My name is Xiao Ming, I am 35 years old this year, and I have been married to my wife Xiaohong for 5 years. The two of us have known each other since we were in college, and we naturally came together after graduation. Xiaohong is a gentle and virtuous woman, and I feel very happy to marry her.
After we got married, we both got jobs in the city. I work as a programmer in a foreign company, and Xiaohong works as a teacher in a middle school. We worked hard, bought a two-bedroom house, and lived an ordinary but good life.
At this time, Xiaohong's mother, Aunt Wang, came to our house as a guest and said that she wanted to stay in our house for a long time. I immediately felt a big alarm in my heart, because Aunt Wang has a strong personality and will tell us about our lives every time she comes before. Xiaohong and I have only been married for a long time, and we still need personal space. So when I heard the news, I was a little displeased.
Aunt Wang smiled and said, "My good daughter, I don't feel tired when I see you." Come, let Mom hug you. ”
I stood aside and said with a smile: "Aunt Wang, you have worked hard, and you are welcome to come and sit at our house." ”
Aunt Wang gave me a blank look and said, "Xiao Ming, I'm not here to sit this time, I'm here to stay for a long time!."”
As soon as I heard this, my heart chuckled, and the smile on my face froze. Aunt Wang continued: "I live in my hometown and no one takes care of me, so it just so happens that your house is big, let me live here." I can help with the housework and take care of your life. ”
Xiaohong said happily: "Mom, it's best for you to come and live with us!."I'll be happy to have you by my side. ”
Aunt Wang said dissatisfiedly: "Xiao Ming, I am not old enough to need someone to take care of me. I just want to come and accompany my daughter, and you won't let me”
I still want to persuade Aunt Wang again, she has already said to herself: "Okay, my stay is decided!".Xiaohong, help me carry my luggage into your room. ”
I see that Aunt Wang's attitude is so resolute, and it is not easy to say anything, so I can only endure it for the time being, and plan to talk about it later.
At dinner in the evening, I saw Aunt Wang picking and choosing our family's food, and I couldn't help but say, "Aunt Wang, we usually eat so simply, if you don't like it, go out to eat." ”
Aunt Wang was immediately unhappy, she said, "Xiao Ming, I am your mother-in-law, why are you talking to me like this?."I'm here for my daughter's good. ”
I explained, "Aunt Wang, I don't mean anything else, it's just that we are used to a simple life. Xiaohong and I are also very busy and don't have time to take care of you. ”
Do I still need you to take care of it?I just want to come here and see my daughter every day, what's not to like?Aunt Wang raised her voice.
Mom, calm down. Xiaohong persuaded her mother, and then said to me, "Husband, I know you are thinking about us, but it is not convenient for my mother to be alone in my hometown." Just let her stay for a while and see how it goes. ”
I still want to explain, but seeing that Xiaohong has already made a decision, I will no longer insist.
After dinner, Xiaohong chatted with her mother, and I went back to the bedroom alone. After closing the door, I let out a sigh of relief and thought to myself that things had turned out more than I had expected.
I understand Xiaohong's desire to accompany her mother, but I am worried that Aunt Wang's stay will affect our life as a couple. Aunt Wang has a strong personality, and every time she came to her, she had to dictate our housework, which made me very uncomfortable.
Moreover, we have only been married for 5 years, and we still need personal space and time to adapt. If we have an elder by our side every day, our lives will be greatly affected.
I don't want Aunt Wang to stay for a long time, but today I can see that directly opposing her will not work. I have to think of a way to slowly make Xiaohong aware of this problem, and then coordinate the matter of Aunt Wang moving away.
Xiao Ming, are you up?Come, I've made you breakfast. Aunt Wang showed me the food on the table.
Oh, thank you Auntie. I forced a smile.
That's what it sounds like. I see that you and Xiaohong usually eat too simple and have no nutrients. I'm here to make you something to eat. Aunt Wang said proudly.
We usually just do it ourselves, don't worry too much. "I try to be as tactful as possible.
You've only been married for a few years, so you don't know how to take care of yourself. With me here, you can work with peace of mind, and I will worry about the rest!Aunt Wang said confidently.
I could only vaguely respond a few times, but I was very helpless. I fear that if this continues, Aunt Wang will become more and more of our home and our life more and more.
In the past few days, Aunt Wang has been managing our family's life more and more. Not only does she take care of all the household chores, but she also gives us pointers on our way of life from time to time.
One day, Xiaohong and I were about to go out for a light meal, and Aunt Wang immediately said, "You have only come back for a short time, why do you want to go out to eat again?"Waste of money!Isn't the food I cooked delicious?”
I explained, "Auntie, we only go out once in a while to change the taste. ”
With me, you don't need to change your taste!Aunt Wang didn't budge, "What junk food to eat in a fast food restaurant, how unhealthy!."Obedient, they all stayed at home and ate well. ”
Xiaohong and I glanced at each other, and we both saw helplessness in each other's eyes. But in the face of my mother, we couldn't strongly oppose it, so we had to cancel the plan to go out.
