1. I went to his friend's hometown with a friend for dinner, and the traffic exploded, so bored. Ask their children: "Kids, would you like to tell your brother the wifi password?"The child lowered his head and played, "Call Dad" I saw that there was no one left and right, and gritted my teeth and shouted: "Dad!".The child said, "Huh??."Our family name is Jiao, Ji
2 sister said, "Hello, uncle, can I be your girlfriend?"The uncle said: "Little girl, you are so young and beautiful, besides, from the time you talked to me to now, we have known each other for less than ten seconds, you don't know me well at all, you want to be my girlfriend?."The girl said calmly: I know my uncle for less than ten seconds, but I have known the sports car under my eldest brother for almost five years, and I know the roots!
3. A few days ago, the factory organized a physical examination for employees.
After the report came out, I said to my colleague across the desk, "I don't like sweets, I eat average, and my eating habits are quite healthy, so how can I have high blood sugar?"
Everyone was babbling to help me analyze the reason, and a female colleague interjected, "Is it because the little sisters in our office are too sweet?"”
4 One day in class, the same table secretly played with mobile phones, and was discovered by the head teacher who was patrolling outside the classroom. The head teacher took out his mobile phone and sent a message: Why don't you listen carefully?The table mate replied suspiciously: Who are you?The head teacher sent another message: Look out the window. The same table glanced out the window and replied: Thank you for the reminder, let's talk later, our homeroom teacher is staring outside the window!
5 The girl woke up and played with her mobile phone, and received a message from the boy: I was going to confess to the person I liked, and the girl's heart ached violently, and she replied with a message: Go, good luck. The boy replied: But I don't have the courage to say no, I'm afraid of being beaten!Girl: It's okay, I believe you!By this time, the girl was already crying sadly. Boy: I'm already at her door, and I'm afraid to knock. The girl wiped her tears: Don't be afraid, you are a good person, and there will be good rewards. Boy: Then you can open the door, I'm at your door. The girl hurriedly ran to open the door, and the moment she saw him, her sad tears turned into emotion, and the boy said Is it okay to lend me your motorcycle?I rode my bike a bit far to her house!
6 My husband was going on a business trip, and before leaving, he jokingly said to his wife: In case I die and can't come back, you can find a good man to remarry. The wife said: Don't worry, I have already found it, just waiting for you to die!
7 Today, Wu Lao Er finally woke up naturally, he stretched his waist, looked at the woman next to him, and said with a smile: "Hi!."I don't know your name yet. ”
I don't know what your name is, but I know you're going to be hung up. The invigilator took away his blank paper.
8. The tortoise wants to race against the rabbit. The rabbit disdained and said, the reason why your ancestors won us once was because they took advantage of the loophole, don't be delusional. The tortoise grinds hard and hard, but the rabbit still doesn't give it a chance. In the end, the turtle threw out a dozen hundred-dollar bills and said, "This is your appearance fee!".The rabbit suddenly smiled: Master Turtle, I will run as much as you ask me to run. Turtle: Huh!I'm the turtle that won your ancestors!
9 The hostess of the neighbor's house was a ** doctor, and I knocked on her door in the middle of the night. "Excuse me, how much do you pay to beat a child here?"Ordinary people ask for eight hundred, and if you say so, you can take five hundred." After listening to this, I counted out five hundred dollars from my purse and handed it to her, then grabbed her child, picked up a stick, and pumped it on the buttocks of this bear child who threw firecrackers on my balcony in the middle of the night!
10. What are the conditions for you to find a partner?
My cousin came to play at home, and my husband, who loves to write, was concerned about my cousin's love problem and asked: Sister, you are so old, what are the conditions for you to find a partner?I'll see if there's a suitable one for you to introduce. My cousin teased: My requirements are not high: the man must have a beautiful face like an actor, a strong physique like an athlete, a knowledgeable researcher like a researcher, a home furnished like a garden, a bank deposit of millions of yuan, and in addition, he must be considerate of me like a waiter. My husband: Sister, it's actually good to be single!