My name is Ms. Chang, and I am now in my early years, and I am fortunate to not be greasy. When I was three years old, life gave me a different kind of gift – divorce. It wasn't an unwarranted storm, it was my ex-husband, a man who lived like a walking corpse, drank every day, indulged in revelry, and sleepwalked forgetting his responsibilities as a family and children.
He is like a greedy glutton, chewing on the beauty of life, but turning a blind eye to the responsibilities of the family. Every quarrel is like an endless drunken dream, and our lives are drifting apart, like two parallel lines that never intersect.
In the face of such a him, I am like a tired swallow, longing to find my own warmth. Divorce has become a helpless but wise choice for me. I chose to part ways with him in search of new hope for me and my children. Although the road is not smooth, I firmly believe that as long as there is love and faith in my heart, the sunshine will always smile after the wind and rain.
Secondly, he was also addicted to gambling and often lost nine out of ten bets. Because he didn't work hard, his income was limited, and his financial situation was worsened by gambling on his budget. Not only did I have to support my own family, but I also had to bear the gambling debts he lost, and he often borrowed money from me when he ran out of money, and he would nag him if he didn't give him. I was so tired from such a marriage that I finally made up my mind and filed for divorce on a night when he was furious with alcoholism.
At first, he didn't agree, but I firmly said that the property and the vehicle belonged to him, and I only wanted my son. After some apprehension, he reluctantly agreed. At that time, my son was six years old and had just entered the first grade of elementary school. Due to the haste of the divorce, I did not prepare a new place to live, so I had to return to my parents' house with my son. However, things didn't go as smoothly as I thought they would. Because they did not inform their parents about the divorce in advance, they were both surprised and angry when they heard it.
I thought my home would identify with me and provide me with a place to live. After all, I was married and pregnant at the time, and there happened to be an extra room at home. However, after only a few days, my brother-in-law began to feel impatient and dissatisfied with my son's mischievousness, thinking that he had not let her rest well and that the house was not quiet enough. She even mentioned that if my son and I stayed here, she would consider going back to her parents' house.
This made my mom very worried, and she started blaming me for not getting divorced, that it would be difficult to get married later with a big child. I was very angry and insisted that "I will never marry again." But my mother retorted: "Don't marry you anymore and live in **?."Have you been living in your mother's house?Find a place to live, and you will have to find another man to marry. ”
I instantly heard my mother's words, and my heart burned with anger. If you don't let me live, I can't stop, and if I leave my mother's house, do I really want to sleep on the streets?Early the next morning, without warning, my son and I quietly moved out of my mother's house. On that day, my son and I rented a small one-bedroom house and managed to find a place to stay.
A year passed by in a flash, and during this time, I was responsible for taking my son to and from school while working. After school, I had almost nowhere to go but to cook at home and help my son with his Xi homework. Since my son has just entered the first grade, his school XiXi habits have not yet been formed, so the chores and educational responsibilities are all on my shoulders. This year, I am deeply aware of the difficulties of being a single mother. However, despite the hardships, I never made up for my post-divorce choices.
My mother came to visit us several times, and she was deeply worried about my Della and advised me to remarry while I was young. She said that a woman's ** period is only a few years, and it is difficult to find a good home if she misses it. After I got married, I was resistant to remarrying, and the ordeal of my previous marriage made me deeply suspicious of my marriage and no longer expected too much.
However, as fate would have it, I met a man at a colleague's wedding. He was three years older than me, tall and handsome, with an outstanding temperament and a deep cultivation. He is a civil servant and has a good family. He told me that he was divorced and that his ex-wife was a careeraholic, lacked femininity, was busy with work all day, didn't care about the family, and didn't care about the children. He couldn't feel the warmth of the family after getting married, so he chose to divorce and take his son with him.
He was very nice to me and often came to pick me up when I was off work. He said I was beautiful and young, and I didn't look like a man in my thirties at all. My son didn't mention what I brought up because it had just started, he only knew that I was divorced.
However, after he proposed to me, I felt that I could no longer hide it and confessed that I had a son. Unexpectedly, when a son was mentioned, he immediately asked who his son was with. I replied, "Of course it's me!"After hearing this, his eyes darkened, and he no longer took the initiative to contact me. Our relationship seems to have ended without a hitch.
Through my judgment with this man, I gradually realized that there is a consensus among men who are married for the second time about women with children, especially since I have a son. Last year, through a colleague's introduction, I met an unmarried man my age who eventually became my birthday husband.
He has an ordinary appearance and is not tall, but he gives people a sense of honesty and reliability. He worked in a private business, and it turned out to be a man who had been married before, and his conditions were slightly inferior. I feel like I'm just going to have a good feeling about him, but he's married for the first time, which makes me feel excited. I think it's a good thing that he's not married and doesn't have children.
