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When it comes to older leftover women, many different opinions emerge from both men and women. Some people think that leftover women are too picky, some people think that they have been single for a long time because they are not in a hurry to get married, and some people even assert that they have low eyes and no one wants to marry them at all.
In general, the topic of leftover women is always easy to arouse heated discussions. Perhaps the current marriage market does exert too much pressure on older leftover women.
However, are there really so many older leftover women who can't get married?Actually, it's not what people generally believe. A considerable number of leftover women have the ability to think independently, and they are not worried about marriage.
As Ma Yili said in a program recording:
Many men are really not independent, there are too many mothers and mothers, and women with real independent personalities are not looked down upon, so women are not easy to marry, and women are too good. ”
In fact, more and more older unmarried women are showing independence. For example, my friend Miss Lin is a high-quality older leftover girl.
Miss Lin said many times: "It's not that I don't want to get married, I want to get married in my heart, but there are too few high-quality men, they can't afford to marry me, and I can't end up being single casually." ”
Ms. Lin is 36 years old, has a postgraduate degree in economics, and works in a foreign-funded enterprise with a monthly salary of 30,000 yuan. Outwardly, she is definitely a woman with outstanding appearance, and she is also very popular in the workplace.
However, such an excellent woman is facing the urging of her family and the eyes of the people around her in her hometown because she is unmarried.
Every time she goes home, it is a kind of torture for Miss Lin. Others always look at her with ridicule, and even say that she is almost forty years old and has not yet married, probably because she can't find a partner.
Ms. Lin felt aggrieved by this, and she believed that marriage required equal status for both parties. If there is no man with good conditions, how can she marry casually.
In fact, marriage is essentially an equivalent exchange. If there is a large gap between the two parties to the marriage, a certain degree of harmony cannot be achieved at all.
Miss Lin said: "My requirement for the other half is to at least have a common language and be on the same channel ideologically, otherwise they can't even talk about common topics, and life will become too boring." ”
In terms of economy, Miss Lin said frankly: "I don't necessarily have to marry a millionaire, but a man's monthly salary must be at least the same as mine, and I really can't accept less than 30,000 yuan." ”
In this way, Miss Lin has been on the blind date, but she has not been able to meet a high-quality man, and marriage still seems to be out of reach.
Miss Lin once shared her blind date experience, which made her feel very disappointed. When she set foot in the marriage market, she found that most of the men who came on a blind date were ordinary and did not match her.
Miss Lin said that once she met a man on a blind date, he was a manager of a company, and the first meeting made a good impression, but after chatting for less than ten minutes, she lost interest.
The man showed a sense of superiority in front of her, as if he was very successful, showing off his RV or showing off his job, and saying that he had hundreds of thousands of savings.
However, when Ms. Lam discussed his future plans with him, he had no plans. More importantly, Miss Lin wanted to talk to him about his thoughts and pursuits, but the other party was speechless and seemed to lack knowledge.
Therefore, Miss Lin can see that this man has no cultural background at all, the connotation is insufficient, and they are not on the same channel at all in their thinking.
So, Miss Lin refused without hesitation: "I'm sorry, we don't seem to be suitable, you better find another woman." ”
Unexpectedly, the man looked very angry and sneered: "It's really hard to find a woman of your age, don't put on too high a posture, be careful that you can't marry for the rest of your life." ”
In this regard, Miss Lin is even more determined that this man is not cultivated enough and is not worth dating. She didn't argue and soon left.
Miss Lin also mentioned another blind date, and the introducer took her to meet a man, who turned out to be an ordinary part-time worker, graduated from a college degree, and had a monthly salary of less than 10,000 yuan, which made her a little disappointed.
Miss Lin said frankly: "I really don't look down on people who work part-time, after all, I also work outside, but your situation really doesn't seem to suit me, and you may not be able to marry me." ”
At that time, the man was a little embarrassed and couldn't help but ask Miss Lin: "What kind of man do you think can afford to marry you?"”
Miss Lin replied politely: "I don't ask for money and materials, but the other party's ideology, character and economic conditions need to be consistent with mine, and the gap cannot be too big." ”
After hearing this, the man said: "I know that you have high requirements, although I do not have a high education and do not have a high monthly salary, it does not mean that I am poor." ”
Miss Lin hurriedly explained: "It's not that I look down on you, it's just that I hope to find a man with excellent conditions who matches me." ”
The man was no longer entangled, and the two separated. After this blind date, Miss Lin lost interest in blind dates, and she thought that there were really few men in the marriage market who could afford to marry her.
Tofuller once said, "When poverty comes in the door, love slips through the window." ”
This sentence may be distressing, but it reflects the reality of the current marriage market. If a man does not have good economic conditions, it may be really difficult to find a suitable partner.
Although money is not everything, the financial situation is an unavoidable obstacle when it comes to choosing a partner. How many loving couples end up losing to money and material pressures.
For Miss Lin, I understand her persistence. After all, it's really hard for a good and independent woman to get married.
In her opinion, she needs to find a partner who matches her in character, mind, and economic conditions.
Perhaps, for high-quality leftover women, they pay more attention to the spiritual fit with the other half, even more than the consideration of economic conditions.
As female star Yu Feihong said in a show:
I never wanted to live alone, but I had a hunch that I would marry later. A woman should marry the person she loves, not at a specific time. I'm still waiting for someone who is in tune with my soul. ”
Whether it is a celebrity or an ordinary older leftover girl in life, they may pay more attention to the ideological fit with the other half.
Bacon once said, "Love and wisdom cannot be both." ”
I think there is some philosophical truth to this statement. If a woman falls in love, she may compromise and stop thinking about marriage so rationally.
On the contrary, a wise woman will not compromise on love, let alone on the issue of marriage, and it will be difficult to overcome that hurdle.
In reality, high-quality older leftover women usually have higher educational qualifications, are very intelligent, and are very rational about their feelings, which is why it is difficult for them to get married.
Just like Miss Lin, she doesn't only care about the man's economic conditions, but also cares about whether the other party can match her heart. If the other person does not meet this standard, she may prefer to be single.
In relationships, there is no right or wrong. Miss Lin may not be wrong, people need to treat these high-quality leftover women like them correctly.
In fact, if an older leftover woman gets married in a hurry because of her age, she is likely to regret it in the future, and even lead to disharmony in the marriage.
Most of the women who have married in life but have not been able to grow old together have a feeling that they would rather be single if they could choose again.
This feeling is mainly due to the fact that the marriage did not meet their expectations and made them feel disappointed.
Therefore, women are different from men, and it is difficult for them to really compromise. Men may be able to lower their conditions and postures, while women always want to raise their standards and are not willing to grieve themselves.
This is the contradiction in mate selection. Many leftover women are still unmarried, most likely because they find it difficult for them to accept lower standards.
However, I still want to remind the older leftover women in reality that if you really want to get married, it is not recommended to keep delaying. Women really don't procrastinate easily.
And, if you ask that marriage is an equivalent exchange, then you also have the value of letting the man choose.
In the eyes of men, a woman's age and fertility conditions may be an insurmountable obstacle for you, and I hope you can reflect on it.