"The Chinese drama is too far away to be played!"The mother who stole her daughter's notice changed after the fortune telling
Some time ago, an incident attracted widespread attention: "The mother withheld her daughter's admission letter and prevented her from enrolling in college".
Jiajia, a 17-year-old girl from Chongqing, was successfully admitted to the ** Drama Academy, which should be a thing worth celebrating and proud of.
However, it is a pity that after leaving a "sorry", the mother took away and hid her daughter's admission letter, ID card, household registration book and other documents.
Her reason is that Beijing is too far away from home, and she hopes that her daughter can stay in Chongqing and become a teacher for the rest of her life.
For her personal desires, she did not hesitate to ruin her daughter's bright future, and this excessive desire for control made people shudder.
Fortunately, the girl successfully contacted the staff of the Chinese opera and successfully completed the registration.
However, it didn't end there. After Jiajia's mother returned home, she handed over the decision of whether to let her daughter go to Beijing to the Bodhisattva, and concluded that her daughter could go to Beijing through divination.
Although the mother reluctantly agreed to this decision, she did not return the admission letter, claiming that she had lost it.
In order to prevent her mother from continuing to obstruct her, Jiajia didn't even dare to tell her the time of the ticket, and planned to leave quietly when school started.
Although the incident has been resolved on the surface, the tug-of-war between mother and daughter has not really ended.
This time it's to prevent her from going to school, will it imprison her next time?
Now I don't want her to go to college, so I hide the notice;Will it interfere with her choice of school in the future, or even control her job and marriage?
I don't want to use words like "ignorant, selfish, feudal, and strong" to describe this mother, and I can understand the mother's concern and dependence on her daughter.
However, this excessive desire for control can be truly suffocating.
Every child has his or her own dignity and agency.
Not long ago, I saw a **, a girl had a birthday, and her parents took her to the photo studio to take a photo. Originally, I wanted to make my daughter happy, but the parents have been engaged in the so-called "aesthetic criticism":
Why did you choose such a pose?Looks like you're doing some weird dance, can't you shoot something normal?”
When choosing **, they kept denying their daughter's choice:
This face is not as good-looking as the front, why do you want to pick it?”
This one looks like a zombie and isn't pretty at all. ”
Under a series of criticisms from her mother, her daughter cried aggrievedly.
Every second of this less than 30 seconds of ** is suffocating, and every second feels distressed for this girl.
Something like this happens all around us every day.
This excessive control over children often continues into adulthood.
Even if you get married and have children, it seems that you still need to be "managed" in the eyes of your parents.
I'm 25 years old, and I still get scared when my mom talks. ”
I'm glad we don't live together, and I'd be crazy to be told that every day. ”
After becoming parents, it's easy to overlook one thing: a child's heart is more sensitive and fragile than we think.
The American psychologist James Dubson once said:
There are thousands of ways to make a child lose their self-esteem, but rebuilding self-esteem for a child is a slow and difficult process. ”
No matter how small it is, it is also a big thing in the eyes of children.
Perhaps children are still very young, and even if their feelings are ignored, they will not be able to resist for the time being.
But one day the child will grow up, and these experiences will become a seed in the heart, which will slowly take root and sprout in the child's heart.
Every child who is neglected because of his inner feelings will fall into deep self-doubt and self-loathing.
This cycle repeats itself and eventually becomes an eternal scar in the depths of the child's soul.
The closer it gets.
The more the child wants to escape.
Some people may say, can't you take good care of your children?
Listen to me: it's already past morning
Our generation grew up with these old family scripts, where parents worked hard to raise their children, and children worked hard to achieve in return for their parents' expectations.
However, the generation of children is instilled with more self-awareness from an early age.
The most profound feeling in this regard is the way Jin Chen gets along with her father in "Daughters' Love".
Jin Chen's father will spare no effort to learn about his daughter's work through various channels, even through his daughter's friends.
However, the closer the father gets, the more the daughter wants to run away.
Jin Chen revealed to the program team that the most troublesome problem with her father is that her father always calls ** to ask about her work and life.
In order to avoid this kind of interference, Jin Chen even chose not to reply to text messages, did not answer **, and blocked his parents in the circle of friends.
Jin Chen doesn't understand his father's love?
Of course I do!She bowed deeply to her father who wrote her letter during the show, her eyes filled with tears.
She just didn't know how to respond to this heavy love.
This generation is more focused on the space of their own existence and the freedom within themselves.
When they enter puberty, they do not want to be a good baby in the eyes of their parents, and blindly follow the advice of their parents.
They need more personal space, and too much worry and interference will only suffocate them.
Therefore, I have always believed that the most important thing for parents to grow up is to respect the existence of their children as independent individuals.
At the same time, we are also individuals, when a child has a problem, there is no need to always find the cause in ourselves, we ourselves are the most important person.
Between parents and children, a balance needs to be found in a symbiotic relationship to achieve complete independence, full understanding and mutual respect.
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