Text: Yang Xiurong.
My name is Yang Xiurong, I am 54 years old this year, I take my grandson during the day, and work in the factory in the evening, this job is part-time, and I basically have a stable monthly income of more than 10,000 yuan.
When I say this, I am not proud, but emotional, because if I had studied and gone to school, maybe I would have earned more than 10,000 yuan a month.
I have six brothers and sisters, I am the fifth, my brothers and sisters have all studied, but when I reached the age of studying, my father died in an accident, my sister was born a few months ago, my mother really didn't have time to take care of her, so I could only take care of my sister at home, she earned money to support the family.
I was not very old at that time, and in addition to taking care of my sister, I had to follow my mother to work in the fields and hoe weeds. I complained a few times when I saw my older siblings go to school and I had to work at home. At that time, my mother and my brothers and sisters discussed asking one of them to drop out of school and stay at home to take care of the children, but they did not agree, and my mother had to continue to let me take care of my sister at home.
Later, when my sister reached the age of studying, my mother sent her to school, and I was too old to go to school, but the school refused to accept her, so I had to give up.
At that time, I still had some resentment towards my mother, so I married into my in-law's family, which was 30 kilometers away from home. My husband is the second in line and is not favored, and the two of us worked hard together to have our own home and raise three children. I had two daughters and a son, and my husband and I were busy at the time, and my sons were basically taken care of by my two daughters.
I feel indebted to my son, so when the family conditions are a little better, I will prefer him more to make up for my guilt. When he got married, I bought him a car and a house in the city, and my husband and I rented a house by ourselves.
After my son got married, I was in an electric car factory to batch putty, this job was piecework, at that time, a car could get a commission of about 30 yuan, and I could earn three or four hundred a day. The husband works as a grinder in the factory, and he also earns seven or eight thousand a month.
After my daughter-in-law became pregnant, I quit my job in order to take care of her, and I have been at home with the children ever since.
My son and daughter-in-law are lazy, and since I moved to live with them, they have never washed the dishes, cooked the food, or even washed their own clothes and shoes. I'm so busy every day that I don't even have time to chat with my two daughters.
I mentioned to my son once that I was very tired of taking care of the children at home and doing housework, and I hoped that they would help me share it, but my son said: You are tired of taking care of the children at home, am I not tired from work?
My son showed me the calluses on his hands when he was working, and I was so distressed that I didn't talk about it anymore. My two daughters are quite filial and often drive to see me, I think that I am working too hard every day, I can have a good rest when they come, so I let them buy vegetables and cook, and by the way, help me take care of the children, let me take a break.
I didn't think there was anything wrong with doing this at the time, but when my eldest grandson was more than 2 years old, my daughter-in-law got pregnant again and gave birth to a girl, and I had to take two children a day.
Once, I called my second daughter, and she excused herself to be busy and didn't have time. I don't think she's filial and doesn't know how to help me share it.
The second daughter cried and said: You are tired, am I not tired?I'm the same as you, I have to take care of the children at home to cook, you still have savings, I don't even have savings, and life is tight. Every time I visit you, I have to buy vegetables and cook, which not only costs money but also tires, so why do I have to go back to see you?If you feel tired and go to your son and daughter-in-law to complain, why do you always come to me?
My second daughter rarely talked back to me, and when she said this, I was angry and cried. I kindly asked her to go back to her parents' home, but she felt that going back to her parents' house was a burden. For this reason, my second daughter and I had a cold war for more than three months without speaking. Later, the eldest daughter also mentioned this matter politely, and I gradually realized that what I was doing was wrong, and the relationship with the second daughter eased.
But I have to do housework and take care of two children, which is really inadequate. Once I was stir-frying in the kitchen, and my little granddaughter was sitting in a walker, and she took advantage of my inattention, ran to the living room, pulled down the kettle on the tea bar and smashed it on her forehead, although it didn't bleed, but swollen a bag.
When I coaxed my little granddaughter, my daughter-in-law got off work, she blamed me for not caring about taking the child, and said a few ugly words, I cried angrily and went back to my hometown alone. There was no one to take care of the child, and my daughter-in-law couldn't go to work, so I had to apologize to me again and persuade me to come back.
I told her that I had limited energy, housework and childcare, and I could only choose one. The daughter-in-law discussed with her son, and finally decided to send the eldest to the kindergarten, and I took care of the little granddaughter at home, and did the laundry and cooking in my free time.
