Recently,"Mundane stigma".Quietly became popular on the Internet.
Those ordinary people who feel that they are worthless are called senior patients of "ordinary stigma disorder".
They are enveloped by the exquisite life and dare not share their overly ordinary daily life.
But now, at a time when there is "exquisite packaging" everywhere, the daily life of Shandong boy Yu Wenliang is called the antidote to ending "ordinary shame" by netizens.
* In it, Yu Wenliang sat in a restaurant and skewered, sat on a motorcycle and hummed a song with incomplete tones, and cheered loudly and excitedly watching sports events.
There are no bells and whistles to show off, and there is no eye-catching outrage, there are just simple and real life.
Netizens said: "Seeing that he has no packaging, only his real appearance, instantly cured my 'ordinary shame'." ”
yes, I don't know when
We work hard to gain outside recognition;We put a lot of effort into dressing up, just to show our "dreamy" self.
In the end, we live as someone else, but forget about ourselves.
In the British psychologist Robert Debord"Mr. ** goes to see a psychiatrist".There is also such a person who falls into "ordinary shame"**
*Since childhood, Mr. has been striving to become an "excellent person" in the eyes of the outside world. As a result, Mr. ** became depressed.
In the end, with the help of the counselor Heron, Mr. ** cured his "ordinary stigma disorder".
The Ordinary World" says:
In this world, not all reasonable and beautiful things can exist and be realized according to one's wishes.Once upon a time, we thought that achieving extraordinary things was our goal in lifeAfter reading all the vicissitudes of life, I found that the ordinary is my ultimate belonging. If you also happen to be caught in internal friction and pain, you might as well take a look at this ordinary **bumpy life experience and find the answer from it.
All along, Mr. ** is enthusiastic, cheerful, well-dressed, adventurous, and does not easily get angry with friends.
Suddenly, one day, Mr. ** changed:
He was curled up on the couch, his eyes hollow and unfocused.
Not only that, he gave up dressing up, was sloppy every day, and often listened to sad **;Every late night, he wept bitterly in his room, thinking that he was a waste.
Seeing this, the mole found a psychological counselor, Heron, to help ** get out of the predicament.
After the heron's enlightenment, the reason for Mr. **'s "depression" surfaced.
It turned out that Mr. ** seemed to have no worries about food and clothing on the surface, and his family was rich, but he was extremely sensitive in his heart.
*'s father never allowed him to make his own decisions, he always decided everything for ** without authorization:
When I was a child, my father sent ** directly to a private school, regardless of choosing a Latin major for **;After graduating, he asked him to inherit the family business without asking about **'s wishes.
In his memory, his father said the most, which was "not allowed to do this" and "not allowed to go downstairs".
Under the pressure of his father, ** had to inherit the family business.
After his father's death, ** worked hard to run the manor business, but everyone compared him to his father, and no one cared about his emotions.
His friend Old Badger always lectured him sharply, poked at his sore spots, and then asked him to correct them.
He did everything according to the old badger's advice;Even when he made a mistake, he would apologize according to the badger's request.
In the end, ** was depressed in his heart and borrowed alcohol to kill his sorrows, stole the car after getting drunk, and ** went to prison.
I've heard a saying:"People live once, and their reputation is ruined by others, and right and wrong are in themselves. ”
Many times, we live in other people's standards, but the more we want to prove our worth, the more we care about other people's evaluations.
However, getting caught up in other people's evaluations will only disorient and consume yourself.
Instead of blindly waiting for the approval of others, it is better to be clear about your goals and live your life according to your wishes.
In life, only by following your own pace will you live more easily and freely.
*The first time I came to Heron Kozuku, the counselor Heron asked, "Who asked you to come?".”
* Answer without thinking: "River rats." ”
But the heron reminded him:"You're the only one who can make you come. ”
At first, ** didn't agree with this sentence, but later gradually understood that he needed to take responsibility for his own life.
* Lack of self-confidence all the time, feeling that they are worthless, and falling into self-criticism.
But now, he is beginning to accept all his past experiences, good or bad, to understand and respect his own behavior, to think independently, and to change step by step for the better.
He began to allow himself, to express his anger at the things he was dissatisfied with, to express his attitude to the badger, and to bravely refuse the badger's request for him to give up his position as a school director
Start having lunch with river rats and moles, take the initiative to talk about your problems, and patiently listen to your friends' opinions.
There is a saying:
Fall in love with your imperfect self, change what you can change, and accept what you can't, then no matter how ups and downs life is, we can live a peaceful and harmonious life.
In life, most people have the shadow of Mr. **.
When there is a mistake in the work and is criticized by the leader, I always feel that I am terrible, so I fall into self-doubt;
When I was assigned a job by my parents that I didn't like, I was obviously unwilling, but I habitually chose to compromise;
When your friends don't understand you and accuse you of not being good, they always silently choose to endure it;
This is because we have not yet accepted our true selves, and only by accepting our imperfections can we begin to change.
There is a saying: "The so-called growth is a process of discovering and accepting one's ordinariness, and reconciling with the ordinary is the only answer to let go of our anxiety and painful obsessions." ”
There is no shame in accepting the ordinariness of life and reconciling with one's ordinariness.
Ordinary life is also meaningful.
Truly mature people will prove themselves with ordinary life, live well, achieve their goals, and make ordinary life more exciting.
At the end of the story, ** built a new residence on the other side of the beautiful river and started his ordinary and beautiful life.
He repaired the previous broken row, rowed once, and felt the happiness he had not seen for a long time.
He resumed his hobby and became the president of the cricket club.
In order to celebrate him, everyone gave him a new bow tie and a celebration banquet, which made him feel very warm.
At the banquet, everyone drank together, sang songs, and talked about the future.
* He also told his friends about his detailed plan, and everyone was impressed with him. Even the usual stern old badger began to recognize him.
In the end, he sold the ** manor and said goodbye to his past self completely.
There is a quote in The Moon and Sixpence:
"I tried my best to live an ordinary life. ”
The happiness of life is never about those who have achieved fame, but about finding the meaning of life and finding their own value from the ordinary.
I think of the story of Zhihu netizen @学来.
He shared his recent situation online with the caption: "I am very happy. ”
He will keep working hard because he has a job that he loves;I will feel happy because I am married to the girl I like;
You will be happy because of the empty seats on the bus when you are tired;You will be satisfied with the successful completion of the project and the recognition of the leadership;I will be happy that my parents are in good health.
Everything is ordinary, but it is precisely because of these ordinary little things that ordinary life becomes warm and exciting.
Life is a process of going to the ordinary.
To be an ordinary person is never to compromise with fate, but to reconcile with oneself;
Ordinary is not mediocre, but a life in which you gradually become clear about your goals and work hard in the process of growing up.
Once, I always competed with others and longed for recognition;Now, I have learned to face the evaluation of others and accept my own imperfections.
Zhou Guoping once said:
There are three times of growth in life, one is when you find that you are no longer the center of the world, the second is when you find that no matter how hard you try, you can't do anything, and the third is when you accept your ordinariness and enjoy it.In life, most of us will eventually return to ordinary firewood, rice, oil and salt.
Work on a regular basis, and work hard for your dreams in your spare time;
Marry and have children with your beloved, and grow up with your children together
Go on a trip with your family on the holidays and go to a party with friends on the weekends to chatFind joy in ordinary life.
In these ordinary days, we put on armor, deal with the good and bad of life, and gradually turn ourselves into warriors.
Born ordinary is the background color of life, and only by living an ordinary life well can life be complete.
The new year is coming, I hope we have a tiger in our hearts, smell the roses, and find extraordinary touches in every ordinary day.