Dignity is not given by others, but earned back by your own efforts, and in any intimate relationship, you need to remember this clearly and rationally, only in this way can you take the initiative and reap the happiness you want.
The reader (Shu Lei) once told me her story.
Shu Lei and her husband are college classmates, their family backgrounds are not equal, Shu Lei is a girl from a small county, the family's economic level is average, Ying worked hard to be admitted to college, exuding her own unique personal charm, won the favor of her husband.
Shulei's husband Ruofei (pseudonym) is a real rich second generation, with money in the family, no worries about the economy, and there is no shortage of outstanding women around him, but Ruofei fell in love with Shulei at first sight, never forgot it, and launched a bold and passionate pursuit.
Shu Lei knew the economic gap between the two, and she didn't commit to it at the beginning, and she could see that Ruofei was completely different from the rich second generation she imagined, and she didn't have the bad habit of extravagance and waste, and she would slowly open her heart.
The two decided to get married after graduation, and couldn't stand Ruofei's request, Shulei moved into Ruofei's house, and soon became pregnant, had a child, and the marriage schedule had to be pushed forward, and her mother-in-law was unwilling to give more dowry, so she fell in love with Shulei first, and did not listen to her parents' advice and did not go back to get married.
Shulei's work foundation, which was unstable, quit her job after she became pregnant, and at her husband's house, she just saw the child's face, and her mother-in-law was obedient to Shulei, and after the child was born, Shulei's attitude changed 180 degrees.
The disharmony in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law made Shu Lei, who originally had a slight postpartum depression, feel even worse, they often complained in front of their husbands, but fortunately, the husband could understand from the position of his wife, although he was occasionally unhappy, but the days stumbled and could continue.
From Shu Lei, who came out with her children, returned to the workplace, and changed back to her once radiant self, calmed down and carefully recalled the process of her mother-in-law's many changes in face, Shu Lei realized that a woman who can make her husband's family look down on her has these three characteristics.
If you get something that doesn't require much effort and can be smoothly owned, it won't be well cherished.
is not married, Shu Lei is pregnant with the other party's child, from Shu Lei's point of view, having a child for love is a manifestation of loving someone to the extreme, and she is willing to take the rest of her life to risk with each other.
Kexin stood in the perspective of her mother-in-law, but she felt that Shulei didn't love herself, and rushed to the door to marry her son, since she had already got her hand, there was no need to continue to pay a high price.
If something is easy to get, it will not be cherished, on the contrary, it will require a lot of hard work to get, but it is more likely to be seen as an asset.
The days after marriage are very long, and in order to be highly praised by the mother-in-law, you need to be cautious before getting married, if the relationship between the two is not determined, the girl should not go to the boy's house to live, and do not discuss anything on the premise of being pregnant with the other party's child.
The vigorous love you understand may not be a manifestation of self-love in the eyes of the other party, and the attitude of rushing into the door will lay hidden dangers for future relationships, making your in-laws feel that you are worthless.
Wu Min in the play is still a housewife, who has been ignored by her husband Lin Qingkun for a long time, and has been greatly wronged and disrespected, until after the divorce, Wu Min returned to the workplace to become Jinguang Self and became her ex-husband Lin Qingkun, but she remarried her ex-wife with apologies.
Whether or not a man promises "you are beautiful, I earn money to support the family" when he gets married, the real reality is that when a woman loses her charm around the family, this sense of worth is not cherished by her in-laws.
Just like Shu Lei's mother-in-law, she takes it for granted that Shu Lei takes her children at home, and it is what every woman should do after becoming a mother, lacking the ability and opportunity to earn money, Shu Lei was looked down upon by her mother-in-law, and it was not until she returned to work later that the relationship between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was eased.
A really intelligent woman does not pin all her life on the man and his family, excessive parasitism is a human consumption, living on her own dignity, even if she does not have much money, she will not be despised by others.
The relationship between people will reach a state of balance in the process of exploration. If one person is too strong and the other person has no bottom line of obedience, such a relationship is undoubtedly pathological. Over time, a person who is too submissive will feel inferior and let the strong person be above him.
is like Yang Zhenzhen in the TV series "The Third Daughter of the Xia Family", who got along well with her mother-in-law after marriage, so that the other party did not dare to fight back without beating or scolding, not only did not let the other party restrain her arrogance and arrogance, but was even more brazen, and said anything ugly.
If a person is too kind, it is giving others the opportunity to bully themselves, and kindness in some ways can win the respect and awe of others.
Shu Lei chose infinite obedience when getting along with her mother-in-law, which invisibly connived at her mother-in-law's criticism of herself. If you are picky for the first time, you can have a reasonable rebuttal instead of blind obedience, and in the course of future relationships, it is inevitable that the mother-in-law will think twice before expressing her opinion.
In any intimate relationship, obedience means caring, but if there is no bottom line and principles, it is giving others the opportunity to disrespect themselves.
Married life occupies two-thirds of life, and the later days are bitter and sweet, in fact, it is already doomed.
When it comes to managing a marriage, those who can realize this first know what kind of attitude and way they should get along with their in-laws and take it into their own hands.
Although a woman will understand these truths sooner or later after experiencing marriage, the life of the person who understands first and the person who understands later is completely different.