Nowadays, in the minds of many people,Raising children to prevent old ageIt is a duty and an obligation, and the idea of a son providing for his father-in-law and mother-in-law is considered to be contrary to traditional beliefs. Mrs. Yang is one such person who holds this view. She has an only sonYang MingYang MingAfter getting married, she moved to the city to live and work, while Mrs. Yang and her wife stayed in the countryside to farm. Yang MingwifeSun Jingis an only child,Sun Jing's parents are retired people's teachers. WhenSun JingAfter his father died of illness, in order to let his lonely mother be cared forSun JingBringing his mother into his own home. Sun JingHer mother receives a pension of more than 6,000 yuan a month, and she chooses to use the money to buy rice and vegetables, and cook three meals for her daughter and son-in-law to prove her worth and avoid becoming a burden. And when Mrs. Yang learned that her in-laws lived in her son's houseRetirement, she was extremely angry. She immediately brought her ownHousehold items, rushed straight to his son's house.
After Mrs. Yang came to her son's house, she rushed to cook for her son and daughter-in-law, and unceremoniously asked her son for money when she went out to buy vegetables. Because Mrs. Yang took the initiative to participate in housework,Sun JingMy mother was given free time. Mrs. Yang took the opportunity to say some cold words to her in-laws, she thought that this was her son's family, according toConventional wisdomThe son only needs to take care of his parents, and the mother-in-law should not be borne by the son. However,Sun JingHer mother is a well-bred person, and she chose to remain silent about Mrs. Yang's words. And the sonYang MingI didn't know that my mother said this to my mother-in-law, because when Mrs. Yang spoke,Yang MingwithSun Jingare all at work.
Yang MingOriginally, I thought that Mrs. Yang was just coming to live for a few days, however, a week later,Yang Mingasked Mrs. Yang when she was going to go home, but Mrs. Yang replied that she was not going to go back and planned to be at her son's houseRetirementYang MingHe was very dissatisfied with this, and he thought that if there was a father in his hometown and Mrs. Yang was in good health, then he should stay with his fatherRetirement, should not live here. InYang MingWhen expressing her opinion, Mrs. Yang immediately became angry and scolded her son loudly: "You conscienceless thing, I brought you up, how can you support your mother-in-law but not your own mother!."”Yang MingHe also replied angrily: "What do you know, my mother-in-law lives with me, not only does laundry and cooking for me, but also uses her pension to buy vegetables and rice, and provides us with food and drink, although you are my own mother, you live with me."RetirementDo you have a pension?Mrs. Yang was speechless for a moment.
Faced with her son's response, Mrs. Yang fell silent. Yang MingIt was decided to forcibly drive Mrs. Yang back to her hometown in the countryside so that she could live well with her father. Mrs. Yang scolded loudlyYang Mingis not filial and thinks that his son is narrow-minded. Yang MingHe could only smile wryly and shake his head, and returned to the city immediately after sending Mrs. Yang back to her hometown.
in ChinaConventional wisdomMedium,Raising children to prevent old ageIt has always been seen as a responsibility and obligation of the family. However, when a child reaches adulthood, providing for both parents becomes a complex issue. Mrs. Yang's point of view is embodiedConventional wisdomThere is a prejudice that children only need to support their parents and do not need to bear the burden of their parents-in-law. This kind of thinking for childrenFamily lifeBrought a certain shock.
However, in modern timesSocialIn the midst of change, mutual support and support between family members is even more important. Sun JingThe mother, as a retired teacher with a pension, chose to live in her son-in-law's house and pass by givingEconomySupport to ease the burden on the family is a positive act. The mother-in-law can help the family in her own capacity, and this way can alleviate the burden of the son and his wifeEconomyBurden, but also a unique family relationship.
Yang MingThe contradiction between him and Mrs. Yang lies in the difference in values and communication problems. Yang MingHe believes that his father is alive and Mrs. Yang is in good health, so she should stay in her hometown and live with her father. He didn't realize that his mother-in-law lived in his house, and in addition to cooking and laundry, he also providedEconomyHelp. On the other hand, Mrs. Yang did not fully communicate with her son and son-in-law, she did not understand her value in the family, and she did not explain that she paid part of the family expenses. This communication problem leads to conflicts and misunderstandings on both sides.
In the family, communication is problem-solvingCritical。Through adequate communication, you can better understand each other's ideas and needs, and avoid conflicts due to misunderstandings. Yang MingShe should explain her mother-in-law's contribution and value to Mrs. Yang, and express her respect and support for her mother's independent life. Mrs. Yang should also take the initiative to communicate with her son and daughter-in-law to understand her roles and responsibilities in the family, so as to reduce conflicts and grievances.
In modern timesSocial, parentsRetirementThe issue is a topic that cannot be ignored. How to reasonably fulfill the responsibility of supporting parents is not only conducive to family harmony, but also can promote personal growth and development. The following are individuals to parentsRetirementReflections and summaries of the problem:
First of all, understandingConventional wisdomlimitations. AlthoughRaising children to prevent old ageYesConventional wisdomof one of a kindValues, but modernSocialrequires us to have a more open and inclusive mindset. Parents are being discussedRetirementWhen it comes to problems, we should go beyondConventional wisdommake reasonable arrangements according to the actual situation and the needs of both parties. Second, maintain good communication and understanding. Communication between family members is problem-solvingCritical。Develop good communication Xi, express your ideas and needs in a timely manner, and listen to the opinions and suggestions of others. It is only through mutual understanding and consultation that we can find something that suits everyoneRetirementArrangement.
At the same time, the responsibilities and obligations of all parties should be clarified. Both children and parents should be clear about their presenceRetirementresponsibilities and obligations on issues. There should be enough for the childrenEconomyAbility and time to take care of the needs of the parents, and the parents should also understand the childrenEconomyand life stress, and actively provide help to families.
And finally, **andSocialAdequate support and safeguards should be provided. ** Can be perfected by buildingSocialRetirementThe insurance system and the provision of related free medical care to alleviate the family'sRetirementBurden. At the same time,SocialMultiple forms should be encouragedRetirementpatterns, such as:Retirementhospitals, community services, etc., provide a variety of choices for the elderly.
All in all, parentsRetirementis a complex and important issue that requires families,Socialand ** work together. Through good communication, clear responsibilities and joint efforts, we can find the right fit for our familyRetirementmodel to build harmony and happinessRetirementLife.