A few days later, one weekend, Xiaohong and I wanted to go out to the movies and relax. After telling Aunt Wang, she was unhappy again: "You've only been working for a week, and you want to play?."Besides, what's the point of watching movies, time is wasted in the cinema!”
Mom, it's normal to watch a movie, everyone needs a pastime when they work. Xiaohong persuaded her mother.
Nope!You all keep me at home!Every day you know what it's like to play!"Aunt Wang has a tough attitude.
Xiaohong and I glanced at each other, and we both saw helplessness in each other's eyes. My husband and wife are usually busy with work, and it is rare to have some personal time to relax together. But in the face of Aunt Wang's strong style, it is difficult for us to fight.
That night, I was alone in the bedroom organizing the language, looking for an opportunity to communicate with Aunt Wang. I understand how it feels like to be a mother, but what she's doing now is going too far.
We have been married for 5 years and have our own lifestyle and philosophy, and we don't need her to supervise every day like a child. Xiaohong and I need personal space, and if Aunt Wang continues like this, it will only make our relationship more and more tense.
I decided to find an opportunity to explain our thoughts to Aunt Wang in a good but tactful way. I hope she can understand the current situation and take the initiative to give us some personal space and stop interfering too much in our home life.
I cleared my throat and said to Aunt Wang, "Auntie, I have something to say to you alone, do you have time after lunch?"”
If you have something to say, just say it, and say it alone. Aunt Wang was a little dissatisfied.
Mom, listen to your husband's opinion, he may have a hard time. Xiaohong persuaded her mother.
Okay, okay, I'll talk to him when I'm done. Aunt Wang said impatiently.
After lunch, Aunt Wang sat down in the living room, and I came to the opposite of her.
Aunt Wang, I can understand your feelings about wanting to accompany your daughter. But you've been living with us for more than a week, and there are some things I still need to talk to you about. I said as softly as I could.
You said. ”
Aunt Wang immediately said, "I'm here to take care of you!."You have only been taking care of life for a few years and have so little experience. ”
But we're also adjusting to building our own lives, and it takes time. If you are constantly meddling in our household chores and our lives, we will feel very stressed. I continued.
I'm doing this for your own good!What do you young people know, you always want me, a mother, to take care of you. Aunt Wang raised her voice.
But we also need some personal space. I understand your good intentions, but we disagree on the way. "I'm still trying to be patient.
Am I not doing it the right way?I'm your mother-in-law, and I'm here to take care of you, what else are you not satisfied with?Aunt Wang also began to get excited.
Please listen to what I have to say. I'm not dissatisfied, but we young people who just got married need something to live on to themselves. If you've been living here, we'll feel a lot of pressure. "I tried to continue to explain my thoughts.
You're trying to drive me away now, aren't you?You don't want me to live in my daughter's house, I'm so unpopular as a mother?Aunt Wang's voice increased, and her emotions became excited.
I saw that she was already emotional, and continuing to persuade might backfire, so I had to stop here and go back to the bedroom to think about the next coping strategy.
It seems that this matter cannot be solved at one time, and I need to find a more suitable time and way to make Aunt Wang aware of this problem and take the initiative to choose to leave.
In the following days, I always observed Aunt Wang's state, trying to find a time when she was calm and tried to communicate again.
One day, Aunt Wang cleaned up the housework and sat in the living room watching TV. I saw that she was in a good mood today, so I tentatively walked over and sat down next to her.
Well, it's okay, just have nothing to see. Aunt Wang said.
By the way, I mentioned some ideas to you last time, I don't know if you thought about it later. "I'm careful to bring up the topic from last time.
Aunt Wang's face immediately sank: "Don't you want me to leave?"How long have I been here, and you're going to drive me away, when I'm an outsider?”
Please listen to me first. I quickly explained, "I didn't mean to drive you away, but I felt that your long-term stay here would indeed affect my life and Xiaohong's life." It's going to put a lot of pressure on us, can you understand that?”
I'm here for your own good!What do you young people know, I have come to take care of your lives. Aunt Wang raised her voice.
But we also need to learn to take care of our own lives. If you're always there, we can't be independent. "I'm still trying to explain.
Are you independent?I think you can only play, can you do it without me?"Aunt Wang's anger has also come up.
Auntie, I don't mean anything else, it's just that we just got married and need some life of our own. If you can understand and give us some personal space, then we will appreciate it. I said as calmly as I could.
Private space?I'm your mom and still need private space?I think you're trying to drive me away!Aunt Wang said excitedly.
I just won't go!I'm going to live at my daughter's house, what qualifications do you have to chase me?"Aunt Wang's volume is getting louder and louder, and she can't listen to my explanation at all.
With that, I went back to my bedroom with a heavy heart.
Now it seems that Aunt Wang is desperately clinging to live in our house. How do I get her to understand?If the stalemate continues, the relationship between the three of us will only get more and more strained.