Parents, Chapter 32.
In the current environment where children grow up, problems and troubles caused by electronic products, such as mobile phones, games, etcMost of the time it is borne by the parents unilaterally. In other words, children do not feel that swiping their mobile phones and playing games is a problem or a problem.
Therefore, in the world of electronic products, there is always a chase, an escape, a strict prohibition, and a confrontation to the end. Isn't there a good way for parents to face electronic products in a more relaxed mood, so that children can find a balance between entertainment and learning?If you want to find a good way, you must first understand why your child is interested in electronics, and if we regard electronics as our enemy, we need to know ourselves and our opponents.
Parents are invited to think about this question first: whether your child likes to surf their phones, play games, or surf the web, you knowWhy are children so easily attracted to these electronic gadgets?In addition to simple "fun", what can children gain from it?
Many things, in fact, parents need to learn from the best manufacturers, game manufacturers, they are the experts in figuring out and analyzing children's psychology, they know very well what their children need, what they get, and what they are willing to give.
The reason why electronic products are so attractive to children is that they meet their needs in the first place. At the beginning of product design, electronic product manufacturers will consider that children will have a sense of belonging, accomplishment and a strong sense of pleasure when using them. Although this does not solve the difficulties of reality, they give children fantasy and longing, which is the greatest joy in children's unchanging life**. Satisfying children is the first thing they do.
Second, whether it's swiping your phone or playing games, there are few disciplinary measures. In other words, even if the child does not do well in a certain entertainment or game, the worst result is to try again, without any actual punishment or blame. However, in reality, if the child does not study well and does not do well in exams, he will be punished in various ways such as not being able to play games, not being able to travel, and so on.
Many parents don't realize that it's this kind of "if you don't do it......I just want you to look good!The mentality pushed the child to the opposite side of himself. One game designer once said, "We never take away what is already for our children, instead, we encourage them to work harder and get more......"Indeed, even the worst player will not be disliked by the game designer. On the contrary, they will always show you a lot of ways to make you stronger. These two completely different design concepts lead to huge differences in children's attitudes towards play and learning, one is to be blamed or even restricted for not doing well, and the other is to be encouraged to do not do well and tell you to try again.
So, the two very different attitudes of children towards electronics and learning happen to prove an important psychological principle. When a person does something to avoid a bad outcome, such as studying hard to avoid being blamed by their parents, they feel irritable, restless, and also invaded by unhealthy stress;Conversely, when a person puts in an effort for a positive outcome, such as beating a game, there is good motivation. We have said so much about the "advantages" of electronic products are not to encourage children to use them frequently or even indulge in them, because these so-called "advantages" are deliberately made by manufacturers. They mask the biggest problem with electronics with emotional satisfaction and sensual pleasure:The pleasure of instant gratification does not solve any real-world problems and is easily addictive. And all of us, including children, live in reality, and what needs to be solved is one reality after another.
Therefore, it is the right way to let children give up illusions and nothingness, return to the real world, and face difficulties and solve problems. However, this does not prevent us from borrowing and referring to certain factors from the attraction of electronic products to children, so that children can also be like the virtual world in real learning and lifeReceiving certain satisfactions, forgiving certain punishments, and being motivated by encouragement.
No matter how reluctant parents may be, we have to admit that the chances of preventing children from accessing the online world are almost zero. So no matter how much we hate electronic products, as long as children are still attracted to games, we need to take on the task of guiding children and preventing them from becoming addicted to electronic products.
1) Give your child the right to be restricted.
The right to have restrictions is, first and foremost, to distinguish the boundaries between learning and electronics. When you can play, when you should study, when you can use electronic devices, etc., you need to make an agreement with your child before allowing them to touch electronic devices.
Second, the two sides of the border should be reciprocal. High-quality learning can be exchanged for ample recreational time;Perfunctory and low-quality learning can only be made up for by taking up time that could have been played on mobile phones. Let children know that focus, learning, relaxation and entertainment are two in one, equal and inseparable.
2) Create attractiveness in reality, such as electronics.
According to the child's own learning status and thinking ability, make a short-term plan that exceeds the child's ability at every step, so that the child can get full satisfaction and a sense of achievement after each achievement, and if you persist, you can achieve the medium-term or even long-term goals.
More encouragement, less punishment, more attention to the child's learning process rather than the result of test scores, especially the attitude and method of learning, rather than their grades as the only criterion. This kind of learning guidance will make children work hard to "do better", instead of feeling depressed and irritable to "avoid bad results". Because they know that bad results won't change your praise for his dedication and effort in the learning process.
3) Life is big, and the stage of the heart is bigger.
Let children know that in addition to learning and electronics, life is vast and multi-layered. Spend more time with your children and take them outdoors to feel the sunshine, rain and dew, and feel the magnificent rivers and mountainsTeach them to read, let them experience the warmth and coldness of human feelings in the book, and learn to be grateful and empathetic;Exercise with your child and experience the vitality of life and the passion of blood.
Tell your child that learning is important and that play is fun, but that life is richer and more fun. Reading hard in the cold window, you can also experience the coldness of time;If you live in a corner, you can also yearn for the sea of stars. Let their minds not be confined to the desk or screen, but see and feel the outside world.
4) The power of example
Parents are the best teachers for their children, even if you do the above three points well, but if you go home and lie down and brush your mobile phone, put down your job and play games, then all your persuasion and rhetoric will be greatly discounted in the eyes of your children. First of all, you have to make yourself a person who loves life, is full of curiosity, and has a positive pursuit and motivation for life, so that children can experience and feel it in your words and deeds.
Teaching by example is better than words, the power of example is enormous, and the growth of children is actually the second growth of all parents.
Summary: We have devoted three chapters to "Children Surrounded by Electronics" because in today's online age, children will inevitably have access to and use of electronic devices. And this behavior and the negative consequences it brings are also more and more deeply affecting the child's learning status and behavior pattern. Limiting use, bringing realistic appeal to children, cultivating children's interest in larger aspects of life, and the power of parents to lead by example are some good ideas and methods to guide children to use electronic products correctly. Actively communicating with children, using these methods and sticking to them, can help children enjoy the speed and convenience of online information while avoiding addiction and addiction, so that they can make full use of resources and stay on the right path.