We've been together for many years and the relationship has always been good. But lately, we've had some contradictions. Not so long ago, we even talked about getting married.
On this day, my girlfriend and I went to a movie, and it was supposed to be a very pleasant evening. But as we walked out of the cinema, a little boy suddenly rushed over and knocked down the popcorn in my girlfriend's hand. His mom immediately ran over and apologized to us. My girlfriend looked at the popcorn on the floor, frowned, and said to the mother, "You're responsible, my clothes are dirty." ”
The mother also had an ugly face and started arguing with my girlfriend. I knew she was angry, but I thought it was a bit too much for her to quarrel with a stranger like this, so I stepped forward to persuade her. But she didn't listen to me at all, and continued to quarrel with the mother.
Eventually, the mother left with the baby in her arms, and my girlfriend went home in a huff. We started arguing on the way home, she felt that I wasn't on her side, and I felt that she was a little too angry with a stranger. We argued, and the atmosphere became awkward.
Back home, we continued to argue. She said I didn't love her enough, and I thought she was too impulsive. This argument went on for a long time, and finally we actually talked about marriage, and she said, "If you can't stand by my side at this time, what else can we talk about getting married?"”
After hearing this, I felt very uncomfortable. We've been together for a few years now, and the relationship has always been good, never thought our relationship would crack over such a small thing. She said this very seriously, and I knew that it was not a simple dispute, but a problem between us.
Our quarrel went on for a while, and I realized that it wasn't a matter of impulse, but a long-standing backlog of issues between us. She said to me, "Your attitude makes me think that our relationship may not be as strong as I thought. When I heard this, I was even more depressed, and my heart was indescribable.
After a few days, we became cold to each other. Every day, I came home feeling like I was confronted with a stranger, and she was starting to become distant. This state of affairs made me feel extremely anxious, and I tried to find an opportunity to communicate with her and digest the conflicts between us, but each time to no avail.
Until one day, she proposed to break up. I was shocked and unacceptable. We have been separated and united for many years, and our feelings have gone through ups and downs, how can we give up so easily?I didn't hesitate to hold on, hoping to regain that bond between us. But she was full of fire to express her dissatisfaction with me, and she always felt that I didn't care enough about her and didn't care enough about her. Our contradictions have become more and more intense, and we have constant quarrels.
At this sensitive time, I suddenly received a job offer. This job is a big opportunity for me, but if I accept it, it means that I need to leave the city and leave her. I was in a dilemma. I talked to her about the conflict between us, and told her about this opportunity, I thought she would understand my predicament, but she thought I was running away from the problem between us.
And deep down, I also began to think about the problems between us. Maybe she's right, but I'm also running away from the problems between us while I'm getting this opportunity. Such a contradiction made me feel that I had no choice, and I fell into deep pain.
When I think back to that time, I still feel heavy in my heart. For a while, I've been thinking about our relationship and my own role in it. I understood that her anger was not just because the little boy knocked down the popcorn, but also because there was more resentment and emotions in it. So, over the next few days, I tried to find an opportunity to have a conversation with her, but each time in vain.
Just when I thought the relationship might be coming to an end, an unexpected event changed everything. We made an appointment to go shopping together that day, which was supposed to be our daily happy life, but something happened that we didn't expect.
We had just walked out of the house and all of a sudden the phone rang, it was my mother's **. Her voice was a little flustered, and the anxiety in her tone made me feel uneasy. My mother told me that my father had been in a traffic accident and that he was not in a good situation and needed me to go to the hospital immediately. I hurriedly told my girlfriend, and she immediately said that she wanted to accompany me to the hospital, which made me feel relieved.
Maybe it's because I'm nervous, and I'm busy calling my parents. On my way to the hospital, I heard my father's voice in **, and I realized that I had missed a key piece of information. It turned out that the accident happened when he went to visit his grandson at his daughter's house. This sentence instantly made me angry, because we had never been married to their daughter, so the relationship with me as a father was not close. I don't understand why he brought it up at this time.
