1 family has a little Lori, I was really annoyed by a day of entanglement, so I slapped my ass, wow wow crying, and went to the ...... to complain to her motherWiping her tears and walking around the house, she didn't find her mother, and she came back and saw me, hugging my thighs, and crying with rain: Dad, mom beat me ......I almost burst out laughing ......How forgetful this kid is......Is there still salvation?
2 During this time, as soon as I have time, I will go to the community pavilion to see those aunts and aunts playing mahjong, and sometimes I will go to play one or two rounds, and I will get acquainted with each other, and today an aunt said that she would introduce her daughter to me, so that I would let her point when I play mahjong in the future. Ouch, sure enough, life is full of surprises.
3Since my son was in first grade, my wife has to help my son with his homework every night.
Last night, it was almost ten o'clock, and after my wife explained a math problem several times, my son still scratched his head, looking like he didn't understand, and my wife suddenly got angry, only to hear a slap in my face.
I was stunned: How can you hit someone?
I only heard my wife yelling: If you don't hit anyone, I'm as stupid as you.
4 After a haircut, I met a friend downstairs in the girl, and my friend said, "Hey, guy, I'm very energetic today!."''I smiled and said, "No, it's just a cool cut!"As soon as the words fell, a girl on the second floor poked her head out and yelled at me, "Who picked the pants?".Take it out and see if it's the one I lost. ”
5 Passing by the kindergarten, eavesdropping on the conversation of two children:
The first child said, "Why are children picky eaters, but why aren't parents picky eaters?"”
The second child said, "They buy what they like, what kind of food do they choose?"”
I was petrified in an instant, and it was the truth!
6 There was a little mouse that got lost in the forest, and it met a big bad wolf, and when the big bad wolf was about to eat it, a tiger suddenly appeared, and the big bad wolf was scared away, and the little mouse breathed a sigh of relief, and said to the tiger, "Thank you for saving me, and I will repay you." The tiger said coldly, "You're welcome, I've already had lunch." ”
7. A roommate couldn't sleep in the middle of the night and smoked at the bedside, but the next day, another roommate with 500 myopia said to him: I saw you grinding your teeth and grinding out sparks last night!
8 and girlfriends shopping came back late, my husband and children have finished eating, I didn't eat, don't say, I was really hungry after shopping for a long time, I devoured it, my husband gently reminded next to me: drink soup, drink some soup, don't just eat, drink soup, just want to serve a bowl after eating, my husband said: There is no rice, so let you drink soup and drink soup, don't just eat.
9 Walking on campus alone, I found that there were a lot of ugly girls and handsome guys, and I suddenly felt very heartbroken, why didn't I have it?It's not fair, I'm uglier than them.
10In a small mountain village, an old man was celebrating his 100th birthday. When asked by a TV reporter what the secret of his longevity was, the old man said, "I'm afraid it will take me three days to tell you." Now I'm negotiating with two advertising agencies: one suggested that I say mineral water, and the other asked me to say it's beer. ”
11A child asked a rich man, "Sir, why are you so rich?"The rich man said, "When I was young, I had nothing like you, and my father gave me an apple, so I sold that apple, and with the money I earned I bought two more apples, and then sold it for four more apples." The child thoughtfully said, "Sir, I seem to understand." Mr. Rich: "What do you know......Then my dad died, and I inherited all his inheritance!”
12 Don't say it, the child is still a little useful at a critical moment.
My parents were cold, no one paid attention to anyone, and I became extra careful at home. Helplessly, I still can't change my fate, and my dad found an excuse to beat me up in order to break the game....My mom finally jumped up and scolded my dad, and my dad took the opportunity to apologize to my mom, and the two got back together. Afterwards, my mother sighed: Don't say it, this child is still a little useful at a critical moment.