been in contact for a long time are estranged, and it is difficult to have too much communication when they go.
What's more, after participating, the other party ignored you the whole time, and they didn't even recognize you when they metJust to receive your gift money.
Some of your classmates are even more opportunists, who never contact you and suddenly think of you when they need help.
For example, a classmate has not been in touch for many years, and suddenly gives a gift to you to ask you to do something, and after you are embarrassed to refuse, he immediately turns his face and denies the account, and the relationship between the two parties breaks down, such examples abound.
There are also some students who will contact you "if you have something to do", and let you cheer you every time there is a happy eventBut I never participate in your weddings and funerals.
Over time, you became a free "wedding attendant" for those classmates.
Therefore, in the face of gifts and invitations from old classmates who have not been in touch for a long time, we must calmly analyze.
If you are specifically contacted just to receive a gift money, you can decline outrightAfter all, it is not sincere to suddenly think of you when making money.
But if the other person really needs to ask for help from you, you can also give appropriate help according to the actual situation, but you don't have to force yourself to attend various meetings.
Friendship needs to be accumulated, and it is difficult to regain it if you don't contact for a long time, so we should cherish the confidants and friends we have been in contact with, rather than being blinded by the past classmates.
Rather than barely making ends meet, people who have lost touch don't sacrifice their time, money, and energy for weddings, funerals, and other events.
In the face of a request for gift money from friends or relatives who have not been in contact for a long time, you can confidently decline.
After all, people who really have fellowship will not suddenly lose contact and suddenly get close, and it is not immoral to protect themselvesRather, it is necessary self-protection.
In general, we should approach every opportunity to give gifts with a sincere heart, pay attention to the needs of others and do our best to help.
Of course, we should also stick to our own principles and bottom line, and not be easily swayed by negative emotions such as the so-called "good face" and "comparison heart".
Only in this way can our gifts truly achieve the purpose of passing on love and enhancing friendshipMake our relationships better.
However, in reality, with the development of society and the difference of personal values, people's attitudes towards casual etiquette are also constantly changingSome people see it as a social pressure, and some even see it as a burden.
So, how to correctly view and deal with the issue of Sui Rite in modern society?This is a question worth pondering.