I am an elementary school teacher and am about to retire. In the past years, I have quietly dedicated myself to the cause of education and lived a decent life in the eyes of most people. However, because of my father's profession, my two older brothers and I rarely traveled out for many years, and that was because I had inherited his position as a teacher.
I am the youngest child in the family, my father is a teacher, and my family is poor. He often said that teaching is the poorest profession, and even after teaching and educating people for many years, it is difficult for our family of five to fill our stomachs, and we often go hungry and have a full meal.
My father advised us not to be teachers, but to learn a trade rather than become a teacher.
Due to the family's financial difficulties, the eldest brother reached the age of marriage, but he was unable to provide a decent house. The five of us had to live in two rooms, and in the end, my parents made a difficult decision: let the eldest brother become someone else's son-in-law.
This decision became a laughing stock in the village for many years, and it was not until other families recruited relatives that my parents were freed from spitting.
Mother often cried silently, and she secretly complained that there was no other way but to let her eldest brother become someone else's son-in-law. However, the eldest brother is too old to tolerate his singleness and solitude.
When I was younger, I couldn't understand my parents' feelings, and I thought that it made no difference if I lived in my own house or my sister-in-law's house after I got married, because I was ten years younger than my eldest brother. It wasn't until I became an adult that I realized how shameless it was for a man to come to the door to get married, not only did he lose his dignity, but even his parents suffered helplessness and humiliation.
My second brother did not receive much education and dropped out of school early to work as a coolie with his mother, so he still can't read a word. When he was married, my father vacated the room where our brothers slept and gave him the marital room, and I was placed on a modest bed in the cattle pen, and the mosquitoes buzzed at night, almost stinging me to the death. My parents comforted me and said that this was a helpless arrangement.
As the youngest child in my family, my parents seemed to expect more from me. My father used to say, "One of the three children has to be promising." "Because of this, all the opportunities to study are given to me first.
Of the three brothers, I was the only one who finished high school. By the time he graduated from high school, my father was in his fifties. After years of reforms, his teachers' salaries have also increased slightly. At that time, there was a provision that allowed children in the family to work in place of their parents. My father, who was almost 50, thought about it and finally let me take over his place at the age of 19. From then on, I followed my father's example, picked up a ruler and chalk, stepped onto the podium in the classroom, and became a teacher in the village elementary school.
Actually, being a teacher didn't give me much of a sense of pride. The only satisfaction is that the children and parents in the village call me Teacher Wang.
Every morning, I wake up early, help my parents in the fields, and then tidy up and leave for school. After school, when I get home, I still can't escape the responsibility of farming.
I used to wonder if it made sense to be a teacher. During the day, he lectured until he was hoarse, but in the afternoon he had to work in the fields again. One person shares two jobs. He studied hard because he didn't want to farm, but in the end he couldn't escape this fate.
When I was 23 years old, I met a girl from the next village. She admired the identity of a teacher, and it was this sentence that brought us together and became husband and wife.
After I got married, I chose to live separately from my parents, who expressed their reluctance to live with me and preferred a comfortable lifestyle. So, my wife and I continued the pattern of my parents' lives: I teach, she farms. My income is not high, and she needs to grow crops to make ends meet. My father put down his precepts and worked hard with my mother to cultivate all kinds of crops and make a living.
My wife never complained to me and silently supported my work. Despite not living well, she struggled to save a portion of her meager income to buy necessities for her parents.
I asked her if it would be more convenient to give money directlyBut she said: "Give money directly, and the elderly may not use it for necessities." I regularly buy oil and vegetables for my parents, which are necessities. I buy it for them, so they don't have to spend any more money on it so they can keep their money. ”
When my family was not wealthy, my brothers never thought it was the right choice for me to take over my father's job. Sometimes they would laugh at me: "A teacher is not as good as us." The iron rice bowl may not be as good as you think!”
I just smiled because it was the path I chose. Even when there are many difficulties ahead, I will persevere. Over the years, I have had a deep love of teaching and passing on my knowledge to children.
I have experienced many years of teaching career, and my salary has slowly climbed from a few hundred yuan to more than 1,000 now, or even nearly four or five thousand. In the early years, I obtained a correspondence college degree at my own expense, and continued my studies, completing a period of study.
Now, I have been quietly contributing to the education industry for more than 30 years, and my salary has also been **. It wasn't until recently that I really felt the benefits of being a teacher. My family and relatives praised me for living the most decent life, receiving the country's salary, enjoying a year's winter and summer vacations, and two days off a week. Regardless of the weather, I was able to survive rain or shine.
