Three chat skills, the ex took the initiative to chat with you!
In the past, no matter how busy he was, he would take the time to take the initiative to send you a message, but now even if you send him more, he will only say a few perfunctory words and never take the initiative. He used to be good, replaying it in your mind over and over again, you can't overlap the cold him you are now with the passionate him you used to have, you know that feeling?Obviously, this person is still there, you can still call, send messages, and meet, but you don't have the courage.
In the recovery, many people have encountered this situation, and the most difficult time has come, and finally there is *** but I don't know what to say. Chatting and getting along with each other with high emotional intelligence is a very important part of the recovery, and many people who succeed in recovery are because they have mastered the correct chat skills.
Master the chat skills in the recovery process, avoid being cautious, don't worry about saying the wrong thing, and don't have to endure the other party's perfunctory indifference, you just need to learn the correct and effective communication methods.
First: Learn to grasp the focus of the conversation.
In the chat, the key is to grasp the dominance of the discourse, and who the topic revolves around is the focus of the chat. So when it comes to redemption, remember not to always revolve the conversation around the other person, which will make us very passive. You can change the question to "Tell you something particularly interesting!"."You know what, I recently met someone who is curious." At the beginning of such a topic, it will revolve around itself, and you can also unintentionally reveal your changes and dynamics to the other party, and the topic will not make the other party feel too boring.
Second: Talk about topics that the other person is interested in.
Although the topic starts on its own, in the process of chatting, you need to talk about some topics that the other party is interested in, such as some hobbies of the other party, or some news hotspots that the other party likes, etc. This will not only extend the topic well, but also increase the interest of the other person in chatting with you. It's important to talk about what resonates with the other person and extends the conversation.
Third: Don't expose too strong a sense of need.
As the saying goes, it's not the business that rushes, in the chat, don't be too humble, because if you are too active, the other party will lose the initiative, and the normal heart is the best state. It's okay to be cold to each other once in a while. Keep it this way for a month or two, reduce the sense of need, but keep in touch, and eventually the other person will love chatting with you.
Therefore, the reunion does not mean that the reunion is successful, and the relationship after the reunion also needs to have a warming space. How to talk can mobilize the emotional resonance of the other party, is the most important thing, have you learned?
Follow me, **you.
I am Zixin, a marriage and family teacher, a senior psychological counselor, a love counselor, and an adolescent mental health counselor.
Zixin psychology helps you grow.