To be honest, my original intention of chasing the variety show "Love's Study Trip" was entirely because I was curious about Zhu Dan and Zhou Yiwei, after all, Zhu Dan's reputation as "Humble Dan" has long been outside, and I am curious about how such two people get along. However, I didn't expect that after watching a few episodes of the show, their marital status turned out to be the most comfortable and real among the four pairs of guests. 
And in the latest issue of this week, Zhu Dan recalled the past when he was cheated of 20 million and never gave up to repay his debts together, and netizens exclaimed, "It turns out that Zhou Yiwei really saved Zhu Dan's life", and the marriage between the two was reversed like this. This kind of polar reversal, in my opinion, is a bit of a "entertainment first" flavor, and the people who eat melons are nothing more than what they are lively to watch. However, if you think about it carefully, why did their marriage have such a reversal?
There is a mass psychology hidden in this, and it is also the truth of the relationship between men and women:On the other hand, love is pragmatic, and marriage is very pragmatic. 
Zhu Dan was called "Humble Dan" before because she "showed affection" in the show, saying that when she was pregnant, Zhou Yiwei patiently cooked a bowl of wontons for her, she was so moved that she couldn't do it, and specially took photos to record the moment when Zhou Yiwei cooked for her. Li Dan on the side called her "humble", but Zhu Dan retorted that many husbands do not act when their wives are pregnant, and it is very rare for husbands who are willing to cook for their wives.
Now the truth has finally come out.
Why is Zhu Dan so "showing affection" so black?
Because she showed the wrong direction, she talked about the pragmatic side of marriage, and the "love" that the audience wanted to hear was the wonderful part of love, and it was the relatively pragmatic side.
When I watched the first variety show, I felt that Zhu Dan and Zhou Yiwei got along very comfortably, and this comfort was the reality of getting along with them. There is a detail, Zhu Dan said, "I have a feeling that I don't want to move", and Zhou Zhouwei responded: "Then don't move." “
Objectively speaking, is this an effective emotional interaction?It depends on how you look at it.
If from the perspective of love, Zhou Yiwei did not give Zhu Dan an effective response, this is more like coping, Zhu Dan said "I don't want to move", in essence, he sent a signal of longing for emotional attention, but Zhou Yiwei said "Then don't move", this is like when you face a table of dishes and say "I don't want to eat", what you want to express may be "these dishes don't meet my appetite", and the other party directly responds to you "Then don't eat". This is a typical mouth-to-mouth distraction. However, if you look at it from the perspective of marriage, Zhou Yiwei's response has outperformed 90% of Chinese husbands, of course, this is also because the basic plate of Chinese men is too poor, and Zhou Yiwei has achieved the "response to everything" that many Chinese husbands lack. In marriage, if you can "respond to everything and explain everything", you can already be regarded as a qualified marriage partner. The root cause is nothing more than because love needs a high concentration of emotional interaction, and it needs to invest strong energy and full enthusiasm, which is a kind of high-demand and high-peak emotional investment. Marriage is different, what marriage needs is cooperation, cooperation, mutual trust and dependence, and the pursuit of long-term harmony and stability. People like to say that love is "white porcelain plum soup in midsummer, and broken ice hits the wall with a clanging sound", and marriage is "raising the case with eyebrows and white heads". Therefore, there are many retreat elements in love, such as focusing on feelings and atmosphere, and marriage has a lot of pragmatic elements, focusing on realistic needs and interests. This is like Zhu Dan's evaluation of Zhou Yiwei: "Mr. Zhou didn't use that kind of hug or a word, but chose to help me do things that I was so tired that I didn't want to do, and I think his actions are really (to) my loving offerings." ”
The reason why I say that Zhu Dan and Zhou Yiwei's relationship has a sense of reality is because their state is very similar to the traditional Chinese husband and wife model: when people reach middle age, love or not is secondary, and the most important thing is not tired and tireless for a long time. Yang Lan summed up this kind of Chinese-style marriage very well, she said: "In marriage, there is not only love, but also the righteousness of treating each other with all sincerity, the tacit understanding that never abandons, and the unforgettable kindness." ”In the final analysis, Chinese's perception of marriage is still pragmatic, and more attention is paid to the stability and reliability of marriageTwo people in a marriage can hold each other's back. The beauty of marriage lies in the mutual affection, and the beauty of love lies in the rippling passion. Therefore, it is very unpleasant for Zhu Dan to come out alone to show affection, but once you enter the state of marriage between the two, you will feel that their marriage is quite normal. There is a very warm point between Zhu Dan and Zhou Yiwei.
Zhou Zhouwei said to Zhu Dan: "Really, you still have an ability, that is, you can make people like me laugh." ”
Zhu Dan said that Zhou Zhouwei was her reassurance: "Because I am really easy to mess up, he will give me a reassurance, that is, as long as I call him, he will be there." ”
Zhou Yiwei is obviously the person with more stability and energy in his heart, and he can hold Zhu Dan;And Zhu Dan is a more worldly person, with plenty of external vitality and lively fireworks, and she can make Monday Surround reliable.
This is marriage, it is a fit, it is a fit, it is a long-term support for each other, and at the same time, it is also mixed with kindness, righteousness and practical interests. Recently, I accompanied my grandmother to watch the TV series "Parents' Love" again, and after watching this drama again after many years, I suddenly found that An Jie's willingness to marry the eldest boss Jiang Defu was not because of the so-called love, but more because of the measurement of practical interests such as life experience and situation. Although this TV series is called "Parental Love", in fact, what is really touching is not the love between the husband and wife, because there are very few love interaction experiences between the two that can really be called love, An Jie, a woman with such high emotional needs, has lived a lifetime in the face of Jiang Defu, a man who is not even willing to say "I love you", and Jiang Defu's appreciation of An Jie is more than the conquest of An Jie's beauty and cultural literacy. An Jie has so many disappointed emotional expectations, and Jiang Defu also has careful thoughts about An Jie, but their marriage still makes the audience feel and moved, because they can rely on each other and support each other. Jiang Defu sacrificed part of his career development because of marrying An Jie, and An Jie constantly adjusted and sacrificed himself to live with Jiang Defu. People know in their hearts that marriage has its complicated and muddy complexities, and those practical parts become shining places. 
So, don't expect any love and soulmate in a middle-aged person's marriage, you will be disappointed.