A teacher who retired at the same time as my father now receives a pension of several thousand yuan a month. Therefore, my eldest brother and second brother's attitude towards me suddenly became ambiguous, as if because they learned about the teacher.
When my mother suffered from cataracts at an early age, she was unable to pay for ** due to family constraints, and she had been blind for decades. For many years, my mother diligently cleaned the house with her own hands and kept the house spotless. Today, my father, who is nearly 90 years old, is also in poor health, but the eldest and second brothers are unwilling to take on the responsibility of taking care of the two elderly people.
The eldest brother said that he had become a son-in-law of another family and was no longer responsible for family affairs. He thinks that he has gone away, family chores have nothing to do with him, and the matter of providing for the elderly should be borne by me and my second brother.
The second brother accused me of taking my father's place back then, believing that if it weren't for me, my parents would not be living in such poverty. He felt that if my father could receive a pension of several thousand yuan like other retired teachers of his generation, my brother would not have to worry about his parents' pension, and even his mother would not have lost his sight so early.
The two elder brothers refused to take on the responsibility of their parents' pension, and the parents were unwilling to embarrass our brothers. Therefore, no matter how much my wife and I tried to persuade us, they still refused to live with us.
In the past, we lived in poverty, except for holidays and parents' birthdays, our wives only gave our parents a symbolic amount of money, and there was little substantial support in ordinary times. Sending only a pot of oil or buying some meat for our parents every month is our warm normality.
Now that we have a stable income, my wife continues this habit, buying food and groceries for my parents on time every month, and every time she visits her in-laws, she carefully stews meat dishes so that my parents can enjoy them easily.
Her parents always praised her for her dedication, but she did it silently, never bragging to her relatives and neighbors, but her father told everyone about it.
The second sister-in-law felt that my father was partial to us, thinking that we did not give gifts to the elderly, but we had the support of my father. She claimed that all this was only because of my status as a teacher, so that I would not be seen as an unfilial son. However, no one seems to care whether they do it or not.
Two years ago, my father was not in good health, and I proposed that my second brother take turns taking care of his parents. However, the second brother and sister-in-law immediately refused. The second sister-in-law complained that they had never received any benefits or property from their parents since they married into the second brother's family, so it was impossible for them to take care of their parents.
The second brother accused me: "You have enjoyed the benefits of your father, now we work hard all day, you work in an air-conditioned room, there is no pressure and salary, and there is security after retirement, all of which are given by your father." Since you have enjoyed so much, it is time to take on the responsibility of taking care of your parents. ”
We had a big argument because of this. For many years, the second brother and sister-in-law never cared about the condition of their parents, and the eldest brother only went home to visit during the festival. I knew that having taken on my father's job, it was only natural to take care of my parents a little more. Therefore, for many years I took care of my parents silently and without complaint.
Today, the two elderly parents are no longer able to take care of themselves, but they do not care about their responsibilities and shirk the responsibility of support lightly. I'm not trying to force them to provide financial support, I just hope that they will take time out to visit the elderly and reach out when we are busy, so that I will feel more relieved. However, they are reluctant to do so.
Among them, the second brother and the second sister-in-law even declared that they would sever their relationship with us and would not want to know our situation in the future.
My wife kept telling me: "We don't have to worry about their actions and words, as children support our parents." We ourselves are parents now, and we will grow old in the future, so we can be role models for our children. Even if the second brother and sister-in-law are unwilling to take care of their parents, we will tolerate them. It is our responsibility to raise my parents, not only because my father once gave me such a decent life, but also because it is a moral duty. Even without such a background, it is natural to take care of your parents. The two elderly people didn't have many needs, for example, I could wash a few more clothes without adding too much burden. ”
I felt guilty for listening to my wife's advice. So, we carefully tidied up a room, prepared new bedding for our parents, and picked them up on the weekend. Now, my parents have been living with us for two years, but my second brother and sister-in-law have never stepped through our door, nor have they called to greet us.
The wife took great care of her parents, accompanying her father for a walk when the weather was nice, and even helping her mother when she went out on crutches. I was grateful to my wife for her efforts, but she said that her parents had come to make her life more fulfilling.
She often chats with her parents because she feels that it makes the elderly feel that time passes faster. My wife always advised me not to care about other people's attitudes, as long as we did our best with a clear conscience.
In retrospect, although I was able to make a decent living by taking over my father's position, the kinship between me and my two older brothers grew apart.
You can't complain about your brothers' unfilial piety, as your wife said, just be yourself and have a clear conscience.