Students often ask me in private messages in the background, "Teacher, I feel that my husband has been a little abnormal recently, I suspect that he has a situation outside, I don't know if I think too much." Are there any small details that can help me determine if he is cheating?”
In fact, many men do have signs of cheating, and since you have asked this question now, it means that you should have found a trace of clues, but you can't be completely sure.
So at this time, you can verify your guess by observing some of the man's usual emotional changes and his behavior.
First of all, his heart was both excited and scared, and he was under a lot of pressure. On the one hand, he will enjoy the excitement of extramarital affairs, and the junior provides him with a lot of emotional values that his wife does not satisfy him, including physical value, etc., and this feeling of "stealing" makes him very popular.
On the other hand, he was afraid that his wife would make trouble with him after she knew that he was cheating, worried that Xiao San would force him to divorce, and worried that he would not be able to resist and would not be able to control these two women at the same time.
At the same time, he will become very sensitive and will observe his wife's reactions. If he feels that his wife is talking a little wrong, or that his attitude towards him is a little worse, he will wonder if his wife knows about his cheating. Then carefully test and confirm that the other party does not know about this matter, and the stone in your heart will fall. And then it went on and on, trembling and trembling.
Generally speaking, if a man cheats, then his mood swings must be relatively large, and his emotions are very unstable compared to before. So what are the general manifestations of men after cheating?
The first point is that it is easy to be irritable and lose your temper
Maybe he had a gentle personality before, and he was calm when talking to you, but since he cheated, his temper has become irritable and he is impatient with many things.
I often scold at home, I don't know where his temper comes from, say a few words here, say a few words there, and feel like I don't feel good about anything.
In the past, even if you made trouble with him and played a little temper, he was able to tolerate you, depending on your temperament, and he would not really get angry with you. When getting along with parents or children, he has a very good attitude, he is very gentle in front of his parents, he will obey his parents, and he is also very tolerant of his children, and he will not beat and scold his children.
But now it's especially easy to get angry and lose your temper at every turn. In the past, if the child cried, he would hug and coax him, but now he may start yelling at the child or even hitting the child because of the trivial matter of the child not eating well.
In front of his parents, he also began to talk back, and when his parents said something that made him unhappy, he immediately went back, and even sometimes lost his temper at his parents for some reason.
If you suspect that your husband is cheating and he is in such a similar situation, then you should be careful. Of course, it is not excluded that some men just have no place to vent simply because the pressure of working in the company is too great, so they have to vent to the people closest to them.
The second point is to start suppressing yourself in front of you
For example, when he often stops talking in front of you, you can clearly feel that he has something to say, but he holds back and doesn't tell you, and then it feels like he is putting up with you.
Even if you get angry with him and lose your temper, according to the characteristics of your relationship in the past, he will definitely quarrel with you, but now it's like a different person.
He doesn't even bother to argue with you, just watching you get angry alone, neither responding nor confronting you, in fact, these are manifestations of his suppression of himself.
Not only that, but he often has to suppress the happiness in his heart, which is the sense of accomplishment of having a woman outside, and he feels that he is amazing.
At the same time, Xiao San always held him, gave him care and support, showed his admiration for him, and met many of his psychological needs. He was very happy and proud, and felt that he was as attractive as he was back then.
But although he was about to be happy in his heart, he couldn't show it at home, and he couldn't let his wife find out, so he had to suppress his happiness. Even some men deliberately show that they are very unhappy and depressed in order not to let their wives find out, but in fact he is acting.
Sometimes he has a conflict with Xiao San, and the two of them quarrel, and he will be scared when facing you, very weak-hearted, for fear of being discovered by you. In short, it is all kinds of emotions that suppress himself, as long as that emotion is generated because of Xiao San, he tries to hide it as much as possible.
In the end, many wives will find out what kind of situation?It's the husband who was originally cheerful and talkative, but he doesn't like to talk much, and he always looks like he has something on his mind and is depressed.
The third point is that it suddenly starts to please you
This is a kind of compensatory psychology. Because he cheated, he knew that he had done something wrong and felt sorry for his wife, so he would tell himself in his heart: "I want to be nice to my wife".
For example, when he just came home after making out with Xiao San, he would think about buying you a bouquet of flowers, or buying a small gift, or bringing you a small cake that you liked, in short, he suddenly began to be nice to you.
There are also some men who almost don't talk much about love with their wives after they get married, but now that he has deviated, in order to hide his inner weakness, he will suddenly be very considerate to his wife, say some sweet words that he usually doesn't say at all, and be very gentle with you.
In the past, when I discussed a matter with you, I always had different opinions with you, and I was against you, and neither of the two people let anyone, but now I have begun to let you, please you, and I don't dislike you anymore, and I don't complain about you anymore, but I will follow your wishes: "My wife is the biggest, and I listen to you." ”
"If something goes wrong, there must be a demon", if your husband has suddenly changed so much, then you have to pay more attention, if he is out there.
Fourth, become apathetic
For example, he used to be a very concerned family, very optimistic and cheerful person, but now when he comes home, when you see him, he is in a very sad state, always with a drooping face, you ask him to do something, his attitude is always very indifferent.
When you play with the child, the atmosphere is very pleasant, talking and laughing, but when the child calls his father and asks him to come over to play together, he can't raise his interest, and he agrees expressionlessly, and even refuses directly: "Dad has something, you can play with your mother." ”
Even if the child has a birthday, or you have a birthday, or when you go out to see friends together, he pulls his face and looks very unhappy.
Even he didn't want to go out, didn't want to socialize with friends, for fear that his extramarital affair would be exposed by others, and then all his personalities would collapse, and he would have no place to put his face down.
If you notice that a man suddenly becomes very cold to you, you should also be careful, he may have a new love outside. Compared with Little Trinity, I feel that you are not good enough, so I don't want to stay at home anymore, and I feel tired.
To put it bluntly, there are obvious emotional changes after men cheat, and everything is traceable. If you already suspect that your husband is cheating, and at the same time, compared to before, he has these emotional changes such as irritability, depression, flattery, indifference, etc., then you must be ready to go to war.
In dealing with a man's extramarital affair, it must be discovered and solved as soon as possible, it must not be delayed, it must be resolved quickly, resolutely kill his extramarital affair, break his fantasy of a threesome, and let him return to the family obediently.
If you have specific practical questions, you can also contact the teacher at any time. Also, in my newly launched course"Settle the Affair and Rebuild the Marriage"., about extramarital affairs, there are also very systematic explanations.
There are not only rich cases to dismantle, but at the same time, the teacher will also teach you specific practical methods, teaching you how to solve the problem of men's cheating step by step and save your marriage. No matter what, the teacher hopes that you can grow yourself, love yourself well, and reap your share of happiness!
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