In "The First Half of My Life", Luo Zijun married Chen Junsheng after graduating from university and working in a foreign company for half a year.
Chen Junsheng promised her a worry-free life and a happy life, so she happily became a housewife, gave birth to children, and ran a family.
She has indeed done her duty as a good wife, her home is clean and tidy, her son is well-behaved and cute, and she never has to worry about Chen Junsheng.
The most important thing is that she did not become a yellow-faced woman, but carefully maintained her beauty and gave Chen Junsheng enough face.
never thought that Chen Junsheng's divorce eight years later would shatter her dream.
She spent eight years proving three heart-piercing truths in her marriage:
01 The alliance is actually a soap bubble
People always like to swear, but as soon as humans swear, God laughs.
I love you forever, and I don't know how far away I will always be and how to ensure that I will always love you.
A lifetime, how long can your life overlap with hers?
Maugham has a quote in "The Veil": "A man loves a woman deeply, but he does not necessarily want to spend his life with her." ”
In fact, many people are willing to make promises and spend their lives, but they don't even know how long this life is.
Xue Zhenzhu said that at the beginning, she disliked Chen Junsheng and looked down on him, but he begged to guarantee Luo Zijun with his life that he would be happy for a lifetime.
Only eight years later, the vow was nullified.
Luo Zijun calmed down and went to negotiate with Chen Junsheng, who said that he would try to maintain her previous standard of living.
In his opinion, Luo Zijun is reluctant to divorce because he is afraid that he will not be able to continue to live a pampered life in the future.
But Luo Zijun told her that she was for him, and she was reluctant to give up on him or this family.
But Chen Junsheng said, "I love her, I love her hopelessly." ”
Luo Zijun said: "You told me the same thing before. ”
It can be seen that a man's oath can indeed be rotten, but it is a promise for a lifetime, not the person on the other side of the promise.
From a human point of view, this vow itself is anti-human, and no one likes a piece of clothing for ten years.
And how can you expect one person to like another person for a lifetime.
If you want a long-term and stable relationship, you rely on the constant freshness and fun that each other's growth brings to each other, rather than how gorgeous the vows are.
No matter how well it is said, if you can't do it, it's all floating clouds. So girls, don't easily believe in any vows, what you have to believe in is always yourself, an independent and excellent self.
02 Don't give up on yourself because of anyone
Whatever the reason, never give up being yourself for anyone.
Luo Zijun used to be an employee of a foreign company, and if she continues to work until now, she is also an executive, maybe better than Tang Jing and Chen Junsheng.
But she gave up on herself because Chen Junsheng said I will marry you and give you happiness and happiness for a lifetime.
Chen Junsheng said that he didn't like women to drink, and she never drank again after she got married.
She remains young and beautiful because she thinks that men like gentle and beautiful women.
The taste of her WeChat nickname is based on Chen Junsheng's preferences.
Chen Junsheng asked her, "What do you think is the meaning of life?"What do you want to do while you're alive?”
Luo Zijun said, isn't the meaning of my life what you gave me, isn't my whole meaning family happiness, everyone's envy, and growing old together.
Since becoming a housewife, Luo Zijun has been lostHerself, everything she does is based on her husband and children, and she never thinks about what she really needs in her heart.
Like a creeper, she is deeply attached to Chen Jun's side, and everything she does is transferred by his will and preferences.
This may be fresh at first, but after a long time, it will be disliked and regarded as a burden.
Chen Junsheng told Ling Ling that she was very good, simple, and ignorant of the world, but she always needed his protection, and he was also a human being and had troubles.
Chen Junsheng felt that Luo Zijun's attachment made him unhappy, so he wanted to get rid of her.
There's a term in psychology called the "Wallenda effect" which means that the more you care about something, the more likely you are to mess up.
Just like when I was studying for a driver's license, a classmate in the same group basically didn't practice much, and her attitude didn't matter.
I've been practicing Xi for a long time, and I'm usually very proficient, but because I'm too worried, I passed the exam several times.
Luo Zijun just cares too much about Chen Junsheng and this family, so he lost himself.
The most stable relationship in this world has never been dependent, but exists independently of each other.
The relationship between people is, in the final analysis, a mutually beneficial relationship, Chen Junsheng and Ling Ling are together because she can provide him with emotional value, and Ling Ling wants to rely on Chen Junsheng to change her life.
03 Divorce is also a fulfillment
The social tolerance rate of "divorce".It's getting higher and higher, but there are still many places where many people have opinions about divorced women.
But I still think that divorce is a kind of fulfillment and self-redemption, don't get married hastily, and don't make any ineffective compromises in marriage.
The most terrible thing in marriage is not the kind that is rotten to the bone and can't go on for a second. Of course, it's not the kind of respectful, warm and happy.
It's the kind that is sometimes insane and sometimes normal.
The terrible thing about this kind of is that because of all kinds of children, because of the economy, etc., couples who can't divorce, but they don't have a good time, and they consume each other in marriage until they are exhausted.
Luo Zijun is a person with ideas in his bones, and Chen Junsheng's determination made her understand that there was no turning back.
So she quickly calmed down and looked for her own way.
In the past, she looked down on the swagger of the congratulatory letter, but when she entered the workplace, she was still able to treat it calmly when Chen Junsheng brought Ling Ling to try on shoes.
When she suddenly woke up, she felt like a dream in the past, but now that she woke up, she tried to become a better version of herself.
Leaving is not to fulfill others, but to fulfill yourself, a relationship that consumes you is the same as a pair of shoes that grind your feet, leaving as soon as possible is the best choice.
04 Write at the end
In the original book, Luo Zijun basically rewrote the fate of the second half of his life on his own. After the divorce, I didn't have children, I found a job as a translator, studied pottery in my spare time, and never wanted to be famous, but later worked full-time and made a lot of money.
is also married to a diamond king who is about the same age as Chen Junsheng.
In the play, she also grew up, but it was mostly achieved with the help of the congratulatory letter, and in the end she did not get together with the congratulatory letter.
Although the divorce has hurt her a lot, it is the best outcome for her.
She has lived a worry-free life for eight years, and once she woke up, she lived a beautiful strong woman in the workplace.
If the marriage lasts another five or six years, or a lifetime, then she will never have the opportunity to be herself again in this life.
People live, life does not bring, death does not take away, but you must let yourself feel that the world is worth it before closing your eyes.