When I rushed into the hospital, I found my girlfriend waiting anxiously outside the hospital. When she saw me, she immediately came over and hugged me and asked about my parents. Her look made me worry, but I couldn't suppress the contradictions in my heart. I wanted her to be by my side and at the same time felt guilty for causing so much trouble to her.
When we went into the ward together, my father's face was pale and my mother's eyes were red. My girlfriend and I inquired about my parents' condition, and my mother told us that my father's injuries were not serious, but he needed to be hospitalized for observation. At this time, I felt the weight of family responsibilities, and looking into the eyes of my parents full of hard work and concern, I decided to stay in the hospital to accompany them.
My girlfriend also said that she wanted to stay with me, but I dismissed her and said, "You go back, I will take care of them." Her black and white eyes were full of reluctance and loss, but she obediently went back.
That night, I was by my parents' side, proud of myself over and over again, but also annoyed by our relationship. In this life, I feel more and more that the problem between us is not as simple as a small dispute, but a deep-rooted problem.
I tried to comfort her, explaining that I wasn't trying to antagonize her, I just wanted her to calm down. However, she didn't listen at all, and ran back to her room in a rage. I was very sad about this incident, and I felt that there were more and more problems between us. It used to be happy, but recently these conflicts have made me doubt our relationship.
It makes me feel like there are more and more problems between us. I know she's hurt and may be emotionally unstable, but I'm not unconcerned about her. I told her that she needed to calm down, but she insisted on not listening and even got into an argument with me. Her emotions never subsided, and I began to feel exhausted.
These contradictions and tribulations really overwhelm me. Our once sweet and tolerant have become so fragile in the face of these contradictions. It makes me doubt the relationship and the future between us. I don't know what to do, and I don't know when the conflict between us will be resolved. I wish we could rediscover the sweetness of the past, but the reality is disappointing me more and more.
For the next few days, my girlfriend and I fell silent. She became very cold and no longer shared her likes and worries with me as before. I also tried to improve the atmosphere, give her flowers, buy her favorite food, but she politely refused.
Just when I was starting to feel hopeless, one weekend afternoon, I received a ** from her mother. Her mother invited me to their house, saying she wanted to have a good chat with me. I hesitated, but agreed.
Her mother kindly entertained me and made me a cup of fragrant green tea. We talked for a while and talked about my girlfriend. Her mother told me that the mother who had the argument that day was a good friend of hers, and that she had been busy taking care of her sick father, so she was emotionally sensitive. She explained that she wished I could have been more accommodating.
I feel a little aggrieved. I'm obviously on her mother's side, why did her mother teach me to be tolerant?I was somewhat unimpressed by her mother's persuasion. However, I was also touched by her mother's words. She said: "There will inevitably be some conflicts in the family, but as long as both parties can be more understanding and tolerant, they can resolve the conflicts and maintain each other's feelings." ”
When I left her house, her mother gave me a copy of The Art of Emotional Communication and said, "No matter what happens, don't give up easily." ”
When I got home, I picked up the book and started reading. I fell into it, and the words in the book are sharp, but at the heart of it is about finding understanding and balance in the midst of arguments. As I pondered, I also reflected on my quarrel with her. It's time to go and have a good chat with her.
Our argument lasted a few days. I realized that there must be something deeper here, so I decided to have a good talk with her.
My dear, we really need to sit down and talk. I said to her.
She nodded, but still looked a little angry.
We found a quiet café, sat down and started talking. I explained my thoughts to her, told her how I felt and worried about her. Our conversation was intense, but eventually, we both realized that the core of the problem was – miscommunication. We've been together for a long time, but we've never sat down properly and honestly discussed our quarrels and grievances. Slowly, we began to express our inner thoughts honestly, and expressed our expectations and requirements for each other. We apologized to each other and promised to communicate well and not hide each other's feelings again.
Gradually, our relationship returned to peace. But I know that this dispute has not completely resolved the problems between us, and we need more time to build a healthier and stronger relationship. Every conflict in the family is not a simple black and white antagonism, but requires both parties to have wisdom and understanding to face together.