So, when we first met, I confessed that I had a son and asked him if he would be okay with my child if we were together. Without hesitation, the first-married man said, "Isn't it a son?."I like boys very much, and don't worry, as long as we get married, I'll treat him like my own. "The words he said at that time made me feel very warm, and I instantly felt good about him.
Well, when I proposed this unwed boyfriend to my mom, she also thought it was a rare opportunity because he didn't have a child, so it wouldn't be that complicated. Even he is relatively financially equal, but compared to marrying a married person with children, the situation is simple to make-up, avoiding a lot of headaches.
I think my mom has a point. So, I started dating this man. To test his attitude towards my son, I deliberately brought the child on a date. Every time, he gave my son a demonstration, accompanied him with elephants, taught him new skills, and bought him toys. Let my son come home and think about him a lot.
In less than a month, my son has developed a deep crush on him, which has made my liking for him even greater. Later, he invited me to his house to meet his son's parents, and his parents expressed their affection for my son. After weighing the pros and cons, I decided to marry him. After the marriage, everything went well at first, and he still had a good attitude towards my son. Soon after, he proposed, "Let's have another child, so that our son can have a companion." ”
I think it's a reasonable request, he's married for the first time, and who wouldn't want to have a child of their ownSo, I said yes. During my pregnancy, he was very concerned about me and always for my son. Eventually, I gave birth to a daughter. Campaigning, I thought we had achieved both sons and daughters, and everything was happy and happy. But the joy came too soon. When my daughter was a few months old, I noticed that my husband's attitude towards my son had deteriorated significantly, and he was fluently dissatisfied with his mischievous mischief.
I didn't continue to go to work because of my daughter's support, and the responsibility of picking up my son to school shifted to my husband and mother-in-law. Don't listen to her. For this, I had to reproach my son for making him listen to his father and grandmother. But the son complained badly to him and even insulted them behind their backs. He offered to return to his biological father, believing that it was his real home.
I asked my husband if he had said such a thing, but he replied indifferently: "Your son thinks for himself, and it's okay to go back to his father!."He's so old that he can't stop him if he wants to. "I was very angry when I heard that, and we had a fierce fight.
My husband's attitude towards my son has deteriorated, and my mother-in-law has stopped treating them as well as she used to, and they all seem to want me to send him back to his biological father. I was really outraged that my ex-husband didn't care about the family and didn't care about the kids. How could I possibly send the child back there entirelyAnd now this husband doesn't seem to care about my feelings.
First of all, when he pursued me, he swore to accept my son, and even promised to treat him like his own. That's why I developed a crush on him and finally agreed to marry him. However, since I gave birth to my daughter, he has become a different person, breaking his original promise. I initially chose to marry him because he was the first to marry and was good to my son. I was completely naïve, thinking that marrying such a man would no longer be half-hearted, and I could live my life wholeheartedly.
Then something happened that made me think about divorce from my first-married husband. One day, when it was time for my son to get out of school, he didn't return. Usually my mother-in-law picks him up because my husband gets off work late, but that day my mother-in-law was out of work, so I asked my husband to get off work early to pick him up. However, it was getting late, and he didn't bring his son back. I hurriedly called him ** to inquire about the situation.
He told me that my son didn't listen to him on the road, so he started beating him. For this reason, the son refused to go home with him and even ran away, and it took him a lot of effort to recover him. When I got home, I rebuked him: "How can you beat your son?".The more you beat him, the less he will listen to you. You should communicate with him well!When he heard this, he got angry: "Is communication useful?"I don't have that time. ”
His answer made me very angry. I told him he had changed and had lost patience with his son. He even responded: "I won't care about your son in the future, you are responsible for yourself, and I will take care of my daughter." "It really surprised me, his initial promise to treat my son as his own was a lie. I was so naïve to expect him to treat my son with all sincerity, which is self-defeating.
All this, I felt that it was meaningless to face him and continue to live, so I filed for divorce. However, he didn't feel scared at all, but laughed and said: "Let's go, see how good it is for you to find another one, and if you find another one, you will be married for the third time." "At the moment, I feel like I'm in a whirlpool, and it's hard to make a choice. In my heart, it was as if I was being pulled by an invisible thread, one side was my lovely little daughter, and the other side was the marriage that troubled me a lot.
My baby daughter is still too young, she needs me, she needs a warm home, she needs a mother's embrace. How can I be ruthless enough to leave her and leave her alone to face the warmth and coldness of the world?I can't imagine her being cared for by her stepmother, that would be so unfair to her. Therefore, the choice of divorce makes me feel extremely sad.
However, on the other hand, what I felt in this son's house was indifference and neglect. I am a wife and a mother, and I crave respect and love. This distress left me in a state of endless anxiety.
Faced with such a dilemma, how should I choose?Do you choose to stay and work hard for your daughter's happiness, or do you choose to leave and pursue your own happiness?This question has been echoing in my mind and has kept me from making a decision. I hope to find a way out, a way out where my daughter and I can be happy.