Hello everyone, I'm "he said", welcome to watch "Joke Collection: Misunderstanding - Embarrassing Moments" (Attached: The weather is getting cold, everyone pay attention to keep warm!Merry Christmas to all today!）
I just graduated from junior high school, my grades are super poor, I have nothing to do at home, my father has been looking at me unpleasantly recently, and threatens to separate from me, and my mother always advises me to go out and find a class.
On this day, I took advantage of my parents' noon not being at home, sneaking home to find something to eat, just didn't get two bites, only to hear my father's voice outside: "You are not allowed to eat, give it to me." ”
I was instantly frightened, I hated it, my dad was too ruthless.
As a result, I rushed out only to find my dad saying to the pigsty, "Don't eat it, let me go." ”
AhhLooks like I should go out and get a job, or I can't stand it!
I went to eat buffet with my boyfriend, I ate a little too much, my stomach was bulging, I met my boyfriend's parents on the way, I thought, joked with my future in-laws, and touched my bulging belly in front of the two of them.
Unexpectedly, my boyfriend's mother looked at it and said, "Girl, are you fat again?"It's time to lose **, if you get fat, my family won't be able to support you!“
I was stunned and thought, "This plot is not right, it's not like this on TV!.""Woooooooooooo
I was very nervous to go to class for the first time after graduation, and I was very nervous all the way from the office to the classroom. The first time I gave a lecture, I was already sweating profusely halfway through the lecture, so I went to my trouser pocket to find a handkerchief to wipe my sweat, and I found my girlfriend's **.
The whole class looked at me and was so embarrassed!
At night, I did my hair in the barber shop until more than 22 o'clock, and there was only me and a hairstylist left in the shop, and his girlfriend kept calling him **, and the hairstylist kept explaining: "I really perm my eldest sister's hair in the shop, and I will go back after doing my hair!."”
His girlfriend didn't follow: "Lonely men and widows in the middle of the night, what kind of hair do you do?."”
The hairstylist was helpless, and opened the ** to me: "Look, I'm really doing hair!."With that, he threw his phone aside.
In less than two minutes, the voices of two women came from the other end:
I'll just say, Xiao Wang is not that kind of person, now rest assured!
After a burst of laughter, "Mom, you don't know, the woman who did the hair is very ugly, she looks like a wife in her 50s, I can't ...... if I don't worry."
At this time, the hairstylist hurriedly explained to me: "Sister, I'm sorry, I forgot to hang **!."”
It embarrassed me at the time, does it make sense for this hair to be permed?
I washed a peach in the bathroom today, and I wanted to dry the water on it, but my hand fell into the toilet!
I hesitated for a long time whether I wanted it or notIn the end, I decided that I would still be able to eat it. Just as I rolled up my sleeves and was about to fish, my mother walked in and saw this scene, and said in surprise: "Son, I didn't expect you to be so frugal and actually wash fruit in the toilet!."“
When a classmate and I were about to go to a female classmate, he saw that I was carrying something, and he didn't feel good, so he asked me to go to the fruit market with him to buy apples.
He asked the boss, "Boss, is your apple sweet?"”
The boss said confidently: "Little brother, don't worry, it's not sweet and you don't want money." ”
He said solemnly, "Well,......."The boss is hereNot sweet
At that time, the boss really calmly picked up a few rotten apples next to him and put them up and said, "Child, if the family is in difficulty, if you want to eat fruit, come to Uncle!."”
It made me laugh at the time.
But what I never expected was that as soon as I entered the door, these two classmates came to say: "Auntie, I was in a bit of a hurry to go out today, I didn't bring anything, I'll make it up for you another day, this is what Xiao Zhang bought for you, I brought it up by the way, do you see it?"
The most important thing is that at that time, my aunt washed the apple to entertain us, and I was embarrassed at the time, but this product was still laughing next to me and saying, "Classmate Zhang,."You must have smashed this apple on Newton's head, that must be very expensive. ”
I really wanted to strangle him!
When I was about to leave the mall, the security guard at the door called out to me: "Wait a minute, what are you carrying in your clothes?"”
I angrily lifted my coat and yelled, "It's meat, it's meat!".My own. ”
I drank too much that night, and I went to the bathing center with my friend to take a bath, and my friend wanted to take a bath, but I didn't find a bathing master. He shouted at the top of his voice: "Is there a scrub bath?"Do you have a scrub?”
Suddenly, an uncle in the pool replied, "Young man, rub it for me." ”
At that time, my friend was embarrassed and quickly replied: "I'm not a bath master!."”
I was an obese woman who came to a meat stall in the vegetable market to buy itFour catties, seven taels and five dollarsof pork.
The meat seller said, "It's so strange what you want, just buy five catties!."”
I hurriedly explained: "You don't know, I'm **, I've lost four pounds, seven taels and five dollars, I just want to see how big a piece of meat this is." ”
The master replied on the spot: "You are better than a pig!."”
It embarrassed me at the time!
My girlfriend and I were dating in the cinema and the first time I kissed her, I almost threw up because I wasn't used to the taste in her mouth.
I said to her, "Let's stop kissing in the future, okay?"”
She said, "Okay!."”
When I was wondering, she said to me, "I can't stand the smell of garlic in your mouth, I'm vomiting sour water." ”
I was so embarrassed that the whole movie theater laughed
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