Recently, I met a counselor, his situation is relatively common, because he himself is the management of the company, so in the usual relationship, he always unconsciously preaches and disciplines his girlfriend, which leads to his girlfriend finally breaking up with him.
I'm here to tell you about a common sense that many people may ignoreIt's the matter of falling in love, it's not a subordinate relationship, it doesn't mean that whoever you fall in love with, the other party belongs to you, and you can do whatever you want, which is a very wrong idea.
Under normal circumstances, you always have to remember that you are two individuals who are moving forward side by side, and if you get along with each other with such thoughts, you will be able to understand why the three behaviors I am going to talk about today cannot exist in the process of redemption.
The first behavior is that you always want to control the other person;
I used to watch an emotional show, in which the boy has a very strong desire to control the girl, and the strong girl thinks it's a nightmare, and then the advice given by the mentor of the program team is that the boy needs to see a psychiatrist.
In fact, the advice I give is the same, if you are really controlling, you should actually see a psychologist.
You can think about whether you always want to control each other's words and deeds in the process of getting along with your partner, or you always make demands with the other person, and do not allow the other party to refute, once the other person refuses your request, you feel that you have lost control of the relationship, and you will be afraid and uneasy in your heart, and then do more incredible things.
If you're this type and you don't think you can change it, take my advice and go to a psychiatrist. Because your significant other will be really tiring to get along with you, and you never think about ittaFeelings, tawill gradually be disappointed and eventually leave you.
The second act is that you desperately desire the other person's love
Because everyone has a different way of expressing love, if you are the kind of person who desperately desires the expression of love, and the other person is a person who does not know how to express it, it is easy for you to have conflicts.
For example, sometimes the other party does something that makes you angry, and you don't say it in your heart, and you long for the other party to take the initiative to come and coax you. In case at this time, the other party happens to have something and does not take into account your feelings for a while, and the insecurity in your heart will come up in an instant.
You will be self-exhausted, and you will keep wondering in the same place: is it that they don't love me anymore, that they don't care about me at all now, that there is someone outside, and so on.
Because of your insecurities, you will keep doing all kinds of behaviors to verify whether the other person loves you.
In this case, your partner will be more patient to coax you and comfort you at the beginning. But this kind of behavior itself is to maintain the relationship on the basis of consuming feelings, and one day when the other party feels tired, you realize that it is useless for you to make trouble.
The third behavior is to rely too much on the other person;
People who are insecure in their hearts, in addition to asking for a response to each other's love, will also rely too much on each other.
There is nothing wrong with the need for couples to rely on each other and support each other. But if you are overly dependent on the other person, and you lose yourself because of the dependence on the other person, then this is not the right attitudeYou are equivalent to putting the weight of your life on another person, and in addition to making your other half more tired, you will not actually be better off.
Because in the long run, you will live a disoriented life, and at the same time, your partner will gradually become dissatisfied with you and want to run away from you even more, and you will be more insecure, forming a vicious circle.
Finally, to sum up,Your life is your own out, love is just a part of your life, under the premise of respecting each other, you found a like-minded person with you, willing to accompany you for a lifetime, this is the meaning of your love.
In love