I slept lazily on the weekend morning, and I dreamed that I was breastfeeding my son, and suddenly there was a **, and I picked it up in a daze: The weather is good today, let's go play!At that time, I hadn't woken up from my dream, so I muttered casually: Don't make a fuss, I'm breastfeeding my son!There was silence for a while, and ** hung up. I woke up instantly, checked the call log, and it turned out to be my classmate, and it was a boy who had been secretly in love for a long time, but the weirdest thing is: I'm still a single girl!
Chatting with my wife at night: I haven't seen you shopping with your wife lately?Wife: You don't know yet, Hadron is hospitalized!I was surprised: why was you hospitalized?Shall we go and see him?Wife: No!was beaten by his wife, Qiangzi's two goods 200 pocket money a month is not enough, bargaining with his wife, self-inflicted!By the way, husband, how much pocket money do you men have in their wallets?My heart raced and I said, "I don't think men should have wallets!".
With heavy bags on our backs, we came to the busy city, and we gradually got used to the fast-paced life. In order not to leave ourselves behind this era, we have been learning new things on the road full of thorns. Before we came to the big city, we have always had a beautiful yearning for the city, with high-rise buildings, neon flashes, and countless eats, drinks and entertainment. But now I know that the breeze in the evening, the lullaby of frogs before going to bed, the scent of grass in the air, the company of family and lovers are the life we have always longed for.
Let's tell the truth, there is a man in our neighbor who talked about his girlfriend, and his mother-in-law was pregnant and asked for 50,000 yuan, and the man's family refused, and then the mother-in-law recruited the woman back to marry another man, and the bride price was 80,000 yuan, and people didn't mind the woman's pregnancy at all, and took over together, is this true love, this is the real happy father...
When I was in the third year of junior high school, I was facing the high school entrance examination, and the head teacher was very strict. During the lunch break, two students were playing poker, and they were caught by the teacher and called to the office teacher, and the teacher gave them a pair of scissors, and asked them to cut the poker into pieces, and the more broken the better, and the inspection was finished. The two felt fun, cut very happily, and showed it to the head teacher to check when it was finished, and the head teacher said to them with a smile: Fight back!These two are depressed.
For corporate dinners, there is one table for supervisors and two tables for general personnel. The soft-shelled turtles on the table of the supervisor are wild and small, and the two tables of the general staff are farmed and larger. The supervisor came to take a look and asked the waiter: Why is our table relatively small?The waiter said: The two tables are artificially raised, and your table is not human-raised.
When Zhang Shuai heard this, he picked up the envelope and saw it: The Red Cross collects it. I opened the envelope and saw that it was a letter written by the old man himself, which said: I saw on TV that some children in remote areas did not even have a hat to go to school in winter, and their hair was dyed white, and I decided to donate all my life savings. Money is of little use to me, a dying man in his 70s, and the pension that the state gives me every month is enough for me. I hope that the 300,000 yuan can help the children in those poor areas, buy stationery for them, and if the children's families are really in difficulty, they can also use the money to help them, don't let the money go to waste.
Just now, my colleague went out to buy milk tea, and when he came back, the earbuds were still hanging on his ears, I asked him, how long have you listened to the song, don't your ears hurt?My colleague looked up, looked at me, touched his pocket, and oh my God, my phone was gone. It takes half an hour to buy milk tea, didn't he find anything along the way?
Once, the supervisor came to inspect the school and just wanted to light a cigarette - Xiao Ming shouted loudly: "No smoking on campus" The supervisor: "This student is good!".Dare to point out my mistakes!It is true that smoking is not allowed in schools!What's your name?"My name is Xiao Ming......"The next day, Xiao Ming was expelled from school for the reason: to be loud.