The importance of family education is not just an anxiety of modern society, but a problem that has always existed throughout history. Amazingly, in the time of Zhuangzi more than 2,000 years ago, he had already recognized the crux of this problem. There is a story about family education in Zhuangzi's "The World", which tells the arrogant character of the prince of Wei Guo and the plot of his father Wei Wang hiring a teacher Yan Qi in order to change the crown prince. This story not only profoundly reveals the troubles faced by parents when educating their children, but also gives a wise answer that we can still learn from today.
Yan Qi is entangled in how to get along with the prince of **, which is a problem that modern parents often think about. If a child is not educated, he will become a person who is not good for society and the people;But if the education is too harsh, the child may rebel and do things that hurt themselves and their families. Faced with such a predicament, Yan Yu asked Lan Boyu for advice, and Lan Boyu gave valuable advice: "Be cautious about the precaution, and the body of a woman is also good!."The form is incomprehensible, and the heart is inconsistent!”
Lu Boyu's answer gave us some advice. First of all, let us reflect on our own behavior, because our words and deeds serve as role models for children. We can't verbally ask our children to do it, but do the opposite ourselves. For example, if we want our children not to be addicted to mobile games, we should first put down our phones and show them who we can do to stay away from mobile phones. Only if we do it ourselves will the child consider following suit.
Second, we are to be submissive and approachable. Intimacy and building trust are important cornerstones of family education. When we spend time with our children, we try to eliminate the distance between parents and children, so that children feel that we are friends and not antagonists. Although we don't have to aspire to be our children's friends, we should at least make them feel close to them so that we can build a good relationship of mutual trust.
Finally, "the heart is not harmonious", which means to maintain inner harmony and tolerance. As parents, we need to be patient enough to tolerate and forgive our children's mistakes. When a child makes a small mistake, we can't scold or punish too harshly, otherwise it will cause the child to fear and resist us, and even choose silence to express his dissatisfaction. Parents and children should establish a tacit understanding and pursue harmony with each other. Only in this way can education be more effective.
Zhuangzi explains to us the importance of family education through this story, and he reminds us that one of the biggest failures of family education is getting the order of education wrong, criticizing, reprimanding, and punishing children excessively at the beginning. Such an approach would undoubtedly be unwise. Parents should always be aware that in the process of nurturing their children, we must first start with ourselves and set an example to make our education more effective.
There are also many practical educational methods in the story of Zhuangzi, which we can detail in a future article**. But the most important point is to understand the order and importance of education. Only by correctly understanding and following this sequence can we make family education more powerful and provide better guidance and support for children's growth.
To sum up, home education is always a question of how to balance. We should draw wisdom from the story of Zhuangzi, and be cautious, formal, and harmonious. Such an educational sequence will help us to better nurture our children and make them virtuous, responsible, and creative people. No matter how the times change, thinking and practicing about education never stops. Only by constantly reflecting and improving can we make family education glow with new vitality and value in the context of different times. Therefore, let us work together to give children the best inspiration and guidance on the road of family education.