"Wedding, funeral, marriage".Feasting is the most commonplaceNaturally, it is indispensable to "follow the courtesy".This traditional Xi has a history of many years in China.
In addition to these, there is one more important one that is the child"Full moon wine"., which is also something that is usually celebrated with a banquet, and there are some placesThe "third anniversary" of the old man's deathIt's going to be a big deal.
But in recent years, I don't know that a "crooked wind" has blown from ** and has begun to swingEntrance banquet, birthday banquet, housewarming banquetAnd so on, and there will even be some outrageous banquetsDo you have to participate in any of this?
With the increasing number of these "chaotic" banquets, netizens have summarized them by combining the ancient and modern"There are four things that do not follow".and see what they are.
In my hometown, there is such a saying about Sui Li"White things come uninvited, red things don't come uninvited".I don't know if there are such "rules" in your local area.
Because in the village, everyone is more familiar with the old man who diedAs long as you know each other, you can help when you have time, There is no need for the host to invite, but in the past there was still such a set of "etiquette".
The Lord's family meeting that does white thingsGo and ask someone in person, wearing filial piety clothes, kowtow first when entering the door, and inform the elders in the family that they have passed away and need help. And the invitee also needs to hurry to help the person up and agreeWill definitely go and help
But with the development of the times, it is generally passed that there is a white thing happening in the family**Tell friends and familyEven if you are not invited, but when you hear about it, as long as you feel that the relationship is not bad, you can go and help, after all, the deceased is the greatest, that is"White things come uninvited".
As for happy events, it is like whose son gets married or marries a daughter, and does not accept the invitationYou can't take the initiative to go to "join in the fun"., whether the host family is too busy to forget to notify or other reasons, there is no need to attend.
Because there may be something between them, there may be this Xi when there is a festival between two peopleBut one party still participated in the wedding with a "cheeky skin", so it was unpleasantThat's why there is such a saying.
And then there were"Red things don't come if you're not invited".If it is really a good relationship and is forgotten by the main family, that isThe etiquette of the lord's house is not careful, and he does not pay attention to it if he does not goHe remembered afterwards that he forgot to invite you, and he had to come to the door to apologize, and he had to invite you to dinner.
But I know it in my heart, but I don't invite it, which means that the main family may look down on you from the bottom of my heart and don't want to associate with youWhy bother with a hot face and a cold ass, and I was not happy.
But if you really weren't invited,It may also be related to some local Xi, and it is inconvenient to inviteIf you don't invite it, it will also break the Xi or be inconsiderate, so it is averageIf you are not invited, you will not attend, and you will not be courteousIt is better to avoid causing unnecessary trouble.
In our Chinese civilization, there has always been"Courtesy and exchange".Xi customs, but there are only contacts that come and go, and there are contacts that come and go, and there will be such a part from ancient times to the present"Clever ghosts".
In ancient times, neighbors would rush to tell each other about happy events and funerals, invite them to participate or help, but there is such a "calculating" lord, when he hears that the children of the neighborhoods are about to get married, he willIn the first few days out of the house away from home, and when they get married,Whether you are familiar with it or not, you can't wait to invite everyone you have seen, which can be regarded as the ancient "self-familiar".
After a long time, the neighbors also found that he rarely participated in other people's affairs, and only reluctantly participated when he really couldn't excuse himself, and he was still there"Stealing and playing tricks", unwilling to contribute,This also made him no longer invite anything in the neighborhood.
Soon his retribution came, his old mother died suddenly, he ran to tell the neighbors, thinking that he could make a lot of money, but when he came to the door, the neighbors agreedOn the day when he needed to come and help, no one came, and it was then that he realized that the neighbors had already seen through him.
All saidThere are comings and goings, whether it is a funeral or a happy event, there will be from ancient times to the presentMr. Bookkeeper keeps accounts, make a note of what gifts each person gave, and now it's a note of how much money they have with.
The ledger will also be kept until it is waitedWhen you need to return a gift, flip through the ledger and choose a gift of the same value to give backOr just with the same amount of money that was in place.
But no matter what era, there will be some "clever ghosts", and they are now, and there are more reasonsI have something to invite one by one, and when it is someone else's turn, I have all kinds of excuses, either I am not at home, or I can't get through**.
People like thatIt's better for everyone to see through it earlyKnowing that there is no return to the etiquette that he went with, he didn't want to follow it, the meat bun beat the dog for a while, and it would seem that he had no strength to argue with him, so it was better to start itIt's not as good as "going with the courtesy".
In recent years, there have been a lot of big feasts, especially in the past"Banquet for further studies"., This was originally a big family, eating together, as an aunt and uncle elder, it was enough to stuff a red envelope for the child, but it became gradualA big feast, the whole village celebratesthings.
This kind of thing may start with a very good student in the examwas admitted to a university such as Tsinghua University and Peking University, and had to hold a big banquet under the support of the villagers.
Defecate graduallyhave started a big swing banquet,No matter how well the child Xi is, even if it isWhen you go to a technical school, you have to pull up a banner and put it on the tableI want to collect money.
Even the style of painting is gradually outrageous, even childrenThe last key junior high school and key high school have to set up a tableThis kind of isCelebration is fake, accumulation of wealth is realThe banquet is stillThose who do not participate are better
Once you start, you can't stop, can you not participate in this friend's?There is a lot of this kind of courtesy, and when your children go to school, you feel that you will "lose to death" if you don't hold a banquet.
The so-called in order not to reduce this meaningless banquet,Knowing that he was collecting money, he should not participate in it in the first place, otherwise that person would hold endless banquets.
Some are even more outrageousThe "three marriages" have to be put on a big showOrdinary people only get married once, and his three big wedding banquets are not just collecting money.
In the long run, I'm afraid it really willIt's like in the movies"Divorce" is also going to be a ceremony, so it's better not to participate in such a banquet and not to follow the ceremony.
Now there will be a phenomenon that there are more students who are more present among young people, have not been in contact for a long time, and are not even familiar with them when they are in schoolSuddenly there's your **, inviting you to the wedding.
But I haven't seen each other for many years, and I can't even remember what it's called, and suddenly I added WeChat and said that I was going to get marriedGenerally, young people will politely follow a share and transfer money on WeChatAnd said that he was busy with work and couldn't leave.
I'm afraid this kind of thing is not uncommon, which also makes ** seize the opportunity,will add strangers to WeChat or call **, pretending to be old classmates, saying that they are going to get married, to defraud "gift money".The use of young people is afraid of the embarrassment of playing **, and they are also afraid that "old classmates" will ask about the current situation, and then WeChat transfer to chat to express their hearts.
So generally in this case, or verbally agreed, and when the other party asked again why he didn't come, he said that he was busy with work and forgotAfter all, he didn't have any contacts, and he wasn't afraid of offending him.
Besides, this kind of thingYears of not being in touch, a sudden invitation would have been rude,We tooThere is no need to feel embarrassed and inappropriate because of refusal.
At the same time, it is alsoMay be exploitedIt is also possible that you are already married or waiting for you to get married but you can't contact the other party and let the previous "share of money" go down the drain.
The above is what netizens have summarized"There are four things that do not follow"., may not agree with many friends and thinkSince I was invited, not attending the ceremony was a bit of a disgrace or a bit of an inappropriateness.
But please think about it, when this kind of "banquet" becomes more and more, I am afraid that half of the salary of a month will have to go out, and there are still many things that I know will go and never returnI guess no one wants to be the "wronged boss", right?
When their "motives are not pure", they are already being impolite in the first place, so we don't need to be "bodhisattva-minded", we have to learn to be brave enough to say "no" to such things, and learn to refuse.