1 I opened a room with my girlfriend today, and I was just about to speak, when the proprietress said, "Yo, the young man has changed?".I hurriedly prepared to explain ......The girlfriend said angrily: "The old lady has removed her makeup!."Let's go, husband, change places!"The hostess:"....
2. I have been interning in the company for half a year, and we have a total of three interns, and the other two have left one after another. Recently, I had nothing to do, and joked with the department manager: "I don't have any tasks here, why don't you fire me?".The manager replied, "No, there is no temporary worker, what if something happens." ”
3The wife went home with her husband, and as soon as the wife entered, she closed the door.
The husband knocked on the door and shouted, "Open the door, open the door, I haven't gone in yet!."”
The wife, who works as a bus conductor, shouted, "What's the noise?".Let's take a ride!”
4 When I was waiting for the bus today, a cute little Zhengtai kept talking to a handsome guy next to him, the handsome guy was annoyed and ignored him, Xiao Zhengtai said: Uncle, the last question, a boat can only seat four people, four policemen take a bad guy on the boat together, why didn't the boat sink?The handsome guy ignored him, Xiao Zhengtai turned around and asked me, I thought about it for a while, I'll go! !The bus is waiting for me!!
5. A very famous writer wants to visit the bookstore. Flattered, the bookstore owner hurriedly removed all the books and replaced them with the author's books. When the writer came to the bookstore, he was very happy and asked, "Do you only sell my own books?""Of course not. The bookstore owner replied, "The other books are selling well, and they are all sold out." ”
6 In the morning, I went to visit the antique market, and an eldest sister mysteriously took a bronze wrapped in a red cloth to show me, saying that it was handed down by my ancestors, and I was in a hurry to sell it with money I pointed to the stall next door and asked: Eldest sister, your two ancestors are in the last family?The eldest sister smiled shyly, "I'm sorry, the purchase is a duplicate of the same."
7. There is a vegetable patch in front of my grandfather's house, and the vegetables grow well, but there are too many birds, so they always come to eat.
My grandfather said to go to the vegetable field to bomb the birds, and my three-year-old nephew jumped up and said I'll go, I'll go!I didn't come back after going for a while, and my grandfather went out to look, and I saw my little nephew holding a big brick outside the vegetable garden, and his face was full of praise on my expression: I smashed all the birds away!
Well, the birds did run away, and the greens were smashed!
8 A group of scientists was conducting insect research in the countryside and met an old farmer. The scientist happily asked, "Uncle farmer, do you know anything about insects?"The old peasant replied with a serious face: "Yes, yes!."I knew that there were mosquitoes biting, flies making noise, and bees stinging. The scientists smiled awkwardly: "Well, you know it well." ”
9 "There is a big pit, hundreds of meters deep, you jump down, is there any way to get out?".”
I don't need anything else, just a needle, a hole in my head, a hole in my head, and a hole in my head that fills the hole, and I can swim up. ”
How can there be so much water in the head?”
There is not so much water in the head, why jump into such a deep pit?”
10A beautiful saleswoman came to her door to sell laundry products and was a great success. When someone asked her for sales skills, she said, "It's easy." I went to visit when both husband and wife were at home, explained their intentions to the husband, and explained the performance and features of the product in detail. Finally, tell him that he doesn't have to buy it right away, but can wait until the next time. At this time, the hostess next to me often showed a positive attitude and hurriedly bought my things. ”
11Turn on the computer to write something, the first word is typed "no", but it always shows "Pi", no matter how you try.
In the end, after four or five minutes of tossing, I used my wits to find out the root cause: who turned on the underline state!
12I saw an old man haggling in the antique city, and I was stunned!Buy an ancient coin or something, and ask, "How much?"”
Stallholder: "300,000." ”
Old man: "Is 20 yuan okay?"”
Stallholder: "Add 5 yuan and take it." ”
13What should you do if you find out that your husband has cheated on you?
Today is a look at what domineering is!A man asked his daughter-in-law, what if you find out that I have betrayed you?His daughter-in-law replied directly!If you dare to play betrayal with your mother, I will let you end your life!The man's face is white!