When I first met my husband, he said he liked my slim type. But how can he match me, he is so bored that he asks him: How can you not like me?He said then you get fat, I don't like it when you get fat. I'm so angry that I can't lose weight when I eat too much, my eyes can cry blind, he really doesn't want it, I have to lose my sister's tightness....There are a lot of scumbag routines!
On the weekend, I went back to my father-in-law's house with my wife, and saw my father-in-law writing calligraphy, he wrote a poem by Li Bai, and I said after reading it: The font is really beautiful!My husband put down the brush and said to me: Your calligraphy is also good, come, you can also write a poem, see which of us can write better!I humbly said: How dare I compare with you, you must be a good writer!At this time, my wife and mother-in-law walked in, insisted that we compare calligraphy, and said: You two compete, we are referees, and the losing party takes out 200 yuan to treat you!When my father-in-law and I heard this, we shouted in unison: Wife!I don't have any private money!
When the eldest brother saw the neighbors at the door, he pointed at me and said to them, "Look, this is my younger brother, he came to see me from Qingdao!".The voice was full of pride and pride. I suddenly felt a little sad. For so many years, the eldest brother has been worrying about our sister and brother, but we rarely care about the eldest brother.
My sister and I took the bus, because there were too many people and it was a little stuffy, so my sister opened the window a little, and an old man next to me yelled fiercely: "I can't blow the wind ......."Slammed the window shut, and my sister saw that he didn't show weakness in such an attitude, and said very angrily: "Are you ashes, you will scatter when you blow it......."”
My grandfather was bitten by a spider and he looked very depressed, so I was going to get him some ointment, but before I could walk out of the room, I heard him say, "At this age, I can't afford to be Spider-Man." ”
A few years ago, a colleague asked me to borrow money, and I wanted to find an excuse not to lend it to him because of the large amount, so I said to him: I have to ask your sister-in-law about this!He said, "Aren't you unmarried?"I thought to myself, I don't know how to tell you not to borrow it!Things turned out so unexpectedly that the next day he introduced me to a girlfriend who was his own sister!Now that the child is a year old, I just want to know, can he still give me that money?
After the night shift, I went to McDonald's to buy a hamburger, and I saw a couple of young couples in school uniforms sitting inside, who seemed to be arguing while eatingWhat's going on with you and that 96-year-old woman?Nima, an old woman in 96, almost fell to the ground with the hamburger in her hand!
When I came back from shopping, I called a Didi car and came to a BMW, the driver had a big waist and a big gold chain, and kept talking to me about life on the road. He said: "I am a demolition household, five houses, 5 million deposits, I have a car and a house, I have my own business, I am my own boss, I want to be as much freedom as I want, no one can order me except my father." ”
As soon as the baby was born, his wife was the first to teach her to call her daddy. At that time, I was moved, full of happiness, and it was indescribable. In the confinement, he was a cow and a horse, and there was no complaint. Sure enough, later the baby was the first to learn to call Dad, and then countless late nights, when the baby cried and called Dad, I quickly got up to soak milk powder and change diapers, while my wife slept soundly on the side. I realized the deep meaning of it ...
Wife: Did you run out of pocket money last week?Husband: No. Wife: How much is left?Husband: You gave me a total of 10 yuan last week, and I had it all left. Wife: Husband, you really saved money this week, didn't you take the bus?Husband: No, the eldest sister downstairs sent me to work. Wife: Didn't you eat breakfast?Husband: I ate, the eldest sister drove and invited me to eat. Wife: Why is she so good to you? Husband: She said that she made you happy so that she could see me happy.
Boss: Brother, dragon fruit has red heart and white heart, white heart has higher nutritional value, radish also has white heart and purple heart, white heart is more favored by people, so, see we are so ripe, I will give you a 20% discount, it's interesting enough, pay for it!Me: Boss, don't lie to me, your watermelon is obviously not ripe.