My girlfriend is very resolute after breaking up, how can I get it back?How to get my girlfriend angry and want to break up
Sometimes, it's much harder to get your ex-girlfriend back than it is to get your ex-boyfriend!This sentence does not simply boil down to "women chasing men across the veil, men chasing women across the mountain", but because male thinking is not suitable as a "redeeming party", and "female thinking" is not suitable as a "redeemed party".
You may think that there are many cases of girls around you who have successfully saved their feelings.
This question relates to the difference between a "fake breakup" and a "real breakup".
Girls after a breakup can be divided into two types:
If you coax it, you'll come back (fake breakup);
Silently resolve to leave, no matter how much you pestering and pleading (true breakup).
01 There are many successful cases of recovering girlfriends in life, because a large proportion of them are fake breakups, and as long as the girl is coaxed, it is easy to get back together.
In a relationship, most girls tend to think tentatively, while boys are more inclined to make decisions.
Many times when a girl proposes to break up, it is not necessarily that she really wants to end the relationship, but that she wants to express her dissatisfaction or warning in this way, perhaps because of a certain behavior of the other party that caused her unhappiness, or because of her insecure personality and often cranky. They need to regularly confirm the level of concern for each other and propose to break up to see if the other person will stay.
Do you now understand why there are so many examples of girls being successfully redeemed?
Since none of these are actually real breakups, but so-called "fake breakups", there are no emotional problems between the parties. On the surface, the separation with great fanfare is actually just a way to release emotions. As long as you can coax such a girl, you can get back together.
Due to the increase in the number of girls who tentatively propose to break up, there are more cases of boys successfully recovering fake breakups from girls. As long as you succeed in calming the other person's emotions and improving the way you get along, it is really not difficult to rebuild the old friendship.
This is the first type of girl I mentioned earlier.
02 A woman who has a very resolute attitude towards breaking up has a negative psychology towards you and the relationship, and your explanation and redemption will only aggravate her disgust, and she will not even give you a chance to show change at this time.
The second type of girls is different, they may choose to set off on a sunny afternoon, wear the most ordinary clothes, pack their luggage, and leave silently, just like the modern Xu Zhimo does not take a cloud. Everything is so natural, so silent.
When you react to chase them, you realize that it's too late. They left not because of mood swings, but because of despair that had piled up over a long period of disappointment. When girls think that there is nothing to cherish in the future, their love thinking disappears in an instant and is replaced by a super-rational brain.
Don't expect to coax the big pig's trotters back with exciting words or actions.
This is the second type of girl that I mentioned.
Only in this way can it be called a "true breakup", and the reason for the other party's departure is caused by the disappointment accumulated over a long period of time. This makes the girl have a negative impression of your future prospects, causing her to no longer want to be full of expectations for you, no longer willing to believe in you, and no longer willing to give you any chance.
Just as Mr. Connor, a well-known domestic emotional expert and founder of the Broken Mirror Reunion brand, put forward the "negative psychology".In fact, when the other party proposes to break up with you, it means that he and she have already denied everything about you, and any explanation you make to her will only aggravate this kind of negation that he or she has towards you. ”
When a girl has a crush on you, she will think you are handsome no matter what you do. And when a girl doesn't like you, even if you're playing golf, she will feel like you're doing something meaningless. And in order to reduce the pain and strengthen her determination to break up, she will subconsciously deny the past experience and you as a person, and strengthen the choice of the present by belittling everything in the past.
After a guy breaks up, he will occasionally miss the strengths and benefits of that girl, and the girl will confide in her ex-boyfriend in the process of complaining to her girlfriend about her ex-boyfriend in vain to seek support.
03 How to get a girlfriend back after a real breakup?
(If you are a man with strong executive skills and emotional stability).
In most of the articles, including the actual operation, there are six main steps to getting your girlfriend back:
1.Identify problems and correct them, and lower your ex-girlfriend's defenses.
2.Self-improvement, transformation of the outside and inside, enhancement of charm and capital.
3.Reconnect and do everything you can to promote communication and a sense of connection.
4.Show your changes in getting along, rebuild relationships, and improve your comfort.
5.Increase emotional concentration, promote emotional warming, meet-and-greet, intimate behavior.
6.Resume lovers getting along, increase things to look forward to together, establish more intersections, confirm relationships, and stabilize relationships.
In fact, this is the recovery process of "secondary attraction". No matter how many articles are written to save your girlfriend, everything changes from the original, and the logic is the same, which is nothing more than repeating the same content repeatedly in your own unique expression.
Indeed, recovering oneself is the process of improving one's self-worth, increasing the bargaining chips for getting along, creating the possibility of continuing to get along, and finally achieving the second attraction and redemption success.
These methods are actually more suitable for men who maintain an objective style in their relationships, who have self-control and execution, and will not be unable to control their emotions and further arouse the disgust of girls;They will accumulate experience step by step, combined with the feedback of the other party, and constantly adjust, so there is a great possibility of compounding.
