I was 64 years old, and after taking care of my 87-year-old mother for half a month, I decided to send her to a nursing home
My name is Fan Qiang and I am 64 years old this year. In the past six months, my life has been full of suffering and self-blame, and my 87-year-old mother, who used to be the person I relied on and relied on, has now become a heavy stone in my heart. Every time I see her expectant eyes, I feel an indescribable pressure and guilt. The home is filled with memories of the past, and those old ** and old-fashioned furniture are silently recounting the time we once spent together. Now, however, I am starting to think about sending her to a nursing home.
My neighbor is a friendly middle-aged man who comes to visit us from time to time. Every suggestion and exhortation from him made me even more entangled. He said: "Fan Qiang, you can't be like this, your mother raised you, how can you treat her like this?""In the dead of night, I would sit alone in that old-fashioned rocking chair and sigh deeply, feeling that I was the most unfilial son in the world. But really, the hardships and struggles of each day made me start to think about the decision that I didn't want to consider. I couldn't believe my eyes were at such a thought.
As time went on, the atmosphere in the home became heavier and heavier. Although my mother's health is not as good as before, her expectations and deep dependence on me are still the same. Whenever I stepped into her room, she always smiled and asked, "Qiangqiang, are you tired today?"At this time, I could only be speechless, barely squeezing out a smile, but my heart was like a knife.
In order to give my mother better care, I decided to hire a caregiver. She is a middle-aged woman who looks professional on the outside, but she seems a little cold every time she communicates. Her presence only added to my burden, and I couldn't help but roar: "You're here to take care of my mother, not to see the fun!".However, she only replied lightly: "Sir, I know my job. ”
The concern of my neighbors became difficult for me to accept. He kept calling me and convincing me to reconsider my decision. Once, he invited me to his house for tea. When he handed me a cup of hot tea, his eyes were full of worry and pity. He said: "Fan Qiang, you know how much your mother loves you, she has given everything for you, how can you treat her like this?"My heart was full of guilt, but there was an indescribable helplessness.
During this time, I began to reminisce about the years I spent with my mother. Ever since I was a child, my mom has been a strong pillar for me, always giving me endless love and care when I needed it. Now, however, when I see her aging figure and expectant gaze, I begin to question my choice. Late at night, when I sit alone in that old rocking chair, I wonder: Am I really making the right decision?
At the same time, my physical and mental condition began to have problems. I suffered from insomnia, lost my appetite, and even began to avoid direct contact with my mother, because every time I saw her, I remembered the decisions I had made. Days like this have been going on for about two weeks, and I feel almost unbearable. I started thinking about whether I needed a better solution, but the thought just made me more miserable.
In short, this time was a mental and physical ordeal for me. I struggled between morality and reality, and every day felt like walking a tightrope. I knew I had a decision to make, but that decision would profoundly affect my happiness and conscience for the rest of my life. I can't believe that a seemingly simple choice has left me in a difficult situation.
Just when I felt exhausted and unbearable, an unexpected event broke the ice in my life. One afternoon, as I was sitting on the sofa in the living room thinking, the nurse suddenly came in and said with a solemn face, "Sir, your mother doesn't seem to be feeling well. ”
I hurried into the room and saw my mother lying on the bed, pale and short of breath. My heart tensed all at once. I quickly called the first aid** and waited anxiously. In the process of waiting, my mind echoed with my own decisions and inner contradictions in those days. My heart was twisting like a knife, and I longed to be able to turn back time and make a new choice.
The doctors arrived quickly, and after a series of tests, they told me that my mother was only due to physical weakness and emotional depression. But at this moment, I was deeply aware of how risky and selfish my decision was. I realized that no matter how tired and difficult I was, this woman was the most precious presence in my life.
At that time, I made up my mind that I would do my best to take care of and accompany my mother no matter what. I was skeptical about my decision, but at the same time, I was deeply aware of what true unfilial piety is. It's hard to believe that I've come this far, but it was this accident that made me deeply aware of my responsibility and guilt.
After that accident, I was determined to change my attitude towards life completely. I know that time waits for no one, and I understand that the most precious thing in life is the companionship and love between family members. Whenever I see the satisfied and happy smile on my mother's face, my heart is surrounded by warmth, and the guilt gradually replaces with gratitude. I began to give her all and give her the most attentive care and deep love.
Although the work of caring is still full of hard work, my state of mind is more relaxed and satisfying than ever. I've learned that not all decisions are right, but the key is to have the courage to correct our mistakes. When my neighbor saw me change like this, he also applauded me, and he said, "Fan Qiang, you finally understand." "I just smiled because I knew I had made the right choice.
And now, I want to tell everyone through my experience that there is no substitute for warmth and love in the family. In the face of great difficulties and pressures, we must never forget those who once gave us endless love and care. I can't believe that I have made such a big mistake, but I also know that only by truly recognizing and correcting the mistakes can we lead us to a better future.