1When I was in college, A liked to get up early to exercise, and once A bought a drawer of xiaolongbao after exercising, went back to the dormitory and put it on the table, and then brushed his teeth and washed his face. When I came back, the buns were gone!A was so angry, so he bought the bun the next day and licked it in front of everyone in the dormitory. When I came back after brushing my teeth, I saw that the bun was still there, but the stuffing was gone.
2The wife said to her husband, "My dear, I have just found out that our marriage certificate has expired. The husband replied in surprise, "Really?".So are we living together illegally now?”
3 Saying that the midterm exam is coming, I am anxious as a team that is about to run to the scumbag. But the scumbag team next to him didn't move. I thought, let's read a book. I went to the Xi room every night after Xi and struggled. I didn't want to take the exam today, but the teacher told me that it was an open book, and you know about the open book?You know how sad I am. looked at the bad friend next to him with a wicked smile on his face. My heart, that's bleeding.
4In the office, an aunt asked a new girl, "Do you have a boyfriend?"The little girl said shyly, "Auntie!."I've always been single!The aunt said, "Then why don't you be my daughter-in-law!."The little girl was even more ashamed and said, "I'm not pretty!."The aunt hurriedly said, "It's okay, it's okay!."My son doesn't have a high eye!”
5 At that time, I was ten years old, I was really pure, at that time in the countryside, after dinner in the summer, the whole village basically gathered on the small river beach to chat and kill time, my house is close to the river, at night, my mother has the Xi habit of going to bed early, so when she lies on the bed, watching TV, and asks me to call my father to come home quickly, I lie on the balcony and shout, "Dad go home and sleep, my mother is already lying in bed for ......."At this time, the people who took advantage of the cool burst into laughter. I didn't even know what adults were laughing at at at the time!
6 I can't hold on to the conversation between my 5-year-old little niece and my 5-year-old son!
Little niece: "I got a certificate last month. ”
Son: "I got two last month. ”
Little niece: "Every time I take the bus, someone else will give me a seat!”
The son sneered: "I have lived for five years, and I have never bought a ticket for a car!."
7. Interior designers, when designing villas for local tyrants, the renderings were printed out to see, in order to facilitate the location of the effect on each drawing, such as the living room, dining room, study on the second floor, etc. I can say when the tyrant and the boss see the mark"Pig nest on the third floor"Is your face green when you render it?The input method of the pit father, can the master bedroom be the same as the pig's nest?
8 My mother was a little fat when she was young, every time I was naughty and she wanted to beat me, I ran, she couldn't catch up, so she waved a few sticks at will, forget it, once she chased me and tripped and fell, and fell into a grinning tooth, I couldn't help laughing, she was angry, chased me wildly in the village, scared me to run up the hill and didn't dare to come back, she shouted in the village: Come on, people, help me catch ++, she was bitten by a dog, ran to the mountain and refused to get an injection!I'm ...... my GodThe whole village is catching me in the mountains!
9 The first time to be a matchmaker, the boy is sunny and handsome, a veteran. The girl is Wen Wanxiu and a certified accountant. And they're all my friends....
Yesterday, the girl after work came to me and said that she didn't want to talk about it, and asked the reason, it turned out that a few days ago, the boy asked her to have a supper, and she encountered a robbery on the way, and the boy fought the gangsters with his bare hands, but the girl was scared. The girl said that he was so good at fighting, and it would be ,...... if he got married in the futureNone of my mother's side beat him.
10When I was not in college, my classmates told me that I must apply for some majors with more girls and fewer boys, so that I can basically have a good career and family after graduation.
I applied for the nursing major with great anticipation because we were all girls!
On the first day of college classes, there were more than 100 women in the class, and I was the only boy, and I couldn't stop laughing in a class.
It's just that later, when I practiced Xi injections, the teacher said that everyone was still unfamiliar, and they could inject each other to practice more Xi, and if girls were afraid of pain, it was best to find boys to match.
So, more than a hundred pairs of green eyes stared straight at me, can this lesson still be taken?!