Mom and Dad, as the most intimate existence in a child's life, their love is selfless and deep. Sometimes, however, accusatory love can give a child a feeling of suffocation. Why is that?Let's take a look.
1. The manifestation of accusatory love.
Blaming love usually manifests itself as excessive intervention and criticism of the child's behavior by parents. This love may stem from parents expecting too much from their children, or because they are worried that their children will make mistakes or go the wrong way. However, this style of love often makes children feel constrained and unable to express their thoughts and emotions freely.
In pedagogy, there is a concept called:Blaming parentsThey will be picky in everything and will only notice the child's mistakes. And such parents are a disaster for their children's lives. I saw a girl on the InternetIn order to surprise my mother, I cooked four dishes by myselfBut when the girl was full of anticipation, she could see her mother's smile and hear her mother's praise. Mom asked coldly, "Do I want to praise you?"You cook so many dishes with me at noon, how can we both eat?”Then the mother posted the ** on the Internet and complained: "The lunch made by my fourteen-year-old daughter was made for me at eleven o'clock!."Should I be commended?It's going to be wasted again!"Such a mother is an accusatory mother!Always hit your family, or your children, to get your own satisfaction!
2. The negative effects of blaming love.
There is a concept in clinical psychology called "verbal abuse", also known as "** psychological violence". Sending harsh or nasty words to your child is hurting your child. Many people will as adultsModerate depression and severe anxiety. And **, all of them come from the constant harshness and ridicule of the father or mother when growing up.
1.Limit your child's growth
Accusatory love can make children feel that their behavior is always limited by their parents, so that they are afraid to try new things or challenge themselves. This restriction can cause children to lose their self-confidence and courage, hindering their growth and development.
2.Destroying the parent-child relationship.
Children who have been criticized for a long time may be resistant to their parents, and even rebellious. This disruption of the parent-child relationship will not only affect the mental health of the child, but also the harmony of the family atmosphere.
3.Hinders the child's emotional expression.
Accusatory love can make children feel that their emotional expression is suppressed. They may hide their true thoughts and feelings so as not to attract criticism or accusations from their parents. This impediment to emotional expression can have a negative impact on a child's emotional well-being.
3. How to avoid blame-based love
1.Respect your child's personality and wishes.
Every child is a unique individual who has their own personality and will. Mom and dad should respect their children's individuality and wishes, and give them enough freedom and space to explore and develop themselves.
2.Adjust expectations.
Parents and families should adjust their expectations according to the actual situation of their children, and do not ask too much of their children. At the same time, it is also necessary to understand that children's growth requires time and patience, and it is necessary to face the challenges and difficulties on the road of growth with children.
3.Learn to listen and understand.
When a child encounters a problem or makes a mistake, parents should learn to listen and understand their child's thoughts and feelings. By listening and understanding, mom and dad can better understand their children's needs and confusions, which can lead to more effective guidance and support.
4.Encourage your child to express their opinions and feelings.
Children should be encouraged to express their opinions and feelings, giving them a voice and a choice. This will increase your child's confidence and independence, as well as improve communication and understanding between parents and children.
4. Summary and reflection
Although accusation love is based on the original intention of love, it brings a sense of bondage and suffocation to children. We should respect our children's personality and wishes, adjust our expectations, learn to listen and understand our children, and encourage them to express their opinions and feelings. Only in this way can we give our children a healthy, free and happy environment to grow up in, so that they can thrive in the sunshine of love. At the same time, as parents, we should constantly reflect on whether our education methods are appropriate and whether they bring real happiness and growth to our children.