In our country, there is a type of accusatory parent in many families, who may not realize how much harm their actions have caused to their children. These parents are accustomed to blaming, picking, complaining, and are too demanding and expectant of their children, thus putting their children under tremendous mental stress. In the long run, children are prone to various mental illnesses, which affect their healthy growth.
Xiao Ming is such a child. His parents are both high-level intellectuals, and their expectations for Xiao Ming are very high. From childhood to adulthood, no matter what kind of achievements Xiao Ming achieved, his parents could always find the shortcomings and blame him for why he didn't do better. In their eyes, Xiao Ming will never be able to live up to their expectations.
Xiao Ming's academic performance has always been at the top, but his parents always feel that he can work harder and are always dissatisfied with his grades. Whenever Xiao Ming came home with his report card, his parents always sneered: "Why are you so uncompetitive, what good university can you get into with such a grade?"Look at the neighbor's Xiaohua, how good your grades are, why can't you be like him?”
In the face of his parents' accusations, Xiao Ming became more and more silent. He no longer confides in his parents about his troubles, but hides all his pain in his heart. At school, Xiao Ming also became withdrawn and unsociable, and his classmates found him difficult to get along with. Gradually, Xiao Ming began to experience insomnia, anxiety and other symptoms, and he began to be afraid of going home and facing the accusations of his parents.
Finally one day, Xiao Ming couldn't bear the pressure in his heart and chose to commit suicide. Fortunately, he was found in time and his life was saved. But the incident shocked his parents so much that they began to reflect on their parenting methods and realize how much their blaming behavior had hurt their children.
The impact of blaming parents on children is profound. First of all, children will develop an extreme inferiority complex in this environment, and they will lose confidence in themselves because they feel that no matter how hard they try, they will not be able to meet their parents' expectations. Secondly, children are prone to anxiety and depression because they do not receive enough love and support as they grow up. Finally, children may develop a blaming personality, and they will habitually blame and complain when they get along with others, and they will not be able to build healthy relationships.
So, how to avoid becoming a blaming parent and create a healthy environment for your child to grow up?
First, learn to appreciate and praise. Parents should give their children affirmation and praise when they achieve results, rather than blindly blaming them for why they don't do better. In this way, children can feel cared for by their parents and boost their self-confidence.
Second, learn to be tolerant and understanding. Parents should understand that their children will encounter setbacks in the process of growing up, and learn to tolerate their mistakes and give encouragement and support.
Finally, learn to listen and communicate. Parents should listen to their children, understand their worries and troubles, establish good communication with their children, and help them solve their problems.
Accusatory parents inadvertently raise mentally ill children, which is a question worth pondering. For the sake of their children's healthy growth, parents should strive to change their education methods and give their children a loving and supportive growth environment.