Life is sometimes more twists and turns than the storyline in the movie, you never know what will happen in the next moment, what kind of suffering awaits you!That's how I live, always giving me a hammer when I'm not expecting it, making it hard for me to breathe, I can't breathe. The word that everyone comes to this world is the cry of "wow", because from the moment they are born and land, they feel the suffering of this world. It's just that in the process of growing up, some people have tasted a hint of sweetness, while others have been tasting bitterness, and I am the latter.
I was born in a remote and backward rural area, and my family's economic conditions were very poor since I was a child, and other people's lives have always been my yearning. My grandparents had four daughters and two sons, my dad was the eldest son and my uncle was the youngest. For as long as I can remember, my grandparents were very partial, and they didn't like my dad as if they had picked him up. My uncle was not married at that time, and he was idle all day long, either fighting or drinking, gambling, and often asking his family for money. The grandparents didn't talk about him, and they gave him money as soon as they asked for it. My dad worked hard outside, and the wages he earned had to be handed over to his grandparents, and he had to do the work at home, so he couldn't get off well, and he was scolded by his grandparents all day long. The family usually sells some mountain goods, such as walnuts and chestnuts, and the grandparents also save all the money for my uncle, which is all the hard-earned money that my parents have worked hard to pick up all over the mountains.
Later, my grandparents said that they wanted to divide the family, and there were six houses in the family, and my grandparents lived in one, and our family of three was divided into one room, and the remaining four rooms were all given to my uncle. Of the five acres of land, our family of three gave one acre, and the rest were all uncles, and nothing else was given to my father. Our family of three was crammed into a house where the only furniture in this house was my mother's dowry. We didn't even have a place to cook, so we had to set up a wood stove in the corner of the room for cooking. The family of three lived and ate in this house, the smell of oil smoke was all over the house, and the house was smoked black.
When I was in first grade, my parents gave birth to a younger brother. Four people living in a house full of oil smoke can you imagine what a painful thing it was?Later, my father went to my grandparents to discuss another house for us, but my father not only did not ask for the house, but was abused by my grandparents and uncles. Later, my grandparents would come to find fault every now and then, quarrel with my parents, and sometimes the three of them would press my father to the ground and beat him, and threatened to kick out our family of four and leave us homeless. I still remember my mom washing her face with tears every night. Later, the behavior of my grandparents and uncle couldn't stand even the neighbors and the villagers, and my dad couldn't bear it anymore and decided to move out. With the help of the villagers, I found a piece of land, asked my mother's family to borrow some money, and finally built three large tiled houses with the help of the villagers and my mother's family.
Because I was in debt for building a house, my parents were honest farmers and had no skills, so they could only rely on selling coolies to earn money to support their families and pay off their debts. The family still has land and pigs, so there is endless work. When I was in the second grade, my dad started asking to help the family. Weeding in the fields, planting potatoes, digging potatoes, cutting pigweed, moving corn, digging the ground, going up the mountain to collect firewood, sawing firewood, chopping firewood, etc., anyway, it is all kinds of farm work, the same and the same, the work in hand has not been done, the next job is arranged for me, and it cannot be done at all. At that time, as long as it was school in the afternoon or on weekends, there was endless work waiting for me at home. If you don't work, you will be beaten by my father, and you will have to continue working after the beating.
At that time, I was very envious of the children of the same age as me in the village, who played to their heart's content after school and holidays, accompanied by their parents and spoiled by their grandparents. And I just kept working, and I kept being scolded and beaten. When I was seven or eight years old in the second grade, I had to do heavy work. When digging potatoes in the field, you have to help carry them home, a large bamboo basket of potatoes is fifty or sixty pounds, and there are many trips back and forth a day. When I sell bamboo at home, I have to carry bamboo back from the bamboo forest, a bundle of bamboo is seventy or eighty pounds, and if I can't carry it, I will drag it, and if I can't drag it, I will drag it. When the walnut chestnut is ripe, it has to be carried back basket by basket, and everything is done anyway. I did it slowly, I didn't do it well, I was either scolded by my dad or beaten. Sometimes when I go to bed at night and take off my coat, both shoulders are red and swollen strangulation marks, and the skin is torn, and it hurts to touch it lightly.
Three years have passed, and my parents have paid off all the foreign debts they owe for building a house. I thought that my miserable life was finally over, but who would have thought that when my father was thirty-six or seventeen years old, he suddenly had a serious illness, acute cerebral infarction, stroke and half of his body, and the pillar of the family fell down like this. At that time, I was only in the fifth grade of elementary school, and my hopes for life that had been so hard to be ignited were shattered. Fortunately, I was sent to the hospital in time, and after more than a year, my father's condition slowly improved, but he couldn't do heavy work, and he owed a foreign debt to see a doctor. My miserable life has not ended and started again, and as I get older, the work becomes heavier. A few years later, my younger brother was going to school, my dad was taking medicine all year round, and my mother was supporting the family alone, and life became more and more overwhelming. I dropped out of junior high school and decided to go out to work to relieve my family.
During the years of working outside, I lived a relatively free time. In the seventh year of part-time work, the family wanted to build a new house, so the little savings that I had saved with great difficulty were all used to build a three-story small building. When I felt that there was hope for life again, my dad's condition was ** again, and it was more serious than the first time, and I had no choice but to be hospitalized again**. After half a year, I finally recovered a little, but my body is not as good as before, and I am already in a semi-crippled state. It's all like this, he doesn't listen to admonitions, he smokes, he drinks, he eats sweets and greasy things. Sure enough, after more than a year, his condition was ** again, and he didn't listen to any persuasion.
In this way, I have been dealing with the hospital repeatedly over the years. We all advised him not to smoke and drink, not to eat sweets and greasy things, and to get up early every day to exercise, but he didn't listen at all, and he was anxious with us when he talked too much. This cerebral infarction caused by high blood pressure has tormented him for more than 20 years, and it has tormented me for more than 20 years. He is almost sixty years old this year, and his condition has been ** again in the first half of the year, this time it is very serious, his eyes are not clear, half of his body is numb, he can't walk steadily, he needs crutches, and his speech is slurred. At this point in life, people still want to smoke, and if they don't give him a cigarette, they will smoke secretly. A few days ago, the family called ** again, saying that my dad almost burned himself to death. I secretly smoked at home alone, but the cotton clothes I was wearing were lit, and after a while, the whole body was burned, but fortunately, my mother found out in time and saved him, but half of his body was burned extensively and needed skin grafting.
Alas!I'm in my thirties now, and I haven't married a daughter-in-law yet, so many people ask me why I don't get a wifeActually, I want to find a girlfriend too, but my family conditions don't allow it!The little salary I earn is not enough for my dad to send to the hospital, where is there still money to marry a daughter-in-law?The hospital is a bottomless pit, and even the richest people can't fill it.
The thing I've been most afraid of these years is to answer the ** at home. As soon as I saw the ** from home, I panicked and was afraid. Because every time the ** from home comes to ask for money or my dad wants to be hospitalized again, there is another sentence, why don't you find a partner?Every time I receive such a **, I want to die. The money was all sent to the hospital, what do I take to find my girlfriend?
There are always some people in my life who persuade me to open up, relax and go with the flow, and everything will be fine!If that's what you say, thank goodness. But real life always backfires, and slowly I understand a sentence: "Don't persuade others to be kind without others suffering!"."Now that I've seen it, maybe I was born to pay off my debts in this life. I don't know what sins I created in my previous lifeIn this life, it will take a lifetime to pay back!When I was a child, I had to repay it with my physical strength, and when I grew up, I had to pay it back not only with my physical strength, but also mentally and financially. I used to be a person with dreams, but my dreams can only live in fantasies, dreams!
Forget it!When I finish paying all the debts I owe in my last life, I will be freed, and it may be time for me to leave. This world is not worth nostalgia, no matter how beautiful the world is in the next life, I don't dare to come!