My daughter-in-law took the initiative to take a step back, and I didn't want to do things too much, so I agreed.
In October this year, my husband's factory was very busy, and he needed more than 20 people who could give putty to electric vehicles, and they could work part-time and at irregular times. Over the years, I have paid for my family's living expenses, and I also bought my son's car insurance. I was running out of savings, and I thought it was a good schedule, and I brought it up in the evening when the family was having dinner.
My daughter-in-law works in the company as a salesman, and she gets off work at five o'clock every day, she agrees to go home to take care of the children after work, I go to work in the factory, and the cooking is handed over to my wife, who goes to the vegetable market to buy vegetables and cook after work.
So, I started the life of taking my children to work during the day and at night, I wanted to earn more money, basically I went to work at five o'clock, and after eleven o'clock at night, everyone in the factory got off work, and I was the last to leave.
In the first month, I calculated that I earned 12,335 yuan, three times more than my daughter-in-law's salary. I discussed with my daughter-in-law, she quit her job and stayed at home to take care of the children, and I went to work so that I could earn more. Every month, I paid my daughter-in-law 5,000 yuan, which is 1,000 more than she went to work.
The daughter-in-law disagreed, saying that she was too tired to take care of the children, and she didn't want to make herself so tired.
After my daughter-in-law refused, I could only continue to live with my children during the day and at work, although this job was profitable, but it was also very tiring, I did not rest well every day, and I had several blisters on my mouth.
I made money, and my son and daughter-in-law spent money lavishly, and I had to go out to eat on weekends, either to eat seafood buffet or to restaurants, and I was the one who paid every time.
A few days ago, I had a flu and a high fever. My daughter-in-law took leave to take care of the children at home, and I rested in the bedroom. I was so uncomfortable that I didn't cook. When my son came back from work, he saw that the dining table was empty, and shouted: Why don't you cook yet?I'm starving.
The daughter-in-law said: You go and ask our mother, she has been sleeping at home for a day, and she doesn't get up to cook, I am alone with the children, and I am tired and have a sore back.
My son ran to the door of the bedroom and said to me loudly, "Mom, get up and cook."
I forced myself to get up to cook when I was uncomfortable, and when I was eating, I fed my granddaughter, and my son and daughter-in-law ate slowly, and no one asked me if I was hungryI glanced up at the balcony and saw that the family's change of clothes was piled up and unwashed, and the floor was not mopped. I know that all this work is reserved for me.
Yesterday evening, I got off work early, and on the way home, I called my eldest daughter** and complained about my current situation. The eldest daughter said: Mom, I know you are very tired, but I don't sympathize with you at all. I advise you to save some money for your retirement while you still have work, and don't spend all your money on them. Otherwise, when you and my dad get old, do you expect them to take care of you and give you money to spend?
I smiled and said: My son is not filial, I still have two daughters, I see, your father and I are old, I can only count on you two sisters.
The eldest daughter's face changed at that time, and she said angrily: Don't expect us, you are not for us to be cattle and horses, why do you need to look for us when you need to serve. Since you have given so much to your brother, let him serve you when you are old. If he doesn't wait, we'll have time to see you often, and nothing else can be done.
I didn't want to continue talking to my daughter, so I hung up**. At that moment, I felt helpless and lost. I worked hard to bring up three children, is it easy?But now that my son is gnawing at the old age and my daughter is alienated from me, no one understands my hard work and helps me share it.
I now earn more than 10,000 yuan a month, and many of my peers around me envy me for having such a good job in middle age, but who can see my hard work?
I worked to earn money, and I didn't delay taking care of my children, but I was the one who suffered. I couldn't help but ask myself, what have I come to this point?
At night, I had insomnia. I told my wife what I was thinking, but he was silent. I know that he is also angry with me, he said that let me earn money and save it, don't tell my son and daughter-in-law how much I earned, I can't control my mouth and have to say it, and I still subsidize all the money on them, he can now predict how difficult our old age will be.
My wife advised me to quit my job and take care of the children at home so that I wouldn't be so tired. Then we found an opportunity to discuss with our son and daughter-in-law and asked them to give us some living expenses every month.
I'm hesitant now, I'm reluctant to get this job, and I'm worried that if I ask them for living expenses, my son and daughter-in-law will be angry, and I don't know what to do