Confucius said, "If you don't learn etiquette, you can't stand on your feet." ”
"Standing at 30 and having no doubts at 40," he said. ”
When a person stands up, he must learn etiquette and master some social skills.
When people reach middle age, we can't always fight alone, we must learn to borrow the power of society and expand the circle of communication.
In general, it is a very realistic way to socialize with relatives, friends, colleagues and classmates to strengthen interaction and find a time to give gifts together.
In fact, not all people will "buy", the rules about gifts are wrong, gifts and red envelopes are given to the wrong person, and social interaction will be counterproductive.
You should not give a gift unless you have more money to spend.
A person with a bad character cannot be a gifted "person".
Some people have been in a messy circle for a long time, doing something illegal, or used to stabbing in the back. If you're with him, you're going to be infected.
It would have been a happy thing to send a gift, but the other party did a bad thing and had a bad reputation. Once you get in touch with him, you will be looked down upon by the people around you, and even think that you are "complicit" with the other person.
Let's say a thug who is racing on the street celebrates his 20th birthday. You gave him what you wanted, and you may have hurt him. Because of the money, he will soon expand the power of drag racing and continue to cause harm to society.
People with bad conduct can be put in jail at any time, creating social chaos, and everyone will stay away, including you.
Those who oppose you will also be "manipulated" because of this gift.
Middle-aged people, business, workplaces, etc., will come into contact with colleagues and customers.
Not all of your colleagues are friendly to you, and most of your customers are in it for profit.
Intrigue is often happening around you. You can see who's aiming at you.
When you meet someone who is always thinking about you, you should back down, rather than take the initiative to please, usually with a gift, and it is not necessary.
During the Jiajing period of the Ming Dynasty, there was a ** named Qiu Hu. He tried his best to climb up and down. He'll find a way to take down a higher level than him.
One day, Hu Guangtai guarded Fang Lian and Qiu Huan together and gave Qiu Huan 500 taels of silver.
From a human point of view, five hundred pieces of silver are also the cost of travel or a meal of wine. But Qiu took the matter seriously, accusing Fang of corruption and bribery**.
Emperor Jiajing thought it was a trivial matter. But Qiu Huan kept proposing, which led to Fang Lian's dismissal.
With people who are hostile to each other, if courtesy is followed, the end of "sycophancy" is obvious. In the eyes of the other side, interpersonal communication is problematic and hostile.
Relatives who do not want to associate with you will be "left out in the cold".
When people reach middle age, their parents' relatives, you are going to move, their relatives and lovers are also moving, so the circle of relatives is very large.
But you have to understand that not all relatives can repay you.
Some relatives have changed the way they belittle you, and they are not as good as outsiders.
In order to have a good relationship with the best people around him, Dou Ying, the minister of the Western Han Dynasty, took the initiative to participate in the award ceremony many times.
One day, Prime Minister Tian Wei married the daughter of King Yan. The queen issued an edict asking the prince and the royal family to congratulate her.
Each other is a colleague and a distant relative, so it is reasonable to get together and give a small gift. With this idea, Dou Ying went to Tian Jiawei for support.
At the banquet, Dou Ying toasted Tian Wei, but she didn't expect Tian Wei's negligence.
Afterwards, Tian Mouwei falsely accused Dou Ying.
If the other party is unwilling to interact with you, you have to take into account the flesh and blood, or other emotions, and be cheeky to interact with the other party, which is wishful thinking, which will not be cherished, but will be disliked.
Don't put your hot face on someone else's cold face, that will make your heart cold.
Ambiguous friends of the opposite sex, gift-giving is a "** annoyance".
It means that you know that I already have a husband, but you still want to give me a pair of pearls, which won't cause me and my husband to quarrel and be suspicious of each other?
When people reach middle age, most people are married and have children, and they should cherish their small families.
If you have friends of the opposite sex, there is no need not to attend each other's banquets and maintain a bland relationship. Work is work, life is life, and socializing should take place in front of a large group of people, not one person.
If two people have an ambiguous situation, it is even more called to be cautious, and it is best to break off the relationship slowly.
Give a gift to a friend of the opposite sex, and if your lover knows about it, you will be jealous and even lose your temper;The other person's lover knows that it will cause all kinds of misunderstandings and thinks it is a provocation.
When you follow the ritual, the pain of being asked by a loved one, the family will fly. When you think about the consequences, you know you need to discipline yourself.
If you don't follow the instructions, there will be fewer misunderstandings. If the other party is really in difficulty, then borrow money and introduce work to help, and learn to explain clearly.