You will find that quite a few people are inSuppressive family of originGrowing up, but still being confident?
Under normal circumstances, people who grow up in such families generally have low self-esteem, but why do some people actually havePeculiarThe ground becomes, another kind of self-confidenceWonderfulExist?
There are probably the following situations, or several reasons:
1. Will talk back. People who can talk back are often good at using a self-deprecating tone to defuse the psychological damage of this kind of suppression, because self-deprecation is the most effective and advanced psychological defense mechanism.
For example, the way my dad and my grandma get along, it's obvious that my grandma is scolding, and the scolding is also very ugly, my dad is on the side of the hippie smile, but scolding and scolding, the conversation between the two people becomes laughing and scolding, and finally even becomes "flirting and scolding".
You see, with this mature psychological defense mechanism, you can avoid falling into the inferiority trap of self-doubt and self-denial because of the suppression of the repressive family.
2. The body has black vitality, we can reverse pain into life force, and reverse negative energy into positive energy, because pain itself is a huge energy that we have suppressed.
This is also the kind of people I admire the most, they never complain about the environment, like the welcome pine on the Yellow Mountain, they can always find the soil suitable for their roots, even if the feet are rocks, they can also drill out of the cracks in the stones, take root and sprout, and grow into towering trees.
It is a bit similar to Mr. Wang Yangming's "self-sufficient", in fact, each of us is born with self-sufficiency, but some people are polluted and obscured by this "self-sufficient" nature, and some people do not, on the contrary, through the way of savage growth, conform to nature, develop nature, and finally even if the growth environment is not good, the original family has a lot of problems, but they have cultivated a sound personality and mature mind.
3. In fact, a person's self-confidence is far more than the family, and schools;Not only parents, but also teachers, classmates, and friends;Out of the society, there are colleagues and leaders;If you have a specialty, a little talent in some aspects, and some achievements in your work, these will become your self-confidence.
It does not mean that the lack of self-confidence will lead to a comprehensive collapse of self-confidence. Many people blame all of this on repressive families and bad parents, which is a bit too much.
Many people who know how to reflect and will turn to themselves have found their own self-confidence in many other aspects.
Above, for reference.