Zhang Xiaofeng once said:
When the fool is criticized, he refutes it word by word. ”
Writer Li Xiaomo also said:
"Always trying to outperform others in words is the lowest emotional IQ I've ever seen. ”
Outperforming others in words will only lead to false victories, but it arouses strong resentment.
There is a kind of person in life, whether his opinion is correct or not, he wants to use negation to outperform others in words and be proud.
Their common behavior is to pick out the negative things from the good things, to deny the opinions of others, to habitually start with a negative sentence, but to say the same thing, sour words, etc., provided that they are not necessary.
If the profession requires him to refute others, then his rebuttal is naturally reasonable.
We will inevitably encounter this kind of person who loves to refute and criticize you for no reason.
Those who are not wise enough will go toe-to-toe with him, causing a battle of negative energy, while those who are sober will remain silent and not argue with him.
Harvey once said:"To fight against each other and to add evil words is to lose the identity of a philosopher and a seeker of truth. ”
It is this reason that the most important self-discipline of being a person is to restrain one's desire to refute, so as not to cause trouble or waste one's life in arguments with acid people.
There's a philosophical story that's like this:
Someone asked, "Master, what's the secret to happiness?"”
The master replied, "Do not fight with fools. ”
The person who asked said, "I don't agree with you at all. ”
The master replied: "Yes, you are right!."”
A person who habitually refutes is harming himself, and no one will kindly remind him in the future, and no one will want to get close to him.
There is an unfamiliar friend whose personality is very pungent, and everyone knows that she is very quarrelsome and not easy to mess with, so she uses the wrong English word post all year round, and no one reminds her.
Because everyone doesn't want to risk being scolded by her or making her embarrassed to remind her, anyway, it has nothing to do with them, and it's not a big deal.
It's still a small thing, but what if it's a big thingWill others also watch her jump into the pit without reminding her, so as not to be bitten back.
Habitual rebuttals like to use "no!"."No" at the beginning, but the words that come out later may be the same as what you said earlier, and I don't know what he's against
Other common behaviors include when you tell you which restaurant is delicious, and he will immediately say that it is delicious!
You said that the newly bought clothes looked good, and he said that there was anything special?
You propose to do something together, and he says it's not good, but you ask him if it's good, and he can't give a good advice.
No matter what you say, you must start with a negative sentence or raise an objection, as if to highlight his power and wisdom.
Even if your point of view is actually the same, he will disgust you with another way.
Often before you finish your sentence, he doesn't understand what you want to say, so he is in a hurry to interrupt you to make your point.
I don't want to understand what the other person wants to express, and I don't care about the feelings of others, I just refute for the sake of refutation.
Goethe's "Goethe's Aphorisms and Impressions" once said:
"Rebuttal and flattery, both of which can create an unpleasant conversation. ”
People who habitually refute often feel that others are not listening to the truth, but they do not realize that there is something wrong with their behavior.
They themselves hate other habitual rebuttalsNo one likes to associate with people who are full of anger, and no one likes people who are like a hedgehog.
So they offend others everywhere, and they don't know that they are not very bad in the ostomy industry, but they give people a very bad feeling.
The host Lu Yu often impressed everyone that she loved to say: "Really, I don't believe it!."”
is often ridiculed by netizens, she didn't think there was anything wrong with her, until a health check-up, and the doctor said that she should live a normal life.
Lu Yu retorted that he had to work more than ten hours a day!The doctor then asked her to say, "Really, I don't believe it!."”
Only then did she realize how bad this verbal fear could be for others, and it was very unsympathetic.
After that, she changed and learned to listen, to listen intently, and if she didn't understand, she would ask leading questions instead of directly rejecting or refuting them.
This change has also reaffirmed her hosting skills, and people are willing to change their lives if they are willing to change.
Voltaire once said:
"I don't agree with you, but I defend your right to speak. ”
Bi Shumin's "Female Psychologist" also said:
To show resentment against reproach is to admit that you may be worthy of it. ”
Arguing will only strain the relationship, if you have to fight for right and wrong in everything, who will suffer if you don't live hard?
The person who habitually refutes is actually very tired, and if you respond to him, you will be dragged down by his negative energy.
Really smart people, when confronted with criticism and rebuttals, will respect different points of view and think carefully about whether they make sense.
A lot of insight is often hidden in unpleasant words, after all, the people who will be good and obedient to you love you, and they don't want you to be sad.
If you reject all unpleasant words, you are also rejecting the possibility of growth.
Andy Lau was once called "the actor who suffered the most bad reviews" by Hong Kong**, and the reporter asked him how he could grow up in doubt.
Andy Lau replied calmly: "Don't refute every word, reflect on every word." ”
Don't argue with people who are used to refuting, and don't become someone who loves to refute.
If you really don't like it, just keep your distance from them!They should also be accustomed to the coldness of their friends.
A person who really has a pattern will not think about cooperating with the other party's tricky point of view to persuade him, but will remain silent, and let him misunderstand if he wants to misunderstand!
As long as it doesn't affect him much, let him perform.
Just like Takeshi Kaneshiro, no matter what everyone said about him, he didn't want to come out and explain, once the flight attendant said that he signed with a smile, but afterwards reported that they were very dissatisfied.
Netizens said that he was too cautious and two-faced, and he didn't say a word, let the matter pass, I think it's because he is too lazy to explain himself, he feels very tired, just let others say it!
Anyway, he just wants to be an ordinary person, and everyone forgets that he is the best.
It is a pity that most of the so-called true remarks come from habitual rebutters.
It's not helpful to always blindly pick thorns and talk nonsense, so if someone is willing to give pertinent advice, it is very valuable.
He said that it is your benefit, he does not say that he has no loss, and what he says with the mentality of helping you, you must listen carefully.
Good advice and habitual rebuttals are completely different things, and if you encounter a habitual rebuttal, avoid them, and you don't have to argue with them, you will only get entangled.
You said that it was good to practice kettlebells, and he said that running was better, in shortOnly what he is doing is right, and everyone else is not good.
This is a common behavior of people who habitually refute, and it is easy to encounter on the Internet, just skip it.
If this person is your friend and often makes you angry, it's time to consider whether or not to continue.
If it is your partner, this is definitely a weakness that makes his condition worse, but you can remind him more, if you still don't change, you must learn to ignore, don't fight with him, just be silent.
I have seen several doctors, and when the other party clearly refutes him because of his lack of knowledge, they remain silent, choose not to respond, and go to talk about other things instead of arguing with him.
If your EQ is a little lower, you may choke the other person: "Are you a doctor or am I a doctor?"”
All sorts of unpleasant things come out, and then most of them get a negative +1.
I think those who are silent are not just for the sake of evaluation, but they don't think there is any need to fight.
The other party went home to check it himself, and then he knew the authenticity, so why bother to fight for it?It's also elegant.