1. On the way to work, a colleague saw an abandoned blind little dog, and when he saw that it was pitiful, he brought it back and put it in a cardboard box at the door of the company. The puppy was always barking, and my colleagues tried to coax it, but it was useless, but I took it in my arms and touched its back, and it was quiet. My colleague laughed and said to me, it may have smelled the same kind from you!
2 chased a girl for a long time, and the only thing she was dissatisfied with was that she thought my mother was unmanly. When I received her ** today, she said viciously: There is no one in my house at night, if you are a gentleman, you should know what to do, right?I replied tremblingly: I won't go without anyone, I'm scared in the dark!
3 At noon, I went to eat noodles. Across from each other sat a couple. A bowl of noodles came up, and the two of them met head to eat together. The men also allocated all the beef to the women. Because they were dressed a little plainly, I made up a touching story about life being not easy and sharing joys and sorrows. Soon another bowl of noodles came, and the woman excitedly pushed the original bowl to the man, and devoured the new bowl herself.
4 A few days ago, I cleaned up and broke a bottle of foreign wine from my father!I was afraid of being scolded by my father, so I gave my little niece twenty yuan to let her carry the black pot for me. For this matter, my little niece threatened me a lot and asked me to buy her snacks. Until one day, I saw my dad bring back a bottle of foreign wine from outside and fill it with brown sugar water!
5A woman got off the night shift, and a man followed her to plot evil, and the woman was afraid, and when she passed by the cemetery, she had an idea, and said to the grave, "Father, I am back, open the door." The man was terrified, screaming and running. The woman was at peace and was about to leave, when suddenly a gloomy voice came from the grave: "Girl, you forgot to bring the key again." The woman was frightened and ran away. Then a tomb robber came out of the grave and said, "......."Delay my work and scare you to death!As soon as the words of the tomb robber fell, I found that an old man next to him was carving a tombstone with a chisel, curious, and asked, the old man said angrily: They carved my name ...... wrongThe fear of robbing the tomb screamed and ran. The old man sneered: "Dare to steal business with me, and be a little more ......tender."As he was talking, the chisel accidentally fell to the ground, and the old man was about to pick it up, when he bent down and found that the chisel was held in one hand in the grass, the old man was startled, and suddenly a voice said: "You are looking for death!."Changing the house number of my house!!"The old man is rolling down the hill!At this time, a scavenger crawled out of the grass, "It takes such a big deal to make a piece of iron!"
When I was 6 years old, I grew up with my little friend next door, and he not only bullied me but also laughed at me for being shorter because he was taller than me. I came back and cried to my mother, and my mother said, your father and I are not short (my father is 181, my mother is 164), you are late, well-behaved, eat more than him. I just ate as hard as I could. Now ten years have passed, I have grown to 180, and he no longer dares to bully me. Yes, I'm so fat that he doesn't dare bully me......And the height, he is still taller than me!
7 In the early morning, the people who went to work were in a hurry to catch the car, and the car was so crowded that it was impossible to even turn around, and at this time, a big fat man was squeezed up, and he found that he had stepped on someone else's foot, so he yelled, "Hey, whose foot am I stepping on?"I'm sorry!”
If that foot doesn't have socks on, it's my foot!”
8 years of not seen my aunt suddenly visited, I called ** to ask my daughter-in-law to buy some vegetables from work and come back. In order to show that he is in charge, he deliberately pressed the speakerphone: "Daughter-in-law, my aunt-in-law is here, you come back from work to buy vegetables and cook. Unexpectedly, the daughter-in-law raised her voice: "Ho ho!."You've been getting a lot of work lately?The reason why I don't want to cook is quite specialOthers come to the aunt, you come to the aunt?Would you like to buy you a pack of sanitary napkins?”
9. "Why don't you play chess with Ah Huang anymore?"The wife asked Dumb.
Would you rather play chess with someone who is arrogant when he wins and curses when he loses?”
Of course not. The wife shook her head.
He is also reluctant to go down with such a person. Dumb said.
10The mouth says no, but the body is honest.
In the evening, my colleague organized a meal, and sat next to a better female colleague, and at this time I served a piece of shrimp, and she asked me if I wanted to eat itI said no, but she still gave me one, no way, I had to eat it, I didn't expect this product to come, I said no, but the body is very honest.