But in reality, there are many men who are not very emotionally stable, or have done a lot of behaviors that stimulate their girlfriends at the beginning, or have done a lot of things that make girls very disgusted when they get along, resulting in a breakup now, under the influence of girls' negative psychology, they completely resist, and in order to consolidate their decisions, they often subconsciously react negatively to their ex, thinking that no matter what men do, they are wrong. This mindset can prevent men from showing their worth.
04 The ex-girlfriend has a resolute attitude to break up, produces a negative mentality, and does not give a chance to get close and show?
Try the unconventional redemption method!
Mr. Connor explained"All curiosity comes from the abnormal. Habitual things don't make people curious, and doing something different can make people want to understand why you do it, so it's easier to arouse people's curiosity when it's unusual things. ”
At the time of redemption,The unconventional operation is not to let you deliberately annoy your ex-girlfriend and make her bored, but to implement the "sense of subversion" and "reversal" in the process of getting along, so that she can't accurately predict what you will do next, make her unsure of your true thoughts, and make her curious about you.
When a girl's disgust with you is very high, your wrong behavior will be constantly amplified, and she will keep whispering to her, making a series of empty promises and constantly apologizing, and even deliberately showing off her lost appearance on social ** to win sympathy, or do something unattractive to brush up her existence.
Please double-check to see if what you're doing is one of these.
You think you can move the world, but in fact you are playing into the hands of the other person, making them disappointed in you, no longer expecting you, and even looking down on you.
So please stop this act of submission and groveling, which will only further reduce your worth without counterproductiveness!Don't ask why, even though I've done this, I still can't get her forgiveness.
As Mr. Connor said in 2014"In fact, human nature is cheap, and we don't cherish what is readily available. What we cherish is something that is hard-won or something that we have been striving for but still not getting, even if it is not necessarily better than the one that is readily available, it will still become a dream of yours. It's the same when we make it back, when your sense of need is too high, the other party will think that you have it at your fingertips. ”
Every time you get along, if the girl still keeps in touch with you, and you are always suspicious, trembling, and communicating with the fear of her leaving, your posture is very low, excessive tension will expose your high needs, your love and companionship will seem cheap, and you will be more passive.
To regain her attention, you need to create a sense of disruption. She thought you'd choose to go south, but we chose to go north.
We need to take every opportunity to make a good impression because the girl may not want to have another one because the contact is uncomfortable (awkward, stressful, boring, irritable). Therefore, we should seize this only opportunity to show our own change.
She thought we would be humble and careful, but in fact we communicated with her at a higher level of thinking, confident, relaxed, generous and honest.
She thinks that we haven't made any progress yet, crying like little boys, when in fact we have become mature and fully capable of taking responsibility.
She had expected us to let her down as we had done before, not understanding what she really needed. But in this communication, we conducted an in-depth investigation of every problem in the past, directly revealing the pain points in the other party's heart, making everything very clear and clear.
"He and she denied you before breaking up with you, and (when you don't refuse to break up, but) you agree with his decision, and he or she (habitually) has to deny what you approve of in order to form his own consistency, which will cause him to have a cognitive imbalance and not know whether the breakup is right or wrong. ”
This sentence is a bit of a winding sentence, which actually means that when a girl is confused by your behavior and begins to question whether the decision to break up is correct, she will realize that she may have been a little extreme in her previous relationship and misunderstood you, you are not so bad, and doing a lot of things may not be as she imagined. When the girl's subjective consciousness is reversed, the chances of a successful reunion will be greatly improved, at least she will no longer resist you.
05 What's next?Go back to step 03 and accumulate more redemption chips.
What to do after this?Continue back to step 03, do it down-to-earth, and don't be opportunistic.
It's not enough to just master the routines, and I've already emphasized that you need to know the right path to redemption before you apply them.
In other words, the other party is not stupid, and using these tricks may allow you to win back the girl, but if she comes back and finds that you have not really changed, just like the ** on the instant noodle packaging does not match the real thing, they will still leave you and will never believe you again.
If you really want to redeem yourself, then you need to take practical actions to enhance your personal value. Don't expect to fool the best young women of today with empty promises and sweet words, because such behavior will only see through and fool them.
We can focus our attention on our lives and careers by swapping out decadent avatars and altering overly sensational signatures. We shouldn't be obsessed with each other all day long and neglect our own growth. We should not be deceived by the fact that our ex holds us in the palm of his hand and does not have what it takes to be our ideal partner.
Boys are not suitable as redeemers because they are not delicate in their minds and cannot handle tedious things. However, reunion is a psychological game, not only with your ex, but also with yourself.
These improvements require you to really put in time, energy and even money to accumulate, but after working hard for a period of time, you find that the results are not obvious, and some people will be impatient and give up.
Therefore, before trying to redeem ourselves, we need to reflect and ask ourselves if we truly love each other. Loving and bearing love are two different concepts, and if you don't have the determination to carry out the plan of redemption with sincerity, then you don't have enough love.
If you want to become a man who knows how to precipitate, then go and learn first.