Dear book friends, welcome to continue to be a guest in the reading circle of little scholars, today we will continue to talk about this book, the weakness of human nature. Today, we're going to take a look at how to dominate interpersonal communication. For example, the author said that the patrol officer of a park said that his task is to prevent the park **, so when he sees that there is a hidden danger, he will go to the punishment, at first he did not master the method, too rough, although some people gave in on the surface, but they were not convinced, but when the patrol was gone, he wished that a fire would burn the park. This in turn poses a greater risk.
Later, when the patrolman changed his words, he noticed that the children around him had become more well-behaved. Instead of criticizing them, he made suggestions that would make it easier for people to reach consensus and avoid conflict. He said, "I don't want to disturb you when I see you having so much fun, but I still hope that you can stay away from the dead leaves, lest they burn." If you accidentally catch a fire, you won't be able to have a picnic here. I hope that everyone can cooperate with each other and focus on safety so that we don't face too much risk. ”
His words, though commanding, were expressed in a tactful way. Instead of directly ordering them to leave the dead leaves, he made a suggestion that made people feel respected for their actions. This makes people more willing to listen to him and more receptive to his suggestions.
This way of speaking, replacing orders with requests, saves enough face for the other party, makes them feel good about themselves, and can be more effectively recognized by the other party. Everyone is careful and cooperates, then the risk of ** will be greatly reduced.
Comparing your heart to your heart is helpful to resolve personal crises, and we have always had a saying that if you don't want others to yell at you, then it's best not to yell at others. From the perspective of others, empathy is the basis for you to be backward compatible, and people who are Xi to empathy may quickly see through the minds of others. Thus inducing the behavior of others. So don't underestimate those **, they are also very skillful when they cheat. Some people say that I can identify ** in one second, but in fact, they deliberately let you identify, in fact, they are screening target customers, so as not to waste time with you, but increase their own risks. So, the result of your identification of him is actually in his calculations.
It's a lot of trouble to get along with people who like to argue and have hedgehogs. Most of them are angry in their hearts, and nothing they look forward to more than being recognized by others. If you can understand their position and agree with their ideas, they will have the most sincere gratitude to you. This is called compatibility, or it varies from person to person, or what it should be. These words sound ordinary, but they are really effective in practice.
Remember, these tips are meant to make you get along better with others, not to punish them. Use them well, but don't abuse them. This way, you'll be able to earn more people's likes and respect. First of all, I would like to say that people's thoughts and desires are different, and this is something that we need to respect and understand. Sometimes, we find that other people's opinions are contrary to ours, and we should not immediately refute them, but find a way to accommodate their ideas. Know that being compatible with other people's ideas is not about pandering to them, but about making our communication more harmonious.
As you said, if we have a conflict in a chat, we may sometimes be tempted to vent two swear words. However, I've found that such an approach doesn't solve the problem. On the contrary, it is more effective when we resolve conflicts in a way that is sensitive to the thoughts and desires of others. In this way, not only can we make the other person feel respected, but we can also communicate more smoothly.
Actually, this is not a compromise, but a kind of wisdom. We need to understand that everyone has their own opinions and ideas, and these opinions and ideas are interconnected. If we can accommodate other people's ideas and respect their opinions, then our communication will be more harmonious. That's why I'm always able to communicate well with different people, because I know how to be compatible with other people's ideas.
So, what I would say is not to refute others easily, but to learn to be tolerant of their ideas and desires. Trust me, when you do this, you will feel more at ease and at the same time, it will also make your communication more successful.
The author tells an example of one day when a landlord received a request from a tenant who told him to move out immediately. This made the landlord very angry and annoyed. But instead of making a big noise, the landlord chose a smarter approach. He said: "I have seen your character, and I believe that you are not the kind of person who does not keep his word. Please let me know if there are any difficulties and don't rush to make a decision. You go back and think about it first, and then tell me your decision at the end of the month. If you decide to move out, I'll admit to seeing the wrong person. "The idea may seem simple, but it gives the tenant a lot to think about. A month later, the tenant returned to the landlord and he discussed it with his wife and decided to continue renting the house instead of moving out. He appreciates the trust and support of his landlord and realizes that he has a responsibility to maintain that trust. This story teaches us that sometimes, we need to use our actions and words to inspire the noble sentiments of others, so that they can recognize their mistakes and change their behavior more positively.
When we talked about Wang Yangming before, we realized this: even if he is a "thief", he will look for a banner for himself to "do the right thing for heaven" to show his righteousness. In everyone's heart, they think they are right and have a noble sentiment. Therefore, instead of directly exposing his hypocrisy, it is better to hold the other party higher.
For example, there was a joke circulating on the Internet: a young man went to a massage parlor to consult**, and the clerk told them that this was a regular massage parlor. At this moment, the young man is in a dilemma, after all, if he leaves, he will appear to be very dishonest, or he is a bad person. But if he stays, it is so expensive that he can't accept it. This is what we call "wearing a high hat", in this way to hold the other party higher, and it will naturally be difficult for him to refuse.
In actual sales, this technique is often used. Even the ugliest person, as long as he wears good-looking clothes, you will praise him for his temperament and style, as if he is the most handsome person in the world. Of course, in this world, no one likes to be deceived and perfunctory, but when a person is praised higher and higher, it will become more and more difficult for him to give up this feeling, and he will even accept your sales pitch unknowingly. It's like a kind of "kidnapping", but in reality, it's a very effective sales technique. In his research, the authors found two creative inspirations, one from the clever artistic exaggeration of television commercials, and the other from the agitation. As we all know, TV commercials are well-designed, and these advertisers are not hesitant to use exaggerated tactics to highlight their products. For example, one brand of laundry detergent can restore a shirt to its like-new whiteness, while others can't. But only the advertisers themselves know how well all this actually works, after all, it is too exaggerated to be convincing.
However, while exaggerated is widely regarded as deception, it is actually a reasonable way of expressing it. We often use "it only takes a minute" to mean that it only takes a short time, but in reality, it is often difficult to achieve. This is because exaggeration resonates with people and is more acceptable. In the same way, the agitation method is also a very effective way to express it. If we ask some competitive people to accomplish a seemingly impossible task, they are likely to push their limits and achieve amazing results.
All in all, these two creative inspirations not only spark people's imagination, but also stimulate our creativity. Only by constantly exploring and trying can we discover more and better ideas and inject more color into our lives. I had a friend named "Lao Qi" who I once said to him. He said, "Lao Hu, you just talk and don't practice, you have the ability to expose your delivery order and your investment performance." This encouraged me and gave me a strong sense of competition. However, I understood that it was illegal to post a delivery order, so I began to consider making a public offering**, so that my performance could be publicly displayed to everyone, so that those who questioned me had nothing to say.
But I found that this trick doesn't work in all situations. For example, I have an old friend who works as a TV presenter and has always been close. However, I always take the opportunity to motivate him to give up his current job and pursue greater achievements. But I also know that it takes courage and determination, and he doesn't have these qualities, so I can only keep encouraging him and hope that one day he will have the courage to pursue his dreams.
In general, sometimes we need to find fault and dismiss other people's opinions, but this is not an easy thing to do. We will encounter many difficulties and challenges, and at this time we need to use skills to seek common ground while reserving differences, affirmation and then denial. For example, when Lincoln communicated with front-line generals, he would often first affirm the merits and advantages of the other party, and then put forward his views and suggestions. This approach not only promotes communication and cooperation, but also facilitates consensus-building. Therefore, when we face challenges and criticisms, we must listen attentively, be good at thinking, and use reasonable methods to resolve contradictions and differences. Old Hu, lately I have had some minor problems with the joint command of several generals. I know that this does not represent my full strength, and I have not forgotten that we will fully support your decision.
But, as your assistant, I hope you can remain humble and not let victory get carried away and not be hit by defeat. We have been through hardships, but eventually we have all come out of them. Trust me, this time will not be an exception.
Speaking of the Hamburg Law, I think it does have a certain enlightening effect. Praise is one thing, but more importantly, criticism. If you just blindly praise it, it can make people feel tired and helpless. But if we can point out the problem after the compliment, maybe it will help us in our affairs.
Lao Hu, I believe that we can overcome the difficulties and achieve victory. Even in the most difficult times, we must persevere, because victory is not far away. That's why we follow the law of peaks and ends, because only with perseverance can we achieve ultimate success.
Finally, Lao Hu, I want to give you one more word, that is, no matter when, don't give up. You're a good commander, and we're all proud to have you as a leader. I believe that as long as we work together, we will be able to overcome all difficulties. Friend, you're right. We must learn to express our opinions in the right way, otherwise it is easy to be offended or conflicted. For example, when we disagree with what others say, we can find out what they are right about and then put forward our own opinions. After all, we can't avoid disagreement. Of course, we also have to remember that this process is not about provoking others, but about reaching consensus. As the old goes, we need to learn to express ourselves in gentle words and avoid using abusive or provocative words. In this way, we can better communicate and reach a consensus.
Moreover, we need to know how to control our emotions and not let them control us. We can't make personal attacks on other people because of their mistakes, that will only make things worse. Instead, we should look at things objectively and respect the views of others, while also sticking to our own beliefs. As the old nonsense said, we can't denigrate others because of a difference in opinion, we must learn to accept different voices with an open mind, so that we can grow and progress better.
So, friends, remember, we must communicate with respect and understanding, so that our relationship can be more harmonious. As the old nonsense says, we have to learn to express our opinions in the right way, so that we can get along with others better and make our lives better. Tomorrow we will continue to talk about the art of behaving in the world and speaking.