1When I was in high school, the Chinese teacher saw that the girl in front of me was sleepy, so he asked her to answer the question.
She stood up without saying a word, and stood for two minutes, the class dead silent.
The teacher said helplessly, "Sit down." ”
I saw that the woman sat down and lay down on the table and fell asleep immediately.
At the end of class, the girl turned around sleepily and said to me, "I dreamed just now that the teacher asked me to answer a question. ”
2And there was a husband and wife, and they were very loving. One day, the wife said to her husband, "Let's have three children in the future." The husband was puzzled and asked, "Why?""Because I want them to call ctrl, alt, and delete, so that when I'm angry, I can just shout 'control+alt+delete' to restart them." ”
3 one day. Blackhead sees a beautiful woman in the car. The beauty kept looking at him. Smile at him. The blackhead's face was flushed with shame. A while. The beauty got out of the car. The blackhead also got out of the car. The blackhead followed her. Suddenly, the woman turned around. Asked, "Why are you following me?" said the black head, "You've been looking at me in the car and laughing." Could it be that I have rice grains on my face?The beauty smiled: "I don't wipe it off if I know."
4 I was doing counseling recently, and the doctor said that I had severe narcissistic symptoms. I smiled and said, "You must be rare to see a patient as good as me, right?"”
5 went to the restaurant to eat, the proprietress was very tough, and scolded the boss like a grandson, I couldn't help but say more, and as a result, I quarreled with the proprietress, and took off the apron of the proprietress angrily.
I told my boss that you should not get used to dealing with such a woman, and the more you get used to it, the worse your temper will become.
As a result, my pig's head meat was served, and as soon as I tasted it, it was salty to the Pacific Ocean.
I asked the boss, why is this dish so salty?
The boss said that maybe this pig was too nosy when he was alive, so it was salty!
6 At that time, the whole Internet café was laughing, and the junior high school classmates set up a group to bring all the students in the class in, but they forgot how many people were in the class at that time. While everyone was meditating, one of the students said, "44 people, I'm pretty sure!".At that time, I was the first from the bottom in the exam, and I was ranked 44th!"Everyone unanimously agreed, after all, this spokesman is too authoritative.
7 In the afternoon, I had dinner with my husband at the company, and my husband checked my mobile phone on a whim and found that his caller's name was "my second goods".
He asked me excitedly, "I'm only second in your heart!".Who is the goods?”
I laughed with the people around me, and it turns out that you are really two, husband.
8 My grandmother lives in the countryside, there is an elderly mobile phone, ** down, take out 100 yuan for me to charge her phone bill, I said no need to go, I directly charged the mobile phone, but she looked at me with very suspicious eyes and said, you charge now, I want to see how you stuff the money into the phone!
9A man drove to a psychiatric hospital to deliver something, and just arrived at the hospital, the tire of the car burst.
There he repaired the tires and, carelessly, threw the four screws on the tires into the sewer.
What should I do, he muttered in annoyance.
A psychopath passed by, and after reading it, he said: "You take the remaining 3 tires, pull out 1 screw each, and then install them on the spare tire, and then slowly drive to the city, and find a home to repair the car." ”
The man suddenly came to his senses and said, "Why are you so smart staying in a mental hospital?"”
The patient said, "I'm here because I have mental problems, not because I'm stupid!."”
10 A man drank too much alcohol and picked up someone else's mobile phone and started fighting.
Man: "Hey, hello. ”
Woman: "I'm sorry, who are you?"”
Man: "What do you see?".”
Woman: "I can't see it!?."”
Man: "Then you can tell who it is, right?"”
Woman: "I can't hear either." ”
Man: "I told you how blind and deaf you are." ”
Female ......Hung up.
11 Woman: "What are the conditions for falling in love?"”
M: "A man and a woman. ”
Woman: "Nonsense!."”
M: "That's right, there's a lot of nonsense needed. ”