What is "delayed gratification"?
This comes from an experiment done in 1960 by a professor of psychology at Stanford University in a kindergarten
The researchers found dozens of children, put a marshmallow in front of each child, and told them that if they could resist eating the marshmallow within the allotted time, they would be able to get a second one, and according to statistics at the time, two-thirds of the children did not make it to the end of the day.
Only a third of the children persevered and were rewarded with a second marshmallow.
In a follow-up survey later, it was found that most of these children who persevered were quite successful in their studies and careers.
This is known as the "candy effect", also known as the "delayed gratification effect".
In fact, this effect is also applicable now, and if you exchange marshmallows for other items, you may not be able to stick to it.
Because people today generally lack action and endurance, they are always "talking on paper", but they can't do real self-discipline.
I just don't want to do it, I lack motivation
We often talk about **, but we always rely on "thoughts**" to delay action;
I thought I couldn't stay up late, but I still didn't want to put down my phone, "I didn't sleep on my phone, and I didn't sleep either", and I never went to bed early;
Every time I feel bored in my free moment, I always take out my mobile phone for entertainment, and I start from playing in an hour, even if I have something I want to do, I have long been left behind, and it will be tomorrow and tomorrow.
This used to be true for young people who were mobile phone savvy, but now it is true for both men and women, young and old.
Just like the recent explosion of "micro-short dramas", it is actually not an accident.
Its audience is similar to that of short**, which is suitable for all ages.
It is fast-paced and visually impactful, and you can watch many episodes at once during the break, which makes people fall in love when they see it.
It can be seen that all kinds of ** in the outside world make it even more difficult for us, who already lack the ability to act, to act.
This is also the reason why many people have ideas and plans, but there are only a few people who can really change.
It has been said that immediate pleasure is instinct, and delayed gratification is self-discipline. ”
Indeed, people's brains need external stimuli to secrete dopamine, which makes us happy.
Pleasure is our instinct, but we must not indulge ourselves in pleasure, after all, excessive pleasure will eventually lead us to become depraved and decadent.
Therefore, delayed gratification is the best self-discipline for us.
Inability to persevere, lack of stamina
Occasionally, we will have moments when we are lost and unable to find our way.
Even if you have already started to act, because your core is unstable and your heart is not strong enough, you will always be attracted to things in the outside world.
Even the feedback time of the results is too long, and the effort is halfway to think that there is no hope, so I choose to give up halfway.
Writer Sanmao once wrote in the book:
You have to give yourself time, don't be in a hurry, take it one step at a time, and go by one day at a time.
Anything needs to be successful with a certain amount of time and stamina.
As we often say, the iron pestle is sharpened into a needle, and the iron pestle cannot be sharpened into a needle in a day.
It not only takes time to polish day after day, but also requires perseverance to persevere.
As the writer Hugo said:
What the world lacks is perseverance, not strength.
Indeed, it is never easy to give up, but perseverance is the only way to see the light of victory.
The more we are in the fast-paced present, the more we must understand the truth that speed is not enough.
It is also necessary to calm down and cultivate patience, so that we can achieve self-discipline and become a better version of ourselves.
Delaying gratification is true self-discipline
Delayed gratification is written
People who have achieved something in any field are long-termists, because they dare to enter the narrow door and are willing to go the long way.
Sometimes, preparing in advance is just an excuse for your own procrastination.
The longer you prepare, the more you think you're ready, and all you need is the east wind.
As everyone knows, he has already lagged behind others, and when the other party achieves his goal, he is still just getting started.
We need to be long-termists in action, not long-termists in thought, who will only talk but not do it.
Xunzi once wrote in "Persuasion":
Perseverance, rotten wood does not break;Perseverance, gold and stone can be carved.
If you do something halfway, even rotten wood can't break;
If you are persistent, you can carve beautiful patterns even if it is metal and jade.
We are always indulging in the pleasure at our fingertips and enjoying the fleeting pleasures that entertainment brings.
Afterwards, he Xi habitually blamed himself, blaming his decadent self in the past, and the future was full of confusion.
I like what Yang Jiang said:
Flowers have a flowering period, people have luck, you can work hard, but don't worry, flowers are blooming, and fruits need a process.
What we should come to is on the way, what we need to do is to work hard, get rid of the Xi of laziness, and become self-disciplined.
And the success of the two-way run, and the beautiful collision with a full embrace.
Everything is bitter and then sweet, and delaying gratification is nothing more than postponing happiness, and delayed happiness, obtained after hardship, often feels happier.