There is a cloud in the Analects: "A word will prosper the state, and a word will lose the state." "The importance of words goes without saying. In everyday interactions, there are always people who talk like machine guns, either talking endlessly, or saying nothing and aggressively. However, inadvertently, it is possible to say that your happiness is gone. People with bad fate and poor luck often can't control their mouths and are Xi to verbal flamboyance.
01 Talking back, causing anger. Xi's habitual rebuttal is not only a manifestation of low emotional intelligence, but also a starting point for irritating others. Even if there is a mistake in the words or behavior of others, it is necessary to pay attention to the wording and occasion when pointing it out, so as not to hurt the face of others and stimulate their emotions. During the Zhengde period of the Ming Dynasty, Hui County suffered a major drought, and the county guard was busy with disaster relief and praying for rain. Someone ridiculed the county keeper with a poem: "If you pray for rain, all the people will be happy." Last night, I pushed the window and saw the moon. "The poem means that the county keeper prayed for rain for days, but at night he saw the moon and showed no sign of rain. The county guard was angry and slapped the poet with eighteen boards. This person insisted on a hard mouth, saying: "If you compose seventeen words of poetry, you will be punished for eighteen battles, and if you write ten thousand words, you will be killed." "The county guard was so angry that he smoked, and this person's ending was even more tragic. In dealing with others, if you blindly talk back, it is easy for the situation to expand and form a confrontational situation. Even in the family, talking too much can lead to a relationship that stiffens and your loved ones no longer support you.
02 leak your mouth and expose the ugly. When Wang Yangming quelled King Ning's rebellion, he deliberately let several soldiers be caught by King Ning, and the soldiers deliberately leaked their mouths and said: "The army led by the emperor is on the way." In King Ning's mansion, there are also ...... molesThe soldiers deliberately leaked the news, which aroused the suspicion of King Ning and introduced an element of uneasiness to King Ning's mansion. It's a way to attack the heart. However, Xi leaking lips regardless of the occasion can cause harm to yourself. Su Shi of the Northern Song Dynasty was dissatisfied with Wang Anshi's changes, and wrote an article mocking the emperor: "Observe that his old age is not troublesome, or he can shepherd the small people." "Directly laughing at the emperor for raising a villain, this is an extremely unreverent sin. As a result, Su Shi was involved in the Wutai poetry case and was demoted many times. It's good to have ideas, but you shouldn't be "outspoken" at every turn. In my hometown, the traditional concept is that leaking money is leaking. If you talk about your family's wealth, it is easy to attract the attention of thieves, and even some gamblers may take the opportunity to get involved in gambling. The ancients often said: "Make a fortune with a muffled voice, and the ugliness of the family should not be publicized." "It's a reminder not to slip our mouths lightly. Saying what you leak is usually not good for you, or what others don't want to hear, and you should pay attention to the ugly side of it to protect your privacy.
03 crooked mouth and spread rumors. There is no need to go down the wrong path in life, otherwise no matter how hard you try, you will only become more and more unlucky. During the Jiajing period of the Ming Dynasty, there was a wealthy man in Suzhou who was called "Huangfu Gong". On the birthday of the rich, invite the people of the village to drink together. The talented Yang Xunji presented a birthday picture with the words: "Mr. Huangfu, the spirit of old health;."Black yarn white hair, turtles and cranes of the same age. This poem means "the old tortoise". It turned out to be a hidden-headed poem, and when the rich man found out, he couldn't stop laughing. Distorting facts can lead to multiple interpretations and, when misunderstood, can lead to conflicts. If the intention is deliberately misrepresented, it will not only lead to misunderstanding, but may also lead to conflict. The ancients had a motto of "a gentleman is as gentle as jade", reminding us to be easy-going and not to be sharp.
04 pointed mouth, causing disputes. There is a cloud in "The Outer History of Confucianism": "Like you, a sharp-beaked monkey gills, you should also pee and take care of yourself." If you don't want to eat a swan's fart. "It's an abusive remark, and it's very impolite. But why do you insult it?Most of them are because they want to resist each other and highlight their own image. As the saying goes, "The weak trample on others."The strong, the people carry the people. "Showing your sharp teeth to others is actually sharpening your own teeth. A county magistrate met a scholar who complained, and the scholar said: "There are four seasons in a year, but this man said that there are three seasons, which is too hateful." The county master did not hesitate and gave the scholar ten boards. The scholar was puzzled, and the county magistrate explained: "The person is a fool, but you are arguing with him, isn't this looking for trouble?""In interpersonal communication, if you talk too much, it is easy to escalate the situation and form a confrontational situation. Even in the family, talking too much can lead to a relationship that stiffens and your loved ones no longer support you.
05 Guiguzi once said: "Those who open and reveal it have the same feelings;."Those who are closed and closed are not sincere. "People who can talk to each other are because they have similar emotions and are honest with each other. If the other person is not sincere, or if you are unhappy with the other person, it is better to remain silent. The advantage of silence is that you can fully express yourself and hear the other person's true attitude. However, we don't always have to be silent throughout our lives, and we still need to speak. Smart people spend their whole lives learning Xi ways and techniques of speaking. Professor Tsang said, "When you speak, you should say the right words. If you are right, others will be right to you. "Speaking should have the following characteristics: timely, well-behaved, in line with people's hearts, and reasonable thinking. It is necessary to be able to understand the current situation, according to the characteristics of the times, be good at integrating into the group, and give people inspiration. In addition, it is necessary to pay attention to morality, abide by the law, avoid involving taboo topics, and do not force reason. When you speak, you should be sincere and touching, care for others with love, add warmth to your words, and be more easily accepted. What you say should be in line with the times, and don't jump to conclusions. In the age of the Internet, information is overflowing, and it is easy to cause rumors when there is a misunderstanding. We need to be wise with information and not to read too much into vague things.
Life needs to keep one's duty, and speak in a measured manner. Cloth and coarse food are here to remind everyone that the importance of words should not be underestimated. Blessings are often lost in a single word, so always be careful to restrain your words. People who are not blessed should examine themselves in time to see if they are not careful. Be a man and keep his duty, and his